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Chasing Stars

Can I skip?

The sun was shinning through the window, bright as can be. I barred my head deeper realizing it was against someone. I must have finally fallen asleep. I heard footsteps walk in the room attempting to be quiet.

"Gee?" Lindsey whispered, her hand to Gerard's shoulder.

"Hey," he muttered to her. He slide his arm from under me, stretching. It came to rest on my shoulder. I attempted to bury my head deeper.

"I'm going to start breakfast. Are you two gonna get up?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll wake her up," he said with a whisper. I heard her steps disappear and felt Gerard's hand come to my head.

"Rylynn," he cooed attempting to get me to stir. I groaned in response. "Ry, it's time to get up," he said softly. As if thrusted from my sleep into cold water, I sat up as fast as I could and inhaled. "Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, you're fine. I was just waking you up." His hand was rubbing my back and he was trying to catch my eye contact. I continued to dart my eyes around the room. He cupped my face turning it to him. My eyes connecting with him.

"I'm fine," I muttered.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he whispered.

"You didn't," I said simply pushing my covers aside and climbing out of the bed. Gerard caught my arm as be began to walk toward the door.

"Come here," I turned and looked at him. "Don't do that, don't withdraw. Talk to me," he said pulling me back to the bed.

"I'm okay. Trust me, just was startled."

"Please," he said with fear in his eyes. I sighed and sat down at the edge of the bed.

"That was my nickname. Ry," I said with a sigh. "It's fine Gerard. I'm fine. It just startled me." Gerard looked at me in disbelief. "It's your turn to trust me." He continued to look at me searching for a glimpse of a lie. Finally he nodded. I stood up and walked out of the room and into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror wanting to push the image I saw in front of me away. I slashed water on my face trying to clear my mind.

By the time I made it downstairs, breakfast was ready. I sat down and looked at Bandit that was bouncing in her chair.

"Today is art class," she said to Gerard.

"Do you get to play with clay again?" he asked and she eagerly nodded.

"Oh shit it's Monday," said realizing I had to be ready to leave in twenty minutes. Both Gerard and Lindsey looked at me.

"Oh shit, oh shit! Daddy, what is shit?" Bandit said. Gerard just gave me a 'seriously' look.

"Bandit that is a bad word and you should not say it," Lindsey stated.

"Or what?" she said putting her hand on her hip and standing up on her chair.

"Do you see what you started?" Gerard said looking at me.

"Or you're going to lose movie night," Lindsey said.

"Not fair that doesn't happen to Rylynn," Bandit said sitting down.

"Well she's older and she still gets in trouble," Lindsey said clearly getting aggravated.

"Okay can I saaaay, asshole?" my father sighed.

"No Bandit now finish your breakfast and go grab your shoes."

"Why does Rylynn get to say all of the fun words?" Bandit whined. Everyone was looking at me. Lindsey was about to answer her but I cut in.

"I'm not allowed to," I answered looking down at my food.

"But you do all the time and you get to call Mommy and Daddy by their first names like Uncle Mikey does." I looked at Gerard that lowered his head clearly trying to figure our what to say.

"It's complicated B. Finish your food," he muttered softly. I watched him intently. He was disappointed and hurt. I'm sure he wanted me to call him dad. I'm sure he would love it if I was behaved and didn't fight so much. I'm sure he would love it if I would open up to him and accept this place as my home. "What?" he asked taking a drink of his coffee and looking at me. I gave him a questioning look.

"Huh?" I asked picking up my orange juice.

"You're starring at me. What's up?" he asked.

"Oh sorry, I was… thinking."

"All done!" Bandit shouted.

"Okay go put your shoes on," Lindsey said standing up and grabbing the plates. She followed Bandit to the other room.

"I'm sorry Gerard," I said taking another bit of fruit.

"For what?" he asked finishing his food and leaning back.

"I'm sorry I don't call you dad. I'm sorry because I know that's what you want and I just… It's complicated to me."

"Rylynn, you can call me whatever you want. I'm never going to make you call me dad if that is something you don't want." Silenced engulfed the kitchen until Bandit came running in to say goodbye.

"You should probably get ready for school," Gerard said as he began to clean up the kitchen.

"Can I skip today?" I asked.

"What? Why? No," he said, his words coming fast in a confused manner.

"Can I skip and just… hangout with you?" i asked looking down at my plate moving my food around in a circle.

"Why today?" he asked. I shrugged. He grabbed the plate I was playing with. "Rylynn is something going on at school where you don't want to go?"

"No it's nothing like that. I just… I want to show you something. You know, let you in. Tell you about myself. I just… I guess until this weekend, I didn't realize how much i was taking fore granted what I had here." At this point Gerard was sitting next to me again. "I'm mad at you all the time. I've been mad at you before I knew you. At times even hated you. I don't want to anymore. I need to make new memories to drawn out the old horrible ones. Not to forget her or forget them but to get my mind to stop replaying moments of my life over and over again." I took another drink of my juice.

"Okay, you can stay home. I have to go by the studio today, are you alright with that?" I nodded. "Go get ready, I'll clean up the kitchen."

Notes

Please tell me what you think.

~Nailsntacks

Comments

@action.cat
Thanks

nailsntacks nailsntacks
5/26/18

Sorry for your losses :-) hope you're doing well! Love the story so far :-)

action.cat action.cat
5/15/18

@JJJJ
Thanks!

nailsntacks nailsntacks
3/12/18

Good story. I've just read it this afternoon and continued reading nonstop until the latest chapter and its almost midnight. Probably will read it til morning if there were more. I'm really excited for an update.

JJJJ JJJJ
3/4/18

Sorry for the wait

nailsntacks nailsntacks
11/21/17