Three is a Crowd

She woke up wrapped in a pair of arms that were holding her tightly. Her mind was not fully alert yet, but her body curled into the embrace in order to gain more heat. She felt movement behind her and a drawn out sigh that let her know they were waking up. Her eyes were still too tired to open up, so she stayed in her foetal position and willed herself to fall back asleep. The pair of lips that kissed her shoulder had other ideas apparently, as she felt a hand travel from her hip to her shoulder before snaking its way to her bare breast. She let out a sound that was a mixture of a moan and a groan of annoyance. The chuckle she heard made her jolt in shock, as flashbacks instantly came back to her. She turned to face Andy, who had a lazy smile on his face. He looked like the cat that got the cream, which was as adorable as it frustrating.

‘Morning’ he greeted, his voice hoarse but still utterly sexy.

She hummed her response, closing her eyes to block out the shit eating grin on his face. He knew exactly what was going through her mind. He had successfully proved the point he had been trying to make not even twenty four hours ago. She had proved him right. If there was anything Amanda hated it was being proven wrong.

Andy’s hand distracted her from her thoughts as it leisurely trailed over her body, something she was helpless to fight against so early in the morning. She gave a whine of protest when it suddenly stopped, but she was quickly silenced by his lips when they captured her own in a rough kiss. He broke the kiss and began tailing his tongue down her neck, sucking and licking the pale skin. He didn’t pay attention to her neck for too long, instead he began a path down her stomach before parting her legs and placing a slow, torturous kiss on the inside of her thigh. She squirmed impatiently, her body was on fire and she was in no mood for teasing. She gasped loudly when he licked her clitoris, her hips moving on their own accord. His large hands gripped her hips and pinned them down while he continued his pleasurable assault. She was a writhing mess when he stopped without warning, forcing an indignant cry from her.

His body covered hers, and with a gentle kiss he entered her with a long, slow thrust. She loved the moan that escaped from him when their hips met. Her hands fisted his hair roughly, drawing out a low hiss from him. He thrust into her harder in response, making her cry out in pleasure. He continued with his hard, wild thrusts until she climaxed around him, tipping him over the edge as he came with a guttural moan. He rolled off her quivering body and lay down beside her as they tried to catch their breaths.

‘So, are we actually going to talk about what’s happening or are you going to pretend like this didn’t happen?’

She could hear the resentment in his voice; it was a tone that didn’t suit him. She had to stop herself from flinching at the bitterness; she knew that she deserved it. She opened her eyes and faced him, his shockingly blue eyes fixating on her as he waited for her answer.

‘I don’t know if I can give you what you want. I wish it was as simple as leaving Gerard and Frank, but it’s not. The truth is either way I’m going to have regrets and wonder what might have been. You deserve better than this Andy. You deserve better than me and we both know it. I’m too fucking selfish for you, I’d walk all over you the way you think Gerard walks over me. I can’t be the one who does that to you, I won’t. I can’t have it on my conscience. You’d hate me for it in the long run.’

‘You don’t get to be the one who decides what I deserve.’

She sighed angrily, frustration igniting in every nerve of her being as she stared down the stubborn man who looked at her unflinchingly with determination. She wondered what it would take to make him realise the horrible person she was deep down. Would it take a few hurtful words, or would it take something more drastic to make him view her the way she saw herself. She sat up sharply, covering herself with the duvet while fixing her hard eyes on his pale face.

‘Fine, then maybe this will help you decide. I don’t love you. I never will. Maybe you’re a better person than Gerard, but you’re not him. I like your company and I like your friendship but that’s all. You’re clinging on to me in some vein hope that I’ll see the fucking light or something, and I’m sorry to break it to you kid but it’s not going to happen. This isn’t some chick flick where the girl chooses the nice guy in the end. This is real life, and in real life girls like me are gluttons for punishment. We choose the assholes, because the assholes make our blood boil and our hearts race. They show us their soft side that they show nobody else, their hearts aren’t worn on their sleeves for everyone to see. It’s why we feel special when we get a glimpse of it, because it’s for our eyes only. We see the potential that nobody else sees. I don’t want a nice guy Andy.’

His eyes showed the hurt and anger he felt at her words. She could see that she had wounded him, and she hated herself for it. But in her heart she knew it was the right thing to do. She wasn’t lying she told him he deserved better. He was too good for her. She just hoped that she had done sufficient damage to keep him away from her. She wanted him to hate her. It took the choice out of her hands, and once it was gone she would be content again. She was certain of it. He gave her a short, bitter laugh that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He threw the duvet off his body with a harsh shove before quickly gathering his scattered clothes and throwing them on with angry impatience. Amanda kept her neutral mask on, determined to let him think the worst of her. She didn’t want him to know how much it devastated her to hurt him. He stormed towards the bedroom door before he turned on his heel at the doorway and looked at her with emotionless eyes.

‘Do you know why guys become assholes? It’s because of women like you. They say behind every great man is a great woman but behind every destroyed, heartless man there’s a woman who dug the blade in between his shoulder blades. Don’t come crying to me when he destroys you.’

He watched her as her face crumbled, his harsh hurtful words having the desired effect as tears began to fall down her cheeks. Even in his anger though, he couldn’t hide the regret he felt as he watched her fall apart. In spite of himself he felt his heart break a little at the thought of wounding her, even if it was justified.

‘I’m not going to wait around forever Amanda. I want you, but fuck I’m not going to be one of those pathetic guys who pine after someone who doesn’t want them. One day you’ll look back and regret letting me go. Hopefully it’ll be sooner rather than later, because I’ll be fine eventually and I’ll move on after a while. In the long run it’s you who’s going to live with the regret, not me.’

He looked into her glassy eyes, making sure she heard and understood what he said. He nodded to himself, and walked out the door and out of her apartment. Amanda let out a shaking breath which turned into a loud sob, her quivering hand clasped over her mouth in an effort to subdue the noise and maybe ease her guilty conscience. She curled up on the bed, wrapped in the blankets and let the cries fall until she fell back into an exhausted sleep.

Notes

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sexy times, because we all love a bit of smut :)

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