Kill All Your Friends

It was Thanksgiving and while Gerard was still giving his parents the cold shoulder, he did wish them a happy Thanksgiving.

“Gerard, we’re sorry for how we’ve been. Will you forgive us, sweetheart?” His mother said. He gave her a small sympathetic smile, pitying her almost.

“One day, mom. Tell the rest of the family I said hi, I guess. I’m going to be with Frank and from there he and I are visiting Mikey. I’ll be in good hands; no need to call,” he said as he slipped his feet into his shoes and left the house. His parents would be gone for the weekend, visiting his other family in Maine. Frank was set to stay with him and he was excited for it. He was enjoying life and he wasn’t going to let anything stop him, not even himself. When he walked outside, he was met with chilly air caressing his face, and the half-naked trees decorated with those reds, oranges, and yellows. He liked this kind of weather, because Frank was prone to getting cold so he had more of an excuse to hold him. Over a month ago, Frank and Gerard had proudly confessed their love to each other and began dating. Upon arriving back at Frank’s house after a few hours, Gerard quickly went into the home and up to Frank’s room. Although it wasn’t the way either of the two envisioned their confession for each other, they were just happy to finally say it. Frank spoiled Gerard rotten, even more so when the man got a job at the local record shop, half of his paycheck going to some type of gift for the other man. Ranging from books to comics, vinyl’s to CDs, and VHS tapes to DVDs. He was happy that Frank always thought of him, but felt bad for all the money being spent. He’d be happy with Frank just playing him a song on the guitar as he started doing every couple of weeks or so. He lived for those day.

On his walk to Frank’s, he thought back to his conversation with Ray, this also being the first Thanksgiving not spent with him or Bob. And remembered how he’d actually held the taller man as he sobbed his apologies over and over again. It was heart-wrenching.

“I forgive you, Ray,” Gerard found himself saying. Guilt and anger should be left alone. Everyone had suffered enough since Mikey’s passing and seeing how much it was tearing Ray apart, he decided it was time for forgiveness. “You loved him, too, right?” He asked.

“I still do. I don’t think those feelings will ever go away,” Ray answered, his voice nasally from crying. Gerard smiled and patted his shoulder.

“Then it’s okay. Mikey knows how you feel now and while everything went as bad as they could go, forgive yourself, okay? Because in the end, no matter how much guilt or shame or anger or sadness that you hold won’t bring him back. You have to understand that. Stop beating yourself up. You’re forgiven by me, and I’m sure by Mikey as well. He wasn’t the type to hold a grudge, you know that.” After his speech, Ray cried all over again, this time in happiness, and thanked him.

He remembered how much easier it’d been than he normally thought it would. He was just planning on saying it to ease the other man, but he realized that he actually meant it. It made him smile. He’s grown so much in the past eleven months, since Mikey’s death, that he could hardly believe it. If you’d told him before that he’d lose his brother to suicide and then make peace and have a boyfriend within nine months of that, he’d probably have punched you in the face.

As he approached the Ieros’ front door, he walked right in without knocking and the family greeted him. Linda was busy around the kitchen while John was holding onto Helena and watching Linda with a fond gaze. He’d hoped that he and Frank could be like that one day. Frank ran downstairs and threw his arms around his boyfriend, planting a big kiss on his lips, causing Gerard to blush. He’d never get used to that, and that was something he liked.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Gerard!” Frank exclaimed happily, smiling up so brightly at him. Gerard gave his forehead a kiss.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Frankie,” he returned. “Hi, John, Linda, Little Helena,” he greeted.

“Hey, how’s Thanksgiving so far?” John asked.

“Better now that I’m here. My parents left to Maine already,” he informed them.

“We’re happy that you’re going to be with us today!” Linda beamed, waving a carving fork at him. “And while Frank is over there, be safe! Use protection,” she said. Gerard’s face instantly heated up and he moved far away from his boyfriend, babbling.

“I, we, it’s not, I mean, not that I don’t, it’s just, well,” and then he stopped talking and opted for covering his face, not even daring to look at any of them.

“Mama, you said you weren’t going to tease him about that!” Frank whined over his family’s laughter. “She’s just teasing, Gerard,” Frank explained, rubbing the older man’s bad soothingly. “Come on, we’ll go to the living room and watch television there.” He couldn’t form words and decided to just follow Frank and sit down, leaving the other adults to their laughing. After the two sat in silence for a while, Frank’s smaller hand in Gerard’s, Gerard decided to speak.

“Um, it’s not that I don’t want to, you know,” he said, never taking his eyes off of Home Alone.

“I know,” Frank answered. “I know you think about it just as much as I do,” he admitted. This managed to catch Gerard’s attention, causing him to look at his boyfriend.

“What?” He asked. Frank’s cheeks were slightly red and he was trying to keep from smiling but he couldn’t hide it.

“I think about sex with you as much as you think about sex with me. It’s just a normal thing,” Frank clarifies. Gerard blushes, but he’s glad Frank said that. Gerard moves his other hand up to Frank’s cheek and pulls him in for a kiss. He’s delighted that he can do that just about any time he wants to.

“I love you,” Gerard says, pulling away.

“I love you, too. Oh, can you take a picture with me? This is our first Thanksgiving together!” Frank asked cheerfully. Gerard nodded and smiled at Frank’s camera with his arms around his waist and his chin on Frank’s shoulder. Frank leaned his body against his and they both smiled before Frank snapped a couple of pictures on his phone. “I’ll send them to you later.”

“It’s gonna be my new wallpaper,” Gerard said shyly. He’d never been in a relationship before and it felt so weird to be saying cheesy things like that to other people, but since it was Frank, the words actually managed to come out like his mouth had a mind of its own. Maybe that’s because of his boyfriend though.

“Aw, you’re so cute!” Frank gushed, nudging him softly with his shoulder.

“Only for you would I say these things,” Gerard said, sticking his tongue out playfully.

“You’re so good to me,” Frank sighs contently. They continue watching the movie in the same position they took a picture in and Gerard is really enjoying his life right now, as is Frank. Once the movie is over, Gerard holds Frank a little tighter and places a kiss on his back of his neck.

“Frank?” He asks. Frank turns his head to the side to look back at Gerard, smiling.

“Yeah, babe?” Gerard blushes and his heart flutters. Frank Iero calls him that and he feels so proud.

“Will you come with me to the cemetery? I wanna go see Mikey,” he mumbled softly, averting his eyes from Frank’s

“Of course.” Frank moves off of the couch. “Mama!” He calls out, walking towards the kitchen. “Is it all right if I borrow the car? We’re heading to go see Mikey,” he asks. After John tosses them the keys and Linda warns them to be careful, they’re off.

*

They’re holding hands as they walk to Mikey’s plot. Gerard finds it easier walking along the path with Frank here. He could tell Frank is tense, though, and it concerns him.

“Are you okay?” He asks. Frank nods, letting out a small puff of air.

“My dad is buried here.” Gerard nods.

“Do you want to go see him? I’ll wait back here if you want,” he offers. Frank shakes his head and grips Gerard’s hand tighter as if he’s hanging on for his life. Maybe, Gerard thinks, he is.

“No, come with me. But after we see Mikey,” He says sternly. Gerard doesn’t take any offense to his tone, because he knows Frank is telling himself. It’s his way of convincing himself. He tends to do that a lot. Like that time in P.E he had to run the mile and Gerard watched as Frank pep talked himself all day. When he met Frank after the class period, he actually came in with the best time, and that’s when the shorter man told him that he used to run for miles every day as a coping mechanism, but hadn’t done it in a while, which was why he was so concerned about it in the first place.

Before long, they were standing in front of his brother’s grave, old plastic flowers dusted with dirt and weeds growing here and there. It looked like the family was still broken and hadn’t come in a while.

“Here’s my brother. He was a such an amazing kid and was always determined when he set his mind to anything. You would’ve loved him and I think he would’ve loved you, too,” Gerard said quietly. It was odd, Frank thought, that as soon as you stepped through cemetery gates, the air became suffocating with its own special silence and the tiniest whisper could be heard as a bang.

“I’m positive that I would’ve loved him,” Frank said back, leaning his head against Gerard’s shoulder and staring at the headstone atop the grave. It was a picture of Mikey smiling with his eyes closed tightly and all teeth showing. Gerard had mentioned to him that Mikey was a silly kid, and that it was one of the things he loved most about him. Frank knew he would’ve gotten along wonderfully with the other boy. And it saddened him that he’d never have that experience, and that Gerard was left an only child, but he decided that things like that shouldn’t be thought of anymore. Gerard was finally happy again, Ray and Bob were getting along fine and Frank was happy he had helped as much as he could have.

“All right. I’m ready,” Gerard said after a while. “I love you, Mikey.” And the two were off, down to a part of the property he’d never been through. After a while, they stopped in front of a patch of grass as high as their waists. He threw Frank a questioning glance.

“I haven’t come here since I was twelve,” Frank admitted.

“I’m sorry,” Gerard said quickly. “If I pressured you or anything,” he murmured, feeling guilty. Frank shook his head.

“No, I wanted to. But I wanted to come with you. The idea of coming alone never seemed appealing to me,” he explained, easing Gerard’s feelings. The two stood there, looking at the unkempt grass for a moment.

“I want to hate you, dad, but I can’t. So I won’t. I haven’t said this in years,” he paused. “But I love you.” Then he turned to Gerard and smiled. “I’m ready to go. I think mom is already done cooking.” They quietly walked back to the car, neither saying a word, almost afraid to break the comfortable silence. Rather than tell Frank he loved him again, he squeezed his hand briefly, causing the younger man to look up at him and smile his beautiful smile. The one he saved for Gerard.

When they got home, Gerard sat with his family eating a huge dinner and laughing at the Thanksgiving stories Linda and Frank were telling about their other family members. He wished his parents could be like this. But last Thanksgiving, they went away to Maine and Ray and Bob came over with leftovers from their dinners and sat with them as they ate. Then they’d watch Home Alone, just as he had with Frank. He found it hard to believe that by next Thanksgiving, he’d be in college and visiting Frank on his break. He couldn’t wait for that, but he also didn’t want to be away from his significant other.

Linda wrapped up a lot of the leftovers and handed the plates to Gerard while Frank was getting his things from upstairs.

“Thank you for the amazing dinner as always, Linda,” Gerard said. She gave him a tight hug and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you for being here. Take care of my baby, okay? Also, I was just teasing about that protection crap. Of course use it if it happens, but it was no pressure to you at all. You both are still so young,” she said, holding his face gently in her hands. He nodded and she stepped away just as Frank came back. He leaned up and gave her cheek a kiss.

“I’ll see you Monday after school, mama. I love you!” She gave him a kiss back and they walked back to Gerard’s in silence. They never talked much, he noticed. Even if Frank was sometimes prone to never shutting up, he was silent most of the time. They bonded through that type of communication. Just knowing. “It’s going to be so much fun having you all to myself the whole weekend!” Frank exclaims as they come to a stop in front of the Gerard’s door.

“I’m excited, too! What do you wanna do first?” He asked, unlocking the door and stepping inside. Frank was hit with the scent of Gerard and it relaxed him as if he literally had no other worries in the world. It was amazing to him how a scent of someone you loved with everything you had could do that to you.

“I wanna go to bed actually,” Frank yawned as he put his bag of clothes and movies down by the door. Gerard chuckled, rolling his eyes and hugging Frank close to him.

“Sounds good. But we just ate. Shouldn’t we wait a moment?” He asked.

“Well, we could sit in bed cuddling until we can’t hold our eyes open anymore,” Frank suggested.

“Okay. Cuddling is good.” Gerard grabbed his hand and led him up to his room where they undressed to their boxers and sat in the bed, Gerard’s arms around Frank. “This is nice,” Gerard commented. There was no sound other than their breathing and the central air. Frank nodded.

“Any time I get to spend with you is the highlight of my day,” Frank whispers back, and then turns his head to kiss Gerard. He pulls Frank closer, his hand on his cheek and the other wrapping tightly around his waist. Frank leaned over him, pushing his back to the bed and slipping his tongue into his mouth, causing Gerard to let out a soft moan. They kissed heatedly with tongue and the soft grinding of their hips until Frank pulled away, lying next to him with his head on Gerard’s chest. Both men were aroused, but neither ready to go any step further.

It was fine like this, they both thought, they had plenty of time. And sex didn’t define a relationship. They fell asleep shortly afterwards, finally happy with how things were.

Notes

Some relationship fluff for everyone to make up for all the shit I put them through! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I enjoyed writing some cute stuff for you all <3

Leave me some feedback and let me know how I'm doing? It'd mean the world to me!
** Rate, subscribe, and comment if you haven't? I'll send you some massive virtual hugs! <3

Also, a couple of days ago, a legend passed. Gene Wilder was great, best known for Willy Wonka, but also for Mel Brooks' movies such as Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstien (a personal favorite). And although it is sad, I did hear that he passed on listening to his favorite song: Over the Rainbow. It made me feel really good inside, that one day I can also find my myself way up high, just as Gene Wilder did.

"Nowhere special, huh? I've always wanted to go there."

Much love
-OAIF <3