Kill All Your Friends

“Hey, Gerard!” Frank greeted him early in the morning. He’d been on his way to school, walking as usual, when he spotted the boy with blood red hair. Gerard jumped in surprise slightly and turned around. Once he saw it was the annoyance that had recently entered his life, he sighed and turned back to his book.

“So what book are you reading?” Frank tried making conversation.

No answer.

“Oh, you’re wearing a band tee! What band is that?” He asked, trying to get a better look. He’d seen Green Day, but he wanted some type of response.

No answer.

Frank sighed and looked up at the sky. It was gray and seemed like it was going to rain. By the end of school, it should be pouring, Frank concluded. He didn’t mind the weather, because he really liked rain. He didn’t mind walking home even though he were going to get soaked and possibly really sick because he had a shit immune system.

“Oh, look, you can see the school!” Frank exclaimed. Gerard internally rolled his eyes as he continued reading this book. It was getting really good and he wasn’t going to let that waist-high kid ruin the climax! Being a bookworm, he was able to maneuver through crowds without looking up from his book. It’s a skill you learn. After Mikey had gone away, he’d dove inside any book he could lay his hands on, starting with Crime and Punishment. It was a personal favorite of his. He’d read it the same day he’d found Mikey. He pushed those thoughts out of his head and shut his book, shoving it into his backpack.

“See you after class, Gerard!” Frank yelled as Gerard walked ahead of him and away. The rest of the day consisted of the same routine that had been going on for the last couple of days: Frank trying to get Gerard’s attention.

“Gerard!” He walked past him, slightly bumping his shoulder into Frank’s as if telling him to get lost.

“Hey there, Ger-!” He plugged in his earphones, blocking out the rest of his sentence, and glared at the younger boy, but only received an excited smile in return. He rolled his eyes and kept walking.

“Hey, what are you reading?” Frank asked. He received no answer like he expected and instead peered at the title of the book.

“’Beautiful Creatures’?” He read aloud. He stifled a laugh earning a glare from Gerard.

“No, I’m totally not making fun of you! I’m just surprised that you’re just barely reading it. I read it about a few years ago. Which reminds me, the fourth one just came out, so I need to go buy it. Wanna come with?!” He exclaimed. Gerard looked shocked and then looked down at the book, then back up at Frank as if to ask ‘there’s more?’ causing Frank to giggle.

“Yeah. Those authors, like, work really well together so they made three more. The second one is almost as good as the first one, but still not quite there. Now, the third one,” Frank paused, “that one is a bit hard to get into. It honestly took me until half the book to get into it, but after that, it was amazing!”

Gerard would never admit this to the boy sitting next to him going on and on and then apologizing if he gave away any spoilers, but he probably saved his life that day. He probably would’ve ended up like Mikey. His heart clenched. He suddenly felt guilty about being a little bit happy, and pushed the small bit of happiness away. He didn’t deserve to be happy while his brother was rotting in the ground.

Frank noticed Gerard was into the conversation, but then noticed how quickly his attitude changed. Like he just remembered something, and then completely distanced himself. For the rest of the lunch period, he was ignored. Gerard had shoved the book, almost angrily, into his bag and pulled out his cell phone and started playing a game on it. Once the bell rang, he got up with no hesitation and walked away. Frank sighed and went to his own classroom. The rest of the day was the same. Gerard ignored him with music, a book, or just completely, but before last period, Frank was coming up to Gerard to say hello and before he opened his mouth, Gerard raised his hand in a 'stop' sign and just shook his head, telling him no. Frank giggled at how predictable he was becoming.

Finally, the last bell came and he managed to find Gerard sitting under the tree he always did at lunch.

“Hey, aren’t you going home?” Frank asked him.

No answer.

“Well, um, mind if I hang out here with you for a bit. I know I probably talk too much, but-“ then Gerard interrupted him.

“Why are you doing this?” Gerard asked. Frank stood there in shock for a moment, unable to say a word. His voice sounded so smooth. It was a weird thought, but Frank really wanted Gerard to read him a book. Any book. It could be Green Eggs and ham and he would be delighted. He snapped out of his thoughts as Gerard stood up.

“U-uh, well, because no one deserves to be alone,” Frank answered confidently.

“I wish you’d been here for Mikey,” was all Gerard said, expressionless. Then he walked away. And Frank was right, it was pouring.

He walked home slower than usual, really letting the rain soak him to his bones. He thought about Gerard and Mikey and how close they must have been. He imagined them staying up late, if not all night together, playing games, watching movies, or even having those deep conversations people always seemed to have late at night. He imagined them growing up together and always spending their time with one another. He imagined what it must have felt like to lose his best friend, someone he shared everything with, someone he was completely open with, someone who understood how he really was. Frank knew he could never replace his brother, but maybe he could make him smile again, maybe he could actually do something for the quiet boy that no one thought they could. He then thought about Bob and Ray and how they must have felt. After losing one friend, the other pushed them away and they’ve lost him to. Gerard seemed just as gone as Mikey was, the only difference was that Gerard was still here. Frank was an only child, so he could never fully understand what it meant to lose a sibling as close as those two were, but then, as if he had forgotten, he remembered his mother was pregnant with his baby sister.

Although he hadn’t met her yet, his eyes teared up at the thought of losing his unborn sister. He thought of never being able to see her grow up into a beautiful young lady. He thought to himself, ‘What if her life was taken away too soon?’ and then he suddenly knew how Gerard felt. The only difference was that Mikey had probably already set goals for himself, but he would never be able to reach them.

Gerard had probably watched over his little brother his whole life, and felt absolutely guilty that he hadn’t noticed anything before. After all, they shared everything.

Once Frank arrived home, his mother was standing in the living room holding up a towel for him. She had the biggest smile on her face as she rubbed her swollen stomach. Frank pushed passed the towel and dropped to his knees in front of his mother’s stomach. She gave him a concerned look, but then smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and snuggled his face against her stomach.

He smiled as he felt a slight ‘thump’ against his face.

Notes

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-OAIF <3