Thantophobia

Mikey was running. His lungs were burning from the cold air that lingered in the cold night, his feet crunching in the half melted snow. His plan was to get home, throw Gerard in the car, and explain everything on the drive to the hospital.

Mikey was Frank's emergency number, due the fact that, in all honesty, Frank's family wasn't fond of him and wouldn't necessarily do anything if he wound up in the hospital unless it was life threatening. This was life threatening. But it was up to Mikey to be there for Frank, it'd been that way since fifth grade. From what Mikey had been told, Frank was breathing but barely. He wasn't responsive and slipping into a coma. A fucking coma, Mikey thought as he ran onto his porch. Of all things, a fucking coma?

Mikey burst the door of the Way residence open, calling out Gerard's name as loud as he could while scurrying around the somewhat large house. "Gerard?" Mikey yelled again and again. Relief washed over him when his vampire looking brother stepped out of the hallway, giving him a tired and annoyed look.

"What the fuck Mikes it's one in the morning-"

"Shut up." Mikey spat, "Get in the fucking car and don't ask questions."

"What the hell is going on-are you crying?" Gerard was beyond confused. Mornings didn't mix well with him, especially if it was literally six hour before the fucking sun was supposed to come up.

"You know what?" Mikey hissed, "I am. Now get the fuck outside and get in the car before I come over there and carry your ass and put you in the trunk." Gerard didn't question his meek brother anymore and did as he was told. He didn't know what was going on, he was scared. His mind wandered across the worst possible situations as he climbed into the passenger seat of Mikey's worn down Ford truck.Mikey followed him, slamming the car door as hard as he could and jabbing the keys harshly into the ignition. "Don't fucking tell Mom I drove without a license." Gerard nodded. He'd never seen Mikey this verbal, or expressive. It was scary. His brother wasn't the most emotional person but whatever was causing him to act like this, it must've been bad.

"What the hell is happening?" Gerard asked. He gripped onto the arm rest of his seat. Mikey wasn't the best driver. Mikey let out a deep, shaky breath. He combed his long fingers through his blonde hair and opened his mouth, startled at the fact that he couldn't get words out. "Mikey," Gerard said again

."Just shut the fuck up for a second and let me think." Mikey shot at him. He squinted and tried to read the road signs that were barely illuminated by the moonlight of the New Jersey night sky. Gerard went quiet. The roads were silent with the absence of cars. It was eerie which made Gerard even more anxious about the whole situation.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Mikey said softly. Gerard knew he was crying, no matter how hard he was trying to hide it. It hurt his heart, he hated seeing his brother upset, they had the sibling bond where they could feel each other's pain. "It's okay." Gerard told him calmly. They both didn't say anything. Mikey drove faster, probably going way over the speed limit, Gerard noticed.

Gerard opened his mouth slowly "Can I just...know what's going on?"

"I need you to stay calm." Mikey said with a sniff. Gerard nodded lightly, his pupils dilated. "I'm going to be blunt with you, okay? I'm not giving you that 'there's been an accident' bullshit-"

"Is it mom and dad?"

"No." Mikey reached around the cup holder and handed Gerard some tissues, "Lindsey and Frank got in a car accident. A truck hit the side of their car and they skidded into a ditch." Gerard gripped the tissues in his hands, not fully understanding what his little brother had just told him. "Are they ...okay? Do you know h-how bad i-it was?"

"From what the hospital told me, all I know is that Lindsey is in some serious shock."

"And Frank?"

"I-i'm sorry Gee-"

"Is he fucking dead?" Gerard cried out, his face crumpling.

"What? Fuck! No. Gee," Mikey sputtered. "His arm was pinned against the door...a-and his head hit the dashboard pretty...pretty hard."

Gerard hesitated, tears tempting to drip from his eyes, "So...he's okay...right?"

"He's unresponsive." Mikey said sheepishly. "But breathing." Gerard felt somewhat relieved but completely devastated.

"Oh, fuck." He choked out as he let silent tears break from his eyes. Mikey patted his brothers knee affectionately as he swiftly pulled into the hospital parking lot. The brothers raced out of the car, hand in hand looking rather odd with Gerard still being in his pajamas. Mikey rushed to the front desk and dropped Gee's hand, "Frank Iero? I'm his emergency number? Where the fuck is he?" He rushed his words out at the receptionist.The lady gave a Mikey a certain look and typed away on her computer.

"Fourth floor. ICU." She said, handing him a pass. "Who's that? Family?" She questioned and pointed her pen at Gerard.

Mikey glanced over at his brother who was looking around nervously, "Boyfriend of the ICU kid."

"He has to stay in the waiting room. I'm sorry but only spouses and immediate family are allowed to that floor." She replied. She didn't sound very apologetic. Mikey leaned over the desk, "That's fucking bullshit!"

"Mikey, just go." Gerard yelled with his voice cracking harshly. Mikey looked at him sadly before hugging him tightly and rushing over to the elevator. Gerard stood there, sobbing his eyes out. He looked over at the receptionist lady and gave her the bird, then sat down in one of the cheap cushioned chairs that was aligned against the white wall of the hospital lobby.

Gerard sat there, his whole body shaking as he watched people come and go through the lobby. He wanted Frankie, he wanted to see his baby, the person he was in love with. This was probably just a nightmare and Gerard was bound to wake up in a few seconds in Frank's arms. He even pinched himself, praying to God that he would just wake up. "This isn't real." It didn't work.

Mikey was scared out of his mind. He'd been standing outside of Frank's hospital room for about 15 minutes, waiting for the doctor to come out and give him the full detail. Between that time, a nurse had escorted Gerard up to the floor after a lot of begging and pleading. Mikey pulled his brother into a tight hug when he saw him walking through the hospital hallway, tears flooding from both of their eyes. Mikey held his brother, he could feel him shaking and loud sobs wracked through his body. "I can't lose him Mikey, I'll fucking die."

Mikey stroked his brothers sweaty hair which was hardly calming him down, but he was trying. They stayed like that until the doctor barged through the ICU doors. "Er, Michael Way?" The doctor asked Mikey as he pulled away from his still crying brother.

"I'm Dr. Ross." The man said and reached out to shake Mikey and Gee's hand. They all gave their proper greetings. Dr. Ross led them into a small room with a table and three chairs, gesturing for them to sit down. The room was bland, white, and nerve wracking. Gerard despised it. "Alright, so I understand that you're the two of few people that Frank has at the moment?" Dr. Ross sighed.

"Yea." Mikey nodded at the strangeish looking doctor. He was oddly handsome with brown hair and brown eyes with some paled out skin.

"Is Frank okay?" Gerard asked suddenly. He grabbed Mikey's hand tightly.

Dr. Ross looked back and forth between the both of them. "Good news or bad news first?"

"Good." the Way brothers answered in unison.

Dr. Ross picked his clipboard up and flipped a paper over. "Good news, no brain damage. Everything is okay in his head. We got him awake but he's in immense pain and i'd rather you guys wait until late morning to visit him. There was no internal bleeding, everything upstairs looks pretty good."

Mikey looked at Gerard, giving him a light smile at the good news. "Okay...bad?" Mikey said slowly.

"Bad, yes." Dr.Ross sighed and leaned forward on the table, giving them a sympathetic look. "His right arm was pinned between the passenger door and his seat that had moved forward. There was already damage to the hand, I believe. But when the firemen pried him out, the metal crushed down on his hand even more. There's been some nerve damage. It's looks pretty unfixable, which can result in a permanent tremor in his hand. We're trying the best we can."

"Fuck." Gerard sobbed out, letting his head fall into his hands. Mikey felt a tear fall down his face. He rubbed Gerard's back as he they cried, needing the contact from one another.

"I'm sorry." Dr. Ross whispered.

Gerard let his thoughts take over his head. Frank's right hand was going to be pretty much unusable. He wouldn't be able to play guitar anymore, he wouldn't be able to draw, write, cook play video games. He wouldn't be able to run his thumb over Gee's lips anymore without shaking, or push his hair out of his eyes. He wouldn't be able to rub circles into Gee's back as he fell asleep nervously because of a thunderstorm. Gerard's heart broke. His poor Frankie, his poor baby. How was he supposed to help? How was Frank going to react when he woke up and tried to use his hand?

"Are there surgeries to try and fix it?" Gerard sniffed.

"Yes," Dr. Ross said, "But they're very costly and don't work at times."

Mikey's eyes widened as he realized what Gerard was about to do. "That's fine. I can pay for them."
"Gerard no you can't what the fuck?" Mikey gasped.

"I'll use my college money, Mikey. Fixing him is worth more than a fucking career."

"Gerard you can't just-"

"Shut up."

"His parents should be paying for it Gee, this isn't right."

"Well do you fucking see his parents anywhere, Mikey? They obviously don't give a shit about his health so it's up to me." Gerard was yelling now, ultimately scaring his brother a little, "If the people who fucking created him won't take care of him, then I will. It's my money, I can do with it as I fucking please. Thank you."

"Okay." Dr. Ross said, "Let's go over things that can be done then crunch some numbers."

Gerard nodded. He just needed Frankie to be okay. For him. For them. .

Notes

can i have comments ik this is rlly bad but pls tell me how bad it is