My Angel

Frank's POV "Guys, we need to get him out of the bathroom," Brendon sighed, putting a cigarette to his lips. Ryan hadn't bugged him about it yet, but that's probably because Brendon's stressed out. "We need to get him to talk." "Does anyone know why he's upset?" Pete asked, sighing out and taking a sip of his water. "It's because he said that he loved me and I got shocked," I piped up, all eyes on me now. "He thought I didn't love him, and he wouldn't let me say anything once I was out of shock. I do love him. He just wouldn't give me a chance." "My god, I just wish he wasn't so stubborn," Patrick sighed, grabbing his phone and checking the time. "Yeah," Mikey agreed, cuddling up next to Pete. His black eye had already faded, but I think Patrick was considering giving him another one for rubbing it in Patrick's face that he has Pete and Patrick doesn't. "How long has he been in there again?" Bob chimed in, surprising everyone, because Bob is usually quiet. I checked the date on my phone: March 22nd. "Fifteen days," I answered, remembering it like it was yesterday. I stared at the background on my phone: Gerard and I, a collage of us. There was pictures of us kissing, smiling, hugging, everything. I sighed and pocketed my phone. "Oh," Bob said, picking up his phone and doing something. "It's my fault he won't come out," I sobbed, breaking down again. Ray came over to me and hugged me tight, comforting me. It felt nice. "No it isn't," Ray sighed, rubbing small circles on my back. "Don't blame yourself, Frankie, okay? It's not your fault." "He probably hates me now!" I cried, curling up next to Ray. I sobbed into his chest for about five minutes, before Bob spoke up. "Well, you love him, right?" Bob asked, putting away his phone. I nodded, looking at him like everything he was saying was gospel. "Then go tell him. Prove it to him." Why the fuck haven't I thought of that?! I nodded quickly before jumping up and running to the bathroom door. I knocked lightly on it. "Gerard," I said, sniffling a little. I wiped away my tears and knocked again. "Gerard, I- I wanted to tell you that... That I love you." Silence. No note either. "Gerard, please talk to me?" I tried again, knocking on the door once more. "Please? I love you. Please let me in." It then clicked in my head. I could pick the fucking lock! I ran back out into the living room, walking over to Lindsey. "Let me see your Bobbi pin," I said, holding out my hand. She looked at me, confused. "Just do it, please." She took it out of her hair and handed it to me. "Thank you." I ran back to the bathroom, sticking the pin in the lock. I fucked around with it until I finally got it unlocked. I opened the door. ... Oh my god. I didn't expect to see what was before my eyes: Gerard, pale as a ghost, lifeless, cold and stiff looking. Blood in the bathtub. Empty pill bottle on the floor beside the tub. Paper on the countertop. I stood there in shock for a moment, looking at the scene. Tears began rolling down my cheeks. I ran over to him, pulling him up a little, and I leaning into the tub, clutching his cold, skinny, lifeless body. I began to sob hard. I petted his hair, sobbing into his neck. I sobbed loudly, causing someone to call my name. I didn't respond to them. I only held Gerard, my dead boyfriend. "Frank?" I heard someone call again, the voice belonging to Ray. I ignored him. I only focused on Gerard. "Frank, what's going-" And then he was in the doorway. "Oh my god. Donna!!" Donna bolted into the bathroom as if her life depended on it, perhaps thinking Gerard had finally spoken. Sadly though, that was not the case, at all. "OH MY GOD!!" She sobbed, dropping to her knees on the floor. The rest then ran into the hallway, and some ran into the bathroom. One of them were Mikey. "GERARD!!!" Mikey screamed, with Pete holding him back. Mikey's screams became sobs against Pete's chest. Everyone was crying. I only held Gerard and let the rest of them cry or whatever the fuck they did. Patrick pulled out his phone and dialled 911. "M- my friend just committed suicide..." He said into the phone, making me sob even harder when I heard it out loud. He tells the person the address and hangs up. "F- Frank," Ray began, walking over to me and putting a hand on my shoulder. "Let him go..." "NO!!" I screamed, pushing him away. Ray looked at me apologetically, and backed away. "There's some notes," Pete breathed, crying a little and sniffling, but not sobbing. Ray picked up the first note and read it aloud. There was more sobbing and everything when he finished. "Frank, this other one's for you," Ray gulped, handing me the note. I put it in my pocket to read later so I could hold my dead boyfriend. "I love you," I whispered into Gerard's ear, before adding a heartbreaking, "Why?" - The cops and the ambulance arrived quickly and they had to take Gerard away from me, but I didn't let them do it easily. Oh no. I fought. But they took him anyway. As I sat alone, I read the note Gerard left me. It broke my heart. No, it shattered my heart. I could have saved him. Do you want to know how to save a life? How I could have saved his? If I told him I loved him. If only I'd told him two weeks ago- fifteen days ago. Had I known, I would have. I wouldn't have let him cut me off and jump to conclusions. He misunderstood and didn't understand, so he ended his life. To be honest, I can feel him with me. I feel like he's still here with me, like I feel his presence. But then I look and he's not there. Maybe I'll go and talk to a therapist about it. - The funeral was dreadful. It was fucking sad and I hated it. But it was also beautiful. I cried the whole time, and the entire night afterwards. This was killing me. But Ray stayed with me all night, and so did Mikey and Jamia and Pete. And I think maybe even Donna did too. And maybe Gerard didn't realize how many people loved him and would miss him. And maybe the thought of him was breaking my heart all over again. He's fucking gone. He's dead and I'll never see him again. I just... I love him. And he didn't get to hear me say it. I didn't get to tell him. And I miss him. And I never got to tell him how happy he made me and how much I was thankful for him being in my life. And if I had, perhaps he could be here with me tonight, singing me to sleep. Like he said, he'll always be with me. In my dreams. In my heart. In my mind. And maybe that will keep me going. Gerard, I'm here without you, baby, but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight, it's only you and me. He's an angel. He always was. Always is. And always will be. I love Gerard Way, My Angel. -

Notes

There's an epilogue.