My Angel

Moving was rather difficult, since nobody wanted to pack and shit. February 14th seemed like a million years ago, but in reality it was only three weeks ago. So, March 7th. (a/n Lol that's my bro's birthday) And Frank and I haven't told anyone else, not even Mikey. We swore to keep our relationship a secret, which I don't understand why. I wouldn't mind getting punched in the face or called a 'fag' if it's for my Frankie. I'd die for him. And mom got a new fucking boyfriend. That's great. But the dude doesn't want to come and meet us for some reason. Which is good. I hope he stays away. And Mikey's dating Pete, who's still dating Patrick, I believe. Patrick doesn't know though, but I guess I'll have to tell him. He's my friend too. - Frank placed a sweet kiss to my lips, making me grin widely. We were in the back row of the movie theater so no one could see us, but there was not anyone there anyway. I guess everyone wanted to see it in 3D. "Hey Gee," Frank smiled, picking at his jeans a little with one hand. The other, he placed on my knee. I looked over to him. "Do you wanna...?" I blinked, staring at Frank with wide eyes and a blush that screamed 'oh dear god why do I love this weirdo?' And I wasn't quite sure on what to say. "Do I wanna what?" I asked, playing innocent. Frank just laughed at me, shaking his head. "What?" "You look really sexy," Frank purred, sliding his hand up to my thigh, making my breath hitch. He leaned over and placed a kiss on my neck. "So... Do you...?" "Not here," I sighed, running a hand through my hair. Frank sighed too. "W- we can't do it here. It's too public and we could get in a load of fucking trouble. And we don't even have anything we need." "Then where?" He asked, standing up and yanking me out of my seat. He dragged me out of the theater and outside. "There must be somewhere we can go..." I'd then remembered what Brendon had said to me before, in my dream, about the field and how Frank and I could go there and fuck when we wanted to, as long as they weren't there, of course. I texted Brendon really quick to see if he was there. Me: Bren are you and Ryan at the field? Bren: no why? And how did you know about that? Me: never mind that. I just wanted to know if I could take Frank there... Bren: oh I see. Okay. That's fine. ;) Me: thnks Bren. I pocketed my phone and grabbed Frank by his wrist, dragging him to the woods. "Where are we going?" He asked, but then I stopped outside a drugstore. I looked around and saw a familiar face, so I pulled out some money and handed it to Frank. "What's this for?" "Go get us the things we need," I told him, walking to the side of the building. "I'll be right back. Just give me a minute." He nodded and went inside. Once I turned the corner I saw Patrick. "Patrick, I'm so glad I found you," I said, sighing out of relief. "I need to tell you something." Mikey and Pete will hate me for this. "What?" He asked, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. I didn't know he smoked. "Pete's cheating on you," I blurted out, watching as Patrick's jaw dropped and he dropped his cigarette. "With my brother, who's cheating on Alicia." Patrick stomped out his cigarette, which was a total waste, but whatever. "I'm so sorry," I added, because I really was sorry for him, and Mikey and Pete both need to get their asses kicked. "I can't believe it," he breathed, blinking rapidly and staring off into space. "I need to confront him." "Punch that little punk ass mofo in the eye," I told him, chuckling a little, which made Patrick smile a little. "He's a slut, he deserves it." He nodded. I watched as he walked off. Frank came out of the store with everything we needed. I grabbed him by the wrist and we ran in the direction of the woods. - Once we reached the field, Frank grinned. "How did you know about this place?" He asked, sitting down in the middle of the field. "It's so cool." "Brendon told me," I half lied, because if I were to tell him I dreamt about it, he might think I'm insane. "He said we... We could fuck here anytime we wanted and-" Frank cut me off with a kiss to my lips, making me fall down into the grass. I giggled a little, gripping onto Frank's shirt and pulling him closer, if it was even possible. He kissed my neck gently and softly, straddling me a little. I released my grip on Frank's shirt and tilted my head back so he could reach more of my neck. He took off my shirt, before leaning back down to kiss my neck again. He kissed my neck softly again, making his way down to my collarbone. He kissed my collarbone a bit harder, before he began kissing down my chest. "Frank," I said softly, grabbing ahold of his shoulder. "Let's put the blanket down and lay on it. The grass is tickling my back." Frank giggled, then got off of me. I stood up and waited for him to put the blanket down. "There," he said, standing back up. I sat down on the blanket, only for Frank to straddle my thighs and push me down. He pinned my wrists over my head. "God, you're so pretty..." He mumbled, kissing my chest again, working his way up to my neck again. He barely brushed his lips against my neck before sitting up and taking off his shirt and discarding it. He tried to lean back down, but I stopped him with my hands. I ran my hands up his torso, making him scoot forward some so he was straddling my hips. He then grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head again. He kept them in one hand as he ran the other one down my torso. He kissed my lips, roughly, but passionately. He licked my bottom lip and I parted my lips, letting his tongue in to invade my mouth. After a minute or so, he pulled away, latching onto my neck and kissing some more. Then he began sucking. I moaned. "M- more," I begged, feeling him smirk against my skin. He let his free hand slide down my torso and down to my thigh. Then, ever so slowly, he slid his hand up to my crotch, palming me through my jeans. I gasped at the touch, but then it quickly turned into a moan. He sat up once more. "You like that, do you?" He asked, smirk still in tact on his face. I nodded quickly, bucking my hips upwards into his touch, which only make his smirk grow wider. "More, please," I begged, bucking my hips up again. "I love seeing you like this; all needy and desperate, and begging," Frank declared, undoing my belt and unzipping my pants, then sliding his hand inside of them and my boxers, letting it be skin on skin. I moaned loudly. "Oh honey," Frank began, stroking me and watching my expression change as he did so. "We haven't even started much at all yet. How much do you want me?" "I want you so much," I moaned, bucking my hips up once more, still not able to do anything with my hands, via Frank. "My god, I want you... I need you so much right now... Please, Frank... Please." "Please what?" I really wanted to slap him for that, but I threw that thought right out the window. A, because I was way too aroused, B, because Frank had his fucking hand around me, and C, he had my wrists pinned down. "Please... Fuck me," I moaned. I sounded whorish, dirty, and fucking needy, but I honestly didn't care one bit. Frank smirked again, before letting go of me and sliding my pants and boxers off, then his own. "Okay, now was that so hard?" He asked, pushing my legs apart and bending them. He then got himself ready. "No, unlike me," I whined, making Frank chuckle a little. I watched as he crawled in between my legs. "It's fucking throbbing so hard my head hurts." "I know," he said, lining himself up and pushing in just a little. I cried out loudly, grabbing onto the blanket. "What?" There was panic in his voice. "Y- you forgot to stretch me," I choked out, breathing heavily through the pain, and he wasn't even really inside of me yet. How pathetic am I? "Oh!" He exclaimed, smiling at me apologetically. He began to pull out of me, but I grabbed his wrist, trying to indicate for him to stop. He did, looking at me perplexedly. "Just go," I told him, taking a deep breath. "It'll be okay." He nodded, before slowly pushing all the way in. I groaned loudly as he did so. "Are you okay?" He asked, not moving yet. I nodded, exhaling. He nodded too, before kissing my lips gently. - I laid next to Frank, all curled up into a ball. We didn't have another blanket, so we had to redress ourselves almost directly after. "Frank," I said, sitting up and looking a him. He looked so peaceful; eyes closed, small smile on his face. He looked happy. He cracked open one eye. "Can I talk to you?" I then asked, which made him sit up and look at me, still smiling just a little. "Sure," he said, brushing hair out of his face. He looked so pretty right now, and I can do it. I can do it. "What's up?" "Frank," I began, gulping and looking down at my fingers. I then raised my gaze to meet his. My heart was beating so hard. I can do it. I can tell him. "Frank, I... I..." He looked at me, smiling still, just a little. For fuck's sake, I can fucking do this! I did it in my dream! I can do it now! "I love you." Frank's jaw dropped. He looked utterly speechless. "I..." Was all he managed to say. I looked away. This was a bad idea. "You don't love me," I said for him, before getting up and looking off in the direction of home. "I... I understand, I guess." "Gerard, I-" "Drop it, Frank," I interrupted, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "I said I understand. You don't love me. That's fine. I got it. Just leave it, okay?" "But Gerard, I-" "Fucking leave it!" I snapped, tears spilling from my eyes. Frank stood up, and began to wrap his arms around me, but I pushed him away. "Just... Don't." "Gerard, please listen to me," he began, but I wasn't having any of it. It was just gonna be another bullshit excuse or lie or something and I'm done with that shit. I shook my head. "Don't say anything. I know you don't love me. I know. I know things, remember? You don't love me, you don't even want me, do you? Don't say that you do, because I know better. Just leave it alone. It only makes it harder for me." I was about to breakdown and sob any moment. "But, fuck, Gerard, just-" "Stop, Frank!" I sobbed, taking off into the woods. I just ran away. Frank doesn't love me, and that's killing me inside. Frank is the only thing that I really live for anymore. Even Mikey could care less if I died. I know it. I know things, and I fucking wish I didn't. I know better than to believe otherwise. I ran home. It was the only thing I could do. No one was home, so I just locked myself in my bedroom. No one could bother me there. But fuck, I forgot this was Mikey's room too. Goddamn it. I instead locked myself in the bathroom. We had two, so honestly, they didn't even need to bother me at all. They could use the other bathroom. I fucking hate myself. I'll always fucking hate myself. Always. And I hate myself even more for letting myself fall in love with Frank when HE DOESN'T FUCKING LOVE ME. He never will. I might not even give him the chance to. -

Notes

Okay. Okay.