Chasing Stars

I looked back down at the phone, opening up a game on the phone, my mind running faster than I could even understand it. I had no idea what they where talking about or how much time had passed. I was rushed back to reality when Gerard pushed his chair back. I looked up to see everyone beginning to stand. I did the same and quickly approached the door. Gerard walked up behind me talking to who I assumed to be the lawyers. I pushed the elevator down button hoping it would take me away from this place as soon as possible. He had no right to get upset about me not saying anything about my past when he couldn't even tell me about his plans to leave town. What was going to happen? Was I going to get stuck here with Lindsey? Was I getting shipped off to New Jersey? He was leaving me, alone. We approached the front desk where everyone was returning there passes. I ripped mine off of my shirt and slammed it to the desk. I could feel Gerard look at me for a moment. He was trying to figure out what happened. He said his goodbyes as we walked to the garage. I did a general wave to someone who said my name. I walked fast to the car and waited for Gerard to pull his keys out of his pocket. The moment the car was unlocked I climbed inside.

"What's going on?" Gerard asked with a confused look on his face. I shoot him a glare but no words followed. "Rylynn, what's going on?" he asked again. More silence. "Okay," he said and turned the car on. We began to drive. The closer we got to the house, the more I was fighting back tears as my brain went in over drive debating scenerios.

"You're leaving," I finally muttered as we pulled into the garage. Gerard let out a sigh closing his eyes.

"Rylynn it's complicated but I promise I wont always be gone and you guys will be visiting and I'll be home when I can," he said removing his seatbelt.

"No you're leaving. God and you yelled at me about today but you don't have a leg to stand on. You're fucking leaving," I yelled at him. His eyebrows raised. I let out an angry groan and got out of the car.

"Rylynn, what you did today is completely different than me going on tour. I wasn't going to say anything until the start date was set. You skipped school and ran from a cop, that is completely different," he scolded. I turned to face him stepping slightly away from the car.

"You know what I think of your stupid tour?" I said with anger in my voice. Gerard leaned on his car waiting for me to continue. "This," I said raising his phone in the air and slamming it to the ground. I heard it shatter as I walked away and in to the house. My name was being yelled as I slammed the door and began to walk upstairs.

"Rylynn Marie, get back here," I heard him say. I was at the bottom of the stairs. I ignored him and continued up the stairs. I walked into my room and shut the door. I flopped onto my bed and starred at my paint covered walls. All of the pain, all of my pain, in every brush stroke across the wall. I didn't want him to leave, not like this. I looked into the eyes above my bed. It was my mothers face. It was her and her brown curly hair. I could still remember the way she walked, the way she laughed, the way she would dance in the kitchen while she cooked. Just then my door was thrown open.

"Rylynn do not," Gerard began and quickly stopped when he looked at the walls. His jaw dropped. "What…when…Rylynn…" he couldn't find the words. I sat up against my wall, looking at his eyes wash across the wall.

"What do you want?" I asked folding my arms around my legs. Gerard's eyes landed on me.

"We're gonna talk about this later," he said indicating the walls. "Get up and come back downstairs," he stated reaching a hand towards me.

"No," I stated shooting him a glair.

"I'm not asking you. I'm tell you," he said in a stern voice.

"And I don't give a shit," I stated allowing my head to bob.

"Rylynn do not start this you are already in enough trouble," Gerard stated placing his hands on his hip.

"Right because its alright for you to fucking lie," I practically yelled pulling my hands away from my legs and kneeling on my bed.

"Hey, I didn't lie and stop cussing," he retorted.

"You lied!" I yelled again.

"I didn't lie Rylynn. Stop this shit," he began only to be cut off by me.

"You are a fucking lier."

"And get downstairs right now," he finished. At this point, I was standing on my bed.

"You lied and you don't even care!"

"Rylynn now!" Gerard shouted back stepping forward.

"Fuck you Gerard," I shouted.

"Really?" he asked raising an eyebrow. I raised my head making me taller than him. Before I knew it he throw me over his shoulder and carried me out of the room.

"Let me down," I shouted punching him in the back and flailing my legs around. I was suddenly dropped onto a soft surface. I quickly sat up tossing my hair out of my face. I quickly looked at my surroundings to realize I was in his room. I let out a sigh. Gerard shook his head and sat next to me on the bed. His hand came to his face and rubbed his forehead.

"First and foremost, do not ever say that to me again," he said pulling his hand away. I gave a frown at him. "Second, if I say to stay downstairs, you stay downstairs."

"I really don't like you right now," I said looking out the window and away from him.

"Rylynn, I didn't lie to you okay. I didn't want to say anything until I knew actual dates," he attempted to explain.

"What you couldn't warn me before I went in there?" I asked, still not looking towards him.

"I forgot because someone decided to get arrested," he said clearly shooting a quick smile. "You broke my phone," he added after a moment of silence.

"And you broke her heart," I said turning and looking at him straight in the eye.

"What happened between your mom and I, is between your mother and I. Not you," he bit back.

"You know," I said looking down and my hands, "I used to think that I just wanted her to live." I reached in my pocket and grabbed out the old picture of them. "Now I know, I wish you died so she could have lived," I said handing him the picture and walking towards the door.

"Rylynn," he said softly. I stopped at his door and turned towards him.

"You broke her and right now Gerard, I can see exactly why she never wanted me near you," I stated before exiting the room. This time Gerard didn't follow.

Notes

Let me know what you think.

~Nailsntacks