Victimized

"Hurry up, kid." Bert rolled his eyes impatiently, waiting for me to get out of the car. I tried to obey but I was hurting too much and I couldn't move any faster. "I don't have time for your bullshit, come on." He pulled me by the arm and out of the car, making me fall to the ground. A sharp pain shot through my knees when they hit the hard concrete, making me let out a shrill gasp.

Bert grabbed a fist of my hair and yanked me up onto my feet, causing tears to well on my
eyes, and I fought to keep myself from crying right there.

After a whole day -a long, torturing day- we were back at Gerard's house, and once we were in front of the door Bert knocked loudly. "Gerard, I don't have all day, open the door!"

The door opened a few moments later, revealing Gerard standing there, looking down at me.

For a moment I thought I saw a rare expression flash in his eyes, but it was gone before I could put my finger on what it was. Whatever it was, it was immediately replaced by anger, and I thought it was directed towards me until he looked at Bert and spoke up.

"What did you do to him?"

"What? You know what I did."

"No, you did something else."

"How would you know-"

"Body language. I'm an expert when it comes to reading it."

"Oh, it's not like you didn't force him too, I'm not the only one."

"You told him?" Gerard turned to me and my heart beat raced.

"I- don't..." I stuttered.

"Never mind. Just... Just wait till we are inside." My throat closed with those words. He couldn't do it again, could he? "What did you do?" He was talking to Bert, fortunately averting his gaze away from me to look at the man standing next to me.

"Nothing you wouldn't do as a punishment."

"Punishment?" Gerard raised an eyebrow.

"He was fighting back, kicking, screaming. He has to learn, Gerard."

"Bert, what did you do?"

"You ask him. I got to go. Don't forget my money next time. With that, Bert walked back to his car, opened the door and drove down the street, leaving me alone with my biggest fear.

"What are you waiting for?" Gerard snapped and I walked through the door slowly, trying not to increase the pain on my lower half. As soon as I was inside Gerard stood in front of me.

"Why did you tell Bert?" Just the way he was talking to me sent chills down my spine.

"He- he asked me. He saw the bruises." I stared down at my shoes, too scared to even look at him.

"And just because he asked you, you told him?" I just bit my lip. He grabbed my chin and turned my face up at him. "Fucking look at me and answer."

"He was- he was going to make it all worse..." I choked out.

He opened his mouth to say something but luckily for me Pete was coming out of one of the rooms. He asked what was going on and Gerard explained the situation angrily.

"And why do you care? It was obvious and it's not going to change anything anyway. Bert doesn't care anyway, stop making a deal out of every single thing Frank does. I get that you have bad temper, but this? Frank is nothing but nice to you. Now get him to his room without hurting him." The authority in Pete's voice was something I had never heard, and surprisingly Gerard didn't fight him.

"I'm only doing this because of Mikey." He muttered. I was starting to understand that Mikey and Gerard were brothers, and that Pete was Mikey's boyfriend. "Room." Gerard snapped at me.

-

"What did Bert do?" Was the first thing Gerard said when we stepped in my room.

"Do I have to answer that?" My voice trembled and my cheeks flushed. I didn't want to remember; I was ashamed and terrified.

"Frank." Gerard growled.

"Please, I don't want to talk about it." I whispered, my breathing getting irregular.

"Well that's bad because you'll have to." I squeezed my eyes shut and stayed quiet, running my hands through my hair. "I don't have all day."

"No-"

"I think someone's asking to be punished."

My eyes widened, my whole body shaking by now. I couldn't handle this again! I was pretty sure that if I got out of here alive, I wouldn't want to do anything sexual ever again. I had a bad first experience, and I didn't want anyone to touch me ever again.

I started crying immediately after Gerard locked the door and his hands flew directly down to his black jeans.

"Kneel on the floor. Now." I shakily did as he said, my body aching. "You know what to do."

No, no, no.

"No, please. You hadn't done this before." I begged. I couldn't do this again. "Please!" I screamed as he started undoing his pants; his hands stopped immediately and he raised his eyebrow, staring at me.

"And why do you think I'm going to listen to you?"

"Just- please," I cried harder; I couldn't help it. Gerard bit his lip and for a moment I thought he was considering listening to me, but he shook his head. Of course he wouldn't listen. Maybe if I screamed loud enough someone else would hear me. "Someone! Please!"

"Stop it." His jeans and boxers were now pooling at his ankles, and he was standing right in front of me, his member semi-hard in my face. Did he actually got aroused by fear and pain. This man was sick, but he had already proven that.

"Please!" I cried out. I kept shouting but was forced to stop when Gerard shoved his member in my mouth. I was letting out muffled screams while he moaned quietly, the sounds making me sick to my stomach. I sometimes gagged when he pushed to hard, but kept trying to be noticed by someone outside the room, when a knock on the door was heard. I sobbed, relieved that someone was here; I didn't care who it was. But Gerard didn't stop.

"Gerard?"

I tried to make a sound so they would heard me. It got out muffled and wavering, but it worked.

"What are you doing to him, Gerard?! Open the door, now!"

I was trying so hard to pull away from him, desperate because I felt like I couldn't breathe at some times; but he was holding me by my hair, pulling hard and making me stay in my place. My face was red and wet, more tears ran all over it when I heard the screaming from outside stopped and the footsteps walked away from the room. They were leaving me here with Gerard again, weren't they? They needed to make this stop.

I tried to choked back my tears and went faster, sucking him into my mouth harder, trying to get this over with as soon as possible.

I didn't understand why Gerard couldn't warn me mire than two times. He had no mercy. He went straight to the punishment if I didn't listen to him. He didn't try to scare me with just words, he did what he said and that's why I feared him so much, plus I had never been a brave person.
Suddenly the footsteps came back and I heard the sound of keys. Then, the door flew open and I couldn't be more relieved. I felt strong hands grabbing me from under my armpits, making Gerard let go of me and pulling me away from him, but I never opened my eyes. The next thing I felt were arms around my body, pulling me off the floor.

I attempted to stop the tears spilling from my eyes, wiping the spit and pre-cum off my chin with my hand, wrapping my arms around myself after I was done. I opened my eyes slowly and found it was Ray who had saved me. I was starting to feel ashamed about Pete and Ray always helping me, but I was fucking grateful. I looked back at Gerard, an angry expression on his face as he did his pants up. He walked quickly out of the room, and I didn't understand what was his problem.

"I'm sorry," Ray started. "Um... are you okay?" I rubbed my eyes instead of answering, of course I was not okay.

I strode over to my bed and sat down carefully, trying to find an angle that didn't hurt. When I moved my lower back to lay down, pain shot trough me and I cried out loudly, the tears coming back.

"Frank, what's wrong?" I barely heard Ray as I focused on figuring out what to do. "What happened? Frank." I took in deep breaths, trying to steady my breathing. I decided it was better if I didn't move at all, so I just lay there. I bit my lip as I felt Ray coming closer. "Frank, can you talk to me?" I nodded weakly. "Something real fucking bad happened at Bert's, am I right?" I nodded again, my eyes shut tight. "Can you tell me what was it?"

"No," I cried. "I don't want to talk about it, please. I don't want to remember." How could my life could get this bad? How could I be in so much pain if just a few days had gone by?

"Frank," he sounded desperate. "Please, if you don't tell, Gerard won't understand. I don't like to make you talk about it, but Gerard wouldn't believe you until you tell him exactly how bad it was. Please, Frank; I promise that if you tell me I'll talk to him and he won't hurt you because of that."

"I- but- no! It was fucking painful and it's so embarrassing." My voice shook as vivid images flashed in my head.

"I would never judge you, please tell me." Ray used a gentle tone and I gave in.

"O-okay. But- alright. Bert said he was supposed to just- have... sex... with me." I hesitated, my cheeks burning with shame. "But I started fighting back so he made me drop to my knees and..." I trailed off and Ray nodded, thankfully knowing what I meant. "I've never done that before. Gerard never made me do that. It was awful." I let out a shaky breath, running my fingers through my hair in a failed attempt to calm myself down. "But I kept talking back at him, I just need to fight, I couldn't let him do anything to me. It was all out of fear, but I just made it worse. He- he called "one of his men" as he said. And they- both-"

"Oh, my God," Ray clasped his hand on his mouth. "Both, like, at the same time? The two if them did it at the same time to you?" I nodded, fidgeting with the sheets underneath me.

"I didn't even know it was possible!" I cried, breathing harder. I was starting to hyperventilate; I realised that happened awfully often now.

"Hey, uh, it's okay, I'm really fucking sorry, Frank. I'm going to talk with Gerard. It'll be okay. You rest for now and I'll tell you what happened, is that okay?"

It wasn't, I didn't want to be left alone again, but I told him yes so I wouldn't cause any more trouble. When he left, I tried to sleep so I would forget about this horrible situation, hoping it was just a nightmare and that it would end when I woke up. But I didn't have to open my eyes to know this wasn't over yet.

This was far from over.

Notes