A Determined Person

"Well, you blew it," Ray said. "You really, really blew it."

"Don't you have a class to teach?" I asked.

"Worksheets," Ray said, nodding towards one of the whirring copy machines. "I have a good five minutes to tell you that you blew it."

"How did you know—" I started, but Ray interrupted me.

"I've been your best friend for close to ten years. I can tell when you screwed something up, and my Spidey-senses are tingling."

I raised my eyebrows at his use of the phrase 'Spidey-senses' and pressed my mouth into a thin line before saying: "I... Did screw something up. I screwed up so bad."

"What did you do, Frank?"

"I... Saw Gerard naked. Kind of," I said and bit my bottom lip in embarrassment.

Ray stared blankly at me for a few seconds before chuckling. "Define 'kind of'." He requested.

"I saw his chest," I said. "He was trying to get a paint stain out of his shirt and I walked in to ask him about the cover for the yearbook and... Yeah."

"Oh, dude," Ray said and clapped a hand down onto my shoulder. "You fucked up."

"He got really angry, and... He kinda pressed his shirt to his chest, like he was covering himself up. He seems really feminine; it's cute."

"Jesus," Ray mumbled. The copy machine suddenly stopped and he turned to look at it. "I've gotta be getting back. Have a good rest-of-planning."

"See ya," I said as he gathered his stack of papers and left the room.

The only thing on my mind then was a cigarette. A part of my misspent youth was spent in smoke-filled venues and, while I don't appreciate anything else, I love the smell of cigarette smoke.

Quickly, I made my way out to the back of the building, pulling the sleeves of my ever-present navy sweater down as I leaned against the bricks. I pulled out my carton— almost empty, I noted—and frowned when my fingers couldn't come in contact with my lighter.

"Need a light?" a voice said next to me and I yelped, jumping out of my skin to face the red-haired cause of my recent distress. "Shit, I didn't mean to scare you! I'm so sorry!"

"Gerard..." I started, out of breath from my fright. "You scared the living piss out of me. And, yes, I do need a light."

"I didn't peg you as a smoker," Gerard said as he searched the pocket of his green canvas coat.

"You smelled like smoke, so I had you pretty pegged," I laughed.

"Usually, I smoke in the kiln, but it's being used by someone with a study period right now," he said and his hand went to his back pocket, still searching. Now, my attention was on his ass. Great, that's what you want.

It wasn't that bad, actually.

"I..." He started and pulled his hand out of his jeans pocket. "Cannot find my lighter. Sorry."

"It's fine," I said and sighed heavily. "I don't need it, anyway. Cigarettes kill you, you know."

"Then, I'm as good as dead." Gerard said and smiled, his cigarette in the corner of his mouth. So, that's why he smiles and talks like that; classic smoker.

"Hey, about this morning—"

"Don't wanna talk 'bout it," Gerard said quickly, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and blowing smoke at the sky. "It happened. You saw what you did. Let's," He made a sweeping gesture with the hand holding the cigarette, spreading ash in the cold October air, "Move on."

"Alright..." I said quietly, putting my cigarette back in the box and slipping it back into my pocket. I saw his gaze slip to my own ass for a split second before looking up to meet my eyes.

Carefully, he dropped his cigarette on the ground and crushed it with the toe of his paint-splattered Converse before moving closer to me until he was in front of me, so close that his chest was pressing against mine. He bit his bottom lip and leaned closer to me, pressing his lips against mine.

Holy moly mother of pearl, what fresh hell is this? He moved his mouth against mine, almost as if he was trying to entice me into kissing back. I clenched my eyes shut hard and pushed him away from me, trying to catch my breath.

"What the hell?" I asked, knitting my eyebrows together.

"What?" He asked.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Did you not want to kiss me?" He asked, his grin dropping off his face.

"No!" I exclaimed. Then, my brain decided to make the worst decision ever and made me cry: "I'm not gay!"

Silence come across the two of us and he finally whispered: "Oh. I'm so sorry, Frank. I didn't mean... I just assumed—"

"You know what they said about assuming things, Gerard," I said. "It makes an ass out of you and me. And that's been proven pretty well." No, what are you doing? Stop this madness! I yelled at myself, but the damage was already done.

"I'm really sorry, Frank," Gerard repeated. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and looked at the ground. "I... I... Should go."

Wordlessly, he went back inside and, once the door has closed, I buried my face in my hands, groaning long and loud. Why am I like this? I wanted to kiss Gerard all day long, if I could, but I was too surprised to do anything.

Now, the possibility of being with Gerard in the near future was crushed, unless I wanted to tell him I was lying. That would just be a mess.

"Fuck you, Frank," I whispered. "Fuck."

Distantly, I heard the bell ring inside and I looked up from my hands. Sixth period was in five minutes. I pushed the door open and made my way up to my classroom, trying not to think about the way his lips felt on mine, warm and chapped from the cold wind and constantly chewing them.

New mission: kiss Gerard Way as much as possible. Bonus points: do it while we're making love. Win the game: date him. Insert quarter; choose character.

Press play.

Notes

Frank: I'm not gay!

Gerard:

xoøli