Three is a Crowd

‘You’re an asshole!’

The low volume of the spoken words did nothing to disguise the venom behind them. The hushed voices could be heard through the closed door as Amanda shamelessly listened from outside.

‘I didn’t do it out of spite Frank. I wasn’t thinking, okay?’

‘That’s no excuse Gerard. No wonder she was so upset, you insensitive prick.’

‘I know I fucked up, you don’t need to remind me. Shit!’ he cursed in anger.

It was the night before the men were due to go away. Gerard had been keeping it as a surprise for Frank for one of their anniversaries. She didn’t want to know what kind of anniversary they were celebrating. She had tried to keep her hurt feelings under wraps, and succeeded for the most part. Gerard could still tell she was upset if his attempts to be nicer to her were anything to go by. She refused to give in though, holding her own against those impossibly irresistible puppy dog eyes. When Gerard had told Frank over dinner about his ‘surprise’ Frank’s face had lit up instantly with excitement until he glanced at Amanda. He had seemingly put two and two together in that moment and his face fell with a look of sadness, disappointment and slight anger. He had excused himself and asked Gerard to follow him. Amanda had waited before her curiosity overruled her manners and she followed them out. She had heard the voices come from the living room, which was closed. Even though she knew it was wrong she listened in to catch the tail end of the conversation.

She heard a sigh which was an equal mixture of frustration and sympathy. She guessed that it was Frank who let it out and she heard a ruffling of clothes that suggested the two men were hugging.

‘I was trying to surprise you for our anniversary, fuck I didn’t think about how Amanda would take it.’

‘Maybe we should cancel it’ she heard Frank’s calm voice soothe. She could picture him rubbing Gerard’s back in those slow, teasing motions he always used.

‘I think you’re right.’

Amanda’s hurt pride gave way slightly to an uneasy feeling of guilt. She was letting her emotions ruin Gerard and Frank’s happiness which was the last thing she wanted. She was hurting Frank who was just as much a victim of Gerard’s selfishness and thoughtlessness as she was. Her pride wanted her to not give in and disrupt Gerard’s plans, make him realise she was a human being with feelings. Her head was telling her to be the bigger person and let it go. She could make her point later in a more effective way that wouldn’t hurt Frank.

She withdrew from her eavesdropping position outside the door and left the house, needing to leave the tense atmosphere in order to put her thoughts in order. She was thankful that the sun was still out in its evening glory, eliminating her need to get a coat as she left the house without her bag or phone. She didn’t plan on being gone for too long, the park was sufficient for her needs and was less than ten minutes on foot. She walked the path with determined swift strides that brought her to her destination quicker than anticipated. She slowed down when she entered the park which was busier than she had expected at this time in the evening. She could see parents with their children in the playground set in the heart of the park. The laughter of the children rang loud in her ears as she found herself acutely aware of their presence. She sat down on an empty bench that was facing the playground. She was drawn to the picture of happiness and parental pride, the scattering of mothers and fathers gazed at their children with watchful eyes. The children played without a care, ignoring their parents and running amuck with abandon. She felt an ache begin to throb in her chest as she watched with fascination. She had never thought about children and if she wanted them. She was just finished college and had only recently turned twenty five so she hadn’t had the time or the inclination to put much thought into whether she saw having children as being a part of her future, until now.

The pain in her heart told her that she wanted them, more than she wanted to admit to herself. She sighed loudly and bit her lip, wishing the ache would go away. She knew that as long as she stayed with Gerard and Frank she would never know the joy of being a mother. How could she bring a child into such a dysfunctional relationship, making them a source of ridicule among their school peers who would certainly make a point of being cruel, as children so often did. She wondered if Gerard even wanted children, or Frank for that matter. They had been together for years and seemed content with their alternative lifestyle, so she presumed that children were out of the question for them. Could she ever be happy with that? Would her love for Gerard, and connection with Frank, be enough to keep the burning desire of motherhood away? She shook her head at her own thoughts, knowing that thinking about issues like children was futile and would lead to disappointment. Plus the fact that it was way too soon to even be thinking along those lines. It was a bridge she would have to cross when the time came, whenever that would be.

She forced her mind to go back to the topic that was most pressing to. She knew her anger was justified but it was no reason to take it out on Gerard and Frank. From the conversation she overheard Gerard had felt bad about it, maybe that should be enough to appease her anger. Preventing Gerard and Frank from spending time together wasn’t the answer to rectifying the situation in any case, it would only cause more hurt feelings and resentment which was the last thing any of them needed. She knew the right thing to do was to let it go and move on, as much as she hated the idea of having to be the better person like she always did. Making up her mind, she got up from her spot and decided to make her way back home and put the two men out of their misery.

*****

She had made the decision not to stay at home and mope, instead opting to meet up with her friends Mariana and Sophie, whom she had neglecting appallingly over the last couple of months. The plan of action for the night was simple: get hammered and have fun. She found herself looking forward to the night out, not realising just how much she missed her friends and the endless fun they used to have. They had decided on going to some small gig in a local bar rather than going out to a nightclub where they would be forced to endure long queues for drinks and limited conversation due to the obnoxious music. They had a bottle of wine at her apartment before they entered the bar, loosening them up and making them giggle as they found a table close to the stage. They settled at the table joyfully, laughing and gossiping while sipping on their cocktails which Marianna had insisted was ‘to die for!’. Amanda didn’t care as long as it had alcohol and they waited patiently for the gig to begin. The first band came on, interrupting their conversation as their attention became focused on the stage. They were good at pleasing the crowd while warming them up for the next group who were the headliners. The headlining act was the reason they had chosen to come to the bar, all of them had heard of the band who were beginning to make a name for themselves locally. Curiosity had helped them decide to go see them and judge for themselves if they were as good as their reputation would make them believe.

The conversation had started up again when the support act finished with a round of applause, the three girls focused on each other again as the headliners set up their equipment. There was the buzzing sound of low conversation going on around them as they talked about everything and nothing. Amanda wanted to tell her friends about Gerard and Frank but she knew how they would react. They would tell her to leave and find another guy who would be better for her. They wouldn’t listen if she explained to them that there was no other guy for her, at least not one that she wanted heart, body and soul.

‘I’m beginning to think I have a stalker.’

The deep voice made her jump, almost spilling her cocktail as she turned around in her seat sharply. She was met with a familiar pair of blue eyes and a wide grin that she couldn’t help but return.

‘Andy!’ She pulled him into a hug without thinking, ignoring the flip in her stomach as she inhaled his cologne.

‘Short shit!’ he teased, earning a punch from Amanda which he didn’t seem to feel.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘My band’s playing tonight.’

‘Awesome, I’ve heard great things about you guys.’

‘And I swear none of them are true.’

Her laugh was interrupted by a sharp kick to her shin, drawing her attention away from Andy and back to her friends who were staring at her with expectation.

‘Oh, Andy this is Mariana and Sophie. Girls this is Andy.’

The girls gave him a smile which seemed innocent. Amanda knew that underneath the smiles they were secretly judging him and whether they would screw him or not. While both girls were in relationships it didn’t stop their eyes from wondering. Amanda could feel the jealousy begin to flare up as she took another sip, hoping that more alcohol would help the jealousy simmer down. She had no right to be jealous anyway, he wasn’t her boyfriend and never would be.

‘Nice you meet you ladies’ he said with a nod before focusing on Amanda again. ‘I better go back on stage, I’ll see you after the show?’

It came out as a hopeful question, as though he really wanted to see her. She knew she was blushing at the attention he was giving her.

‘Absolutely!’

‘Alright then, enjoy the show ladies.’ With that he parted from them. Amanda braced herself for the barrage of questions she would be assaulted with.

‘So….Andy huh?’

This was the calm before the storm as Mariana took a calculated sip from her drink while she waited for an answer.

‘Uh…he’s a friend of a friend; he’s a barman in a small bar about twenty minutes from here. He’s nice.’

She knew her evasiveness was futile but she hoped by some miracle her friends would drop the topic.

‘Spill the beans woman.’

‘There’s nothing to spill Mariana. He’s a nice guy who has a girlfriend. That’s it.’ She explained in frustration.

‘I’m not buying it. He doesn’t look at you like he’s madly in love with someone else. He likes you.’

‘No way. He’s just being friendly is all.’

‘Sure…you keep telling yourself that pet.’

The band started to play before Amanda could refute the claim, leaving her fuming at the smug look on Mariana’s face.

They watched the band with fevered interest as Andy took the microphone and gave the audience a face to focus on while the guitarists and drummer did their thing. Amanda couldn’t tear her eyes away as she followed every move Andy made, occasionally meeting his eyes and drawing a small smile from his lips before he looked away. They played for more than an hour with a mixture of original songs and a few covers. She was enthralled by his voice, which was deep and melodic. She could see herself listening to the voice on the radio or on her IPod; they certainly seemed to have the passion on stage to make it happen.

When they finally finished up she watched them leave the stage and make their way to the bar before giving her attention back to her friends. She saw them watch her with conspiratorial looks on their faces. She hated that face, it never lead to anything good.

‘What?’ she questioned with nervousness.

‘Oh nothing.’ Sophie responded quickly, too quickly for it to be nothing.

Amanda raised an eyebrow.

‘Don’t give me that crap, you two are planning something. Tell me.’

‘Us, planning something? Really Amanda, you need to stop thinking so much.’

She almost growled in frustration, genuinely fearing the plan the two woman in front of her were concocting.

‘Any room for more?’

Andy was by her side, with one of his band mates. They both held numerous drinks in their large hands. The girls shifted their chairs to create more space while Andy and his friend found chairs that were vacant at the neighbouring tables. When they returned Andy sat beside Amanda while his friend sat on Andy’s other side.

‘Girls this is Matthew. He’s the main guitarist in the band.’ Andy introduced as the girls took turns to shake his hand and introduced themselves. After that the conversation flowed fluidly. Matthew seemed to be quite taken with Sophie, who was the main focus of his attention for the night. Mariana kept her eyes on Andy with a mischievous glint as though she knew a secret the rest of them were oblivious too. Amanda ignored it, knowing there was nothing she could do if Mariana was determined to wreak some kind of havoc.

‘So Andy, a handsome guy like you must have a girlfriend. Why isn’t she here?’

Amanda wanted to kick Mariana, or better yet wring her neck. She threw her friend her most threatening look which Mariana blatantly ignored.

‘I just broke up with someone actually, so no girlfriend at the moment.’

‘Oh, sorry to hear that’ Mariana’s voice was filled with insincere sympathy.

‘Shit Andy, I’m sorry to hear that.’ Amanda said in a low voice, patting his arm in sympathy.

‘It’s no big deal. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out I suppose.’

Amanda nodded in understanding, having been in Andy’s position a few times. Even though he was making light of the situation she knew he was still hurting.

‘Anyway, what did you guys think of the show?’ he changed the topic, clearly trying to avoid talking about his personal life. They all went along with it to avoid the atmosphere becoming awkward.

At some point during the night the group had seemed to break down into two, with Amanda and Andy entertaining each other and Mariana, Sophie and Matthew deep in conversation about movies. Amanda and Andy were equally deep in conversation, so much so that they hadn’t noticed the girls and Matthew slip out unnoticed until last call was announced with a loud yell from the barman.

‘Shit, I can’t believe those bitches left me.’ Amanda gave out as they finished their drink, checking her phone in case they sent her a message. Her screen lit up, informing her Mariana had sent her a text.

You can thank me tomorrow. I wanna hear all the details tomorrow. Enjoy!

She wanted to curse at her friends for abandoning her under some false illusion that her and Andy would get together. She had Gerard and Frank; she wouldn’t betray them like that.

It’s not as though you’re exclusive though.

The thought came to her with a jolt, making her gasp inaudibly at her own mind. It was true that they never agreed on being exclusive but it had been implied surely. She thought about all the conversations they had about their relationship and couldn’t remember it ever been brought up or eluded to. Could they really be angry if she did?

‘Are you okay?’

Andy’s voice pulled her back to reality and away from her dangerous train of thought. Even if she could justify it to herself she knew Andy didn’t think of her that way. He was an affectionate guy and overly friendly. That didn’t amount to attraction or desire by any means.

‘I’m good. I think I’m drunker than I realised. I’m gonna walk home I think.’

‘I’ll walk with you. You shouldn’t be walking home alone especially late at night.’

She shrugged.

‘I’ve done it before, nothing’s ever happened.’

‘There’s a first time for everything’ he grumbled with thinly veiled anger.

She dropped the line of conversation, knowing it would only anger him. He seemed to think she was incapable of looking after herself which was far from the truth. She enjoyed his concern though; it felt nice to know he cared about her enough to worry about her.

They left the bar, stumbling as they made their way down the road. They pushed and shoved each other as they laughed loudly at their behaviour, earning more than a few annoyed stares. At some point she jumped on Andy’s back, making him give her a piggy back ride the rest of the way home. He carried her up the steps that lead to the door of her apartment building. He let her down gently, which wasn’t enough to prevent Amanda from stumbling before she steadied herself on her feet. In a flash he had turned to face her and grabbed her, keeping her upright and helping her avoid face planting the ground. When she stood still she looked at him properly, their eyes meeting. Amanda became acutely aware of his strong grip, the smell of his cologne as it mixed with the alcohol and just how bright blue his eyes were. She felt breathless as she stared at him, the alcohol making her forget her sense of propriety as she took the sight of him in, He gazed back at her, his eyes intense as he continued to hold her.

She couldn’t speak, not wanting to break the spell of the moment. She didn’t stop him when he bent down to capture her lips. She eagerly responded, opening her mouth without hesitation when he licked her lip asking her entrance. She pushed her body flushed into him as his grip in her arms tightened painfully, heightening her senses and causing her to moan.

He pulled away far too quickly for her liking, the two of them panting as they tried to catch their breaths.

‘Would you like to come up?’ her brain was on autopilot as the words came out without any thought or care for the consequences. His slow smile was all the response she needed, her body trembling with anticipation and desire as she gripped his hand and led him inside.

Notes

Hi all,

Did anyone see that coming? :D

Also, out of pure curiosity, what pairing are people hoping for at the end of this? I already have the ending planned but I'd like to know what you, my lovely readers, would like to see happening.

As always, please comment and let me know what you're thinking. I really hoped you enjoyed. Until next time :)