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Chasing Stars

Dad

I opened my eyes to realize the room was a lot darker than before. I must have fallen asleep against my will. I rolled over to be face to face with Bandit. She was sleeping, half in the cover and half out. I let out a sigh. She looked a lot like Lindsey. It was hard to see Gerard in her where as I knew, I looked just like Gerard. There was no use denying it. I quietly stood up and slid out from the covers without waking Bandit. I grabbed one of Gerard's sweatshirts that was laying near the end of his bed and exited the room.

The house was silent as I walked down the stairs. I expected to see someone in the living room but it was empty. I continued into the kitchen but it was empty as well. The noise of typing echoed through the hallway as I approached Gerard's office which was right next to Lindsey's studio. I cautiously walked into the room to see Gerard sitting at his computer. I walked in picking up the slinky on his table as I approached his desk. The noise forced him to turn around.

"Hey," he said before closing his laptop.

"Hi," I answered leaning on his desk.

"Did you get some sleep?" he asked turning slightly to face me.

"Yeah, I’m ah, I’m sorry about this afternoon. I don't really know what happened." After speaking the words, I lowered my head to watch the slinky.

"Don't be sorry. You are going through things. We all know that and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I would like you to level with me a bit and tell me exactly what is going on. What is triggering this? I want to help you but I can only do so much," Gerard stated. I watched him for a moment debating how much I should really give. I set the slinky down after deciding he deserved to know.

“I can't get her out of my head. The more I try to not think about her, the worse it seems to get. Today it was like I was there. It was like I wast watching her die again…and it hurt. Loosing her…. I feel… I feel like when she died she took a part of me. A part that I’ll never get back. She said something to me, when she was dying…I didn't know it at the time but she was talking about you," I finally managed to get out.

"What did she say?" Gerard asked after a moment of silence.

"She said that I needed to trust you, that I needed to give you a chance. I didn't know it was you," I answered. We looked at each other for a moment. The silence was killing me. It made me feel like he could see everything that I hid. "Why was Bandit upstairs?" I asked trying to break my nerves.

"Oh she was worried about you and tired. Lindsey put her in there before she took off." He reached over turning off his desk lamp. "Did she wake you up?"

"No, she didn't. She's still asleep." I pushed off the desk to see what books Gerard had on this bookshelf. The majority of the books that scattered his shelves, I didn't recognize. I let out a quiet chuckle when I saw the Dune series.

"Something you like?" Gerard asked walking up next to me. I pointed at the books and rolled my eyes.

"Of course you would have that," I muttered walking away from the books towards the door. Gerard laughed but followed nonetheless.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gerard asked catching up to me. I shrugged with a smirk. "God, you are my child," he muttered wrapping his arm around me and dragging me towards the kitchen. I sat down at the counter while Gerard looked around the kitchen and then to me. "Mexican?" he asked. I raised my eyebrows. Gerard rarely cooked, while I should say he rarely cooked a healthy dinner or a complicated dinner. "Let's do mexican," he stated, turning towards the refrigerator.

He grabbed out tones of vegetables, piling the ingredients onto the counter. He then grabbed out the cutting board and a knife. He then turned towards me nodding his head for me to come over. I once again raised my eyebrows at him. "Come on, come help master chief." I let out a laugh but walked to the sink to wash my hands anyway.

"Ok, what am I doing?" I asked him. He turned towards the veggies pointing at them.

"Can you cut the peppers and onion to about this big of pieces," he motioned with his hands. I gave him a smile and nodded. I began to cut the veggies as directed and placed them in to a small bowl. It was quiet in the kitchen aside from the sound of cutting and Gerard occasionally humming. It was peaceful. When I finished cutting what Gerard had instructed, I turned towards him.

"Okay, done. What next Dad?" I asked. He paused for a moment looking at me. It wasn't until that moment that I realized what I had just said. I hesitated on what to say after, my mouth slightly agape with anticipation of an apology coming out. Nothing came to my rescue. In that fraction of a second a slight curve came to Gerard's lips before his voice echoed in the kitchen.

"Come over here with that and add it to that that sauce," he instructed. I added the vegetables, suddenly feeling very self conscious about myself.

“I didn't mean too, I’m sorry," I stuttered quickly setting the cutting board down.

"Rylynn," he stated to get me to stop babbling on. "Ry," he stated again. I sighed and slowly turned toward him afraid of what would come next. “I am your dad. If you want to call me dad, that's fine. If you aren't ready for it," he began as he leaned against the counter, “I’m alright with that too. I hope eventually you will be comfortable with it but if you need time, you need time. I’m not rushing you." I nodded to his statement, finding it hard to keep eye contact at that moment. Gerard pulled me into a hug, gently rubbing my back. When he pulled away he pointed towards the water. "Want to add two cups of rice?" Just like that, we went back to cooking.

After dinner was ready, Gerard went up stairs to wake up Bandit. While he was gone, Lindsey came in the backdoor.

"Hey," she said pulling off her jacket and kicking off her shoes.

"Hi," I muttered slowly.

"Smells good, Gerard cooked?” she asked walking up to the pots stirring them as she inspected their content.

"Yeah," I answered quickly. I didn't know how to act around her. Especially after this afternoon. It left me feeling so exposed and anxious.

"How ya feeling?" Lindsey asked as she turned around to grab out plates.

"Fine," I answered pulling at the ends of the sweatshirt. Lindsey looked my up and down for a moment. She must have noticed I was feeling uncomfortable.

"No one is judging you for what happened. Everyone that was here knows you have had a really rough six months. No one expects you to be perfect or act any particular way," Lindsey stated. I nodded letting her know that I understood.

"Hey Linds, just in time," Gerard said as he reentered the kitchen. Bandit came up and sat next to me.

"You're ok right?" Bandit asked in a worried tone. I looked at her for the first time as a little sister. She cared about me as did Lindsey and Gerard. This was my family even if we were unconventional.

"Yeah kid, I’m good," I replied as I rubbed her back.

Notes

Comments

@action.cat
Thanks

nailsntacks nailsntacks
5/26/18

Sorry for your losses :-) hope you're doing well! Love the story so far :-)

action.cat action.cat
5/15/18

@JJJJ
Thanks!

nailsntacks nailsntacks
3/12/18

Good story. I've just read it this afternoon and continued reading nonstop until the latest chapter and its almost midnight. Probably will read it til morning if there were more. I'm really excited for an update.

JJJJ JJJJ
3/4/18

Sorry for the wait

nailsntacks nailsntacks
11/21/17