Live-in Nanny Wanted!

The first thing I did when I woke up, after only two hours asleep, was finally check the mail. Surprisingly, the girls didn’t fuss too much last night, but it was my own thoughts and worries that kept me up. I’m sure I looked like shit, but whatever, I didn’t have much to do anyways. Gerard wouldn’t be awake for another few hours and I wasn’t too sure about Mikey, but that wouldn’t be a problem. The girls were down and curled up between two pillows so they wouldn’t roll over and/or off the couch.

I sat down with the mail and flipped through it and it was oddly satisfying. Like, I wouldn’t mind doing just this for the rest of my life, I just wish my babies wouldn’t have to grow up. I look at my phone, checking the date and then bolted upright. I just remembered that I need to go out and pay bills, along with getting a new card for Gerard to use while I’m away, and then band practice to go over our set list for our first stop in New York. Leave it to me to forget shit like that.

I picked up my girls and took them to my room, and set them back in the crib before heading over to wake up Gerard. I knock on the door before walking inside.

“Gerard?” I call out. He’s, like, curled up in all of his blankets and from the clothing on the floor, the little shit was naked. I swallowed the saliva gathering in my mouth, fuck him for being so fucking tempting, and walk to his bedside. I shake him from the shoulder. “Gerard, I need to go do something, will you watch the twins?” I ask, still shaking him. He inhales almost sharply and sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It’s so fucking cute! I just wanna take a picture and, like, frame it or some shit.

“Hm?” He hums sleepily. I smile and take a step back after noticing how close we were.

“I need to go do some things in town, will you watch the girls?” I repeat. He finally opens his eyes and looks up at me with the goddamn smile that could stop my heart any moment and nods his head.

“Of course. Is Mikey awake?” He asks, pulling the blankets up to his chest, cheeks red. Aw, he’s embarrassed! I coo internally. I shake my head.

“He hasn’t come out, so I don’t think so. Thanks for watching them. I’m gonna get dressed and then I’m going to be heading out. I shouldn’t be more than an hour, okay?” He nods and I leave quickly so he can get ready. As I’m walking out of his room, I run into Mikey. He raises his brow.

“Did you sleep in Gerard’s room?” He asked, his voice sort of high with suspicion.

“Nope,” I say, smiling a bit. “I was waking him up to watch the girls while I went out and did some adult shit,” I explain, walking back towards my room. “I’ll make breakfast when I come back. Sound good?” I say, turning to him. He nods, still holding that certain I know look in his eyes, but I do my best to brush it off.

I close my door and quickly get dressed. Just a pair of blue jeans and a Beatles shirt because they’re my favorite and then my work boots. I don’t really know why I have work boots, but they’re comfortable, so fuck it. Just as I’m tying my shoe, there’s a knock on the door.

“Yeah?” I answer. The door opens as Gerard is standing there in his pajamas, hair wild, and eyes still sleepy. It’s sort of hot. I bite the inside of my cheek and stand up, grabbing my wallet, phone, the mail I need to turn in, the forms I need to make another account, and my keys. “I’ll help you take them down to the living room since they’re already awake. Thanks again,” I say. He smiles, walking over to the crib and peering down at them.

“It’s what I’m here for,” he answers picking up Cherry. I pick up Lily and we head downstairs, Mikey already flipping through channels. I love this kid. He’s so at home wherever he goes, and I like that. He isn’t afraid to be himself. “Mikey, at least keep your feet off the coffee table,” Gerard sighed.

“It’s okay,” I chuckle. “I do that, too. Well, I’ll be back as quick as possible, guys.” I hand Lily to Mikey after he watches me struggle on where to set her and makes grabby hands at her. They nod and say bye to me.

“Wait, so what are you gonna go do?” Gerard asked, head tilted to the side in wonder. Mikey sighs, rolling his eyes at his brother’s natural curiosity.

“I’m gonna go pay some bills and stop at the bank,” I answer, ruffling his hair softly. “Be good, okay?” I say to little Cherry in his arms. Gerard nods.

“I will,” he says softly. Mikey snorts.

“He was talking to his child, bro,” he laughs. His face turns red and he sends a glare at Mikey who give him a smirk. They’re great brothers. Being an only child, I never had this experience. Sure, I had friends who were like brothers, but late at night, when I needed someone to talk to, I couldn’t just walk to a room and find them there. It was kind of sad, but I got used to it eventually.

“Anyways, be back soon!” Then I leave the house and get in my car. Not that I don’t love my daughters or anything, but I absolutely miss listening to the music at a decent volume. I put on a Nine Inch Nails CD and turn the volume as high as I could stand it, and then took off to the car dealership I needed to make a payment on. I seriously hated being an adult, but I’m proud of the fact that I’ve always been great with handling money.

Okay, so during the hour I was away from home, I realized that I’m lonely as fuck without my kids with me. I got a little more things done, but what was the point of it if I wasn’t even enjoying it? How did I ever live my life without them? Even when I go back to the memories when I was a teenager, they’re still there. I smile to myself as I drive down my road, eager to get back to my family. I grab my shit from the passenger’s seat and practically run to the door. I burst through the door.

“I’m home!” I exclaim. Gerard and Mikey are sitting on the couch watching a movie while the girls are in their laps giggling and squirming. I quickly pull out my phone and take pictures. “I’m gonna send these to Jamia later,” I explain.

“Hey, Frank, how did everything go?” Gerard asks.

“Good, good. I gotta talk to you about some stuff. Come into the kitchen with me?” He nods, standing up. “Will you be all right with both of them?” I ask Mikey.

“Leave it to me!” He says proudly, holding them tightly, like his life depended on it. Which, yeah, it did. ‘Cause I’d hurt him if he hurt them. It happens, but still. Sorry, Mikey. Gerard and I walk into the kitchen and sit down on the table.

“So is everything all right?” Gerard asked nervously.

“What? Yeah, definitely! Don’t worry. I just wanted to talk to you about some financial things. At the bank, I opened up a new account, and have this temporary card, an official one will come in the mail soon,” I say, holding up the card. “When I’m away on tour, every week, I set up my account to transfer money into this card so you’ll have enough for food and stuff for the girls and yourself, okay?” I explain. He nods. “All right, every week, $200 will be put in there. I’m not sure if you’re good with money, no offense, but this is only for food, toilet paper, paper towels, bibs, shit like that, you know? Anything else you see around that you like, comics, movies, CD’s or whatever, you have to pay for out of your pocket.” He nodded. I felt bad for having to set these limits but I need to be careful. This money is coming from my life’s savings. I’ve been putting money in there since I was six and my mom set up the account. When I got money for my birthday, it was put in there. When I had a job at fifteen, 25% of it went in there, 50% went to my parents, and the last 25% stayed in my checking account. All in all, it was safe to say that I knew what I was doing by now.

“I understand. I’m decent with money. I only really spend on art supplies, and other small things here and there. Don’t worry, Frank. The money you put into the account will only go to the girls and other necessities for the house. You have my word,” he said, holding his pinky out. I chuckled at how cute that was. I lock my pinky with his.

“Thank you, Gerard. I have band practice at three this afternoon.” He nods again. “Is Mikey going to stay?” I asked. I didn’t mind, I’d just like to know.

“Um, is it okay? I don’t want my dad to rip him a new one,” he said feebly, looking down at his hands.

“Hey, he can stay as long as he wants if your father is there, no offense,” I say. The man is an asshole, but that’s still someone in his family who helped conceive him, so I have no right to insult him just out of nowhere. He shrugs, shaking his head.

“None taken. He’s an asshole.” I give him a sympathetic smile and we stand. I hand him the card and he takes off upstairs to put it away. I take a seat next to Mikey look over at my kids.

“Hey,” he says, like he wants to know something.

“Hm?” I say.

“Do you like Gerard?” He asks, looking up at me.

“Of course. He’s a good person,” I say, trying to avoid what he means.

“Don’t play dumb, Frank. You know what I mean,” he says, staring me dead in the eye. I sigh.

“I can’t, but yeah. Just between us,” I admit. It feels just great to get it out. He looks at me thoughtfully for a moment before nodding understandingly.

“Why can’t you?”

“My kids come first. Always,” I answer. He leaves it at that and a moment later, Gerard comes back and sits in the recliner. I lean over towards Mikey and stroke Lily’s cheek. She gives me a small squeal and toothless smile and I want to melt. Her eyes are absolutely gleaming with happiness and I like to think it’s because I’m here. Like she knows who her dad is and she’s glad to see me. Cherry, my sleepyhead, is leaning against Mikey’s torso, eyes drooping and I grab the small blanket that’s on the arm of the sofa and pull it over her. “Looks like you’re stuck there, Mikey,” I say, chucking at his pout.

“I have no problem with it. I love babies.” I reach for Lily and hold her in my arms. She’s so giddy and almost squirming on my lap but she’s smiling big and giggling and I think that my life is complete. After thinking for a moment longer, I realize I don’t even need to be in a band to be happy. I just need them and that’s all. I peer over at Gerard who is focused on a picture of the girls, and add, yeah, I need him, too.

Romantic relationships don’t really mean anything to me, but I know that I need to be in one with Gerard. I need to have him be a part of this family because he just feels so right. We all stay in the living room watching movies and I laugh at Gerard and Mikey’s bickering but I’m happy and I can feel that the guys are as well. Once it hits 2:45 pm, the girls are asleep in their crib upstairs, and I’m standing up off the couch.

“Time to go?” Gerard asked. I nodded.

“Yep. Practice is until six, so if anything happens at all, call me and I’ll Superman my ass over here. What do you guys feel like having for dinner?” I ask, heading to the door. They both look at each other and shrug. “Right, well, there’s a takeout menu on the kitchen counter. Look through that and text me what you want so I can order on the way home for pick up. Be safe!” Then I close the door and take off. I’m excited for band practice, because playing is so exhilarating. I don’t need the band to be happy, but I still want to support my family. And what better way than doing something you love?

*

“Hey, guys, so after touring is over and done with, I know we’d mentioned disbanding, but, well, we got an offer to tour with another band,” Shaun, the keyboardist, mentioned. He was the one who kept track of our touring and answered the calls and made some.

“With who?” I asked, my heart racing at another tour and the thought of leaving my girls again.

“Taking Back Sunday,” he said. Everyone was quiet. Our sound was different from theirs, but we could really gain some light if we toured with them. I looked around at the others, who all seemed to be conflicted.

“What do you say?” I asked. No one wanted to make eye contact other than Shaun who smiled eagerly. “What are you all concerned about?”

“Our families,” came the reply.

“I have two one year olds and my ex-wife is on the other side of the world,” I said blankly. “I know it’s hard. I’m scared to leave them, too, but this is what I’m doing for them and even myself. Just think about it and whatever you guys want, that’s what we’ll do. Let’s just get through this tour and we’ll go from there,” I explained. They nodded and band practice was over. I went for a short drive afterwards to clear my mind and to also wait the 15 minutes it was going to take for our food to be ready.

A tour with a pretty big group, I thought, that’s good. Really good. It would be amazing and door opening to other opportunities. I’m positive that the band is going to split, I can just feel it despite trying to have faith. If that happens, maybe I can make my own band. Who knows though. Maybe my time playing in a band is supposed to end after our first tour. Maybe I was only meant to have my name on one album and that was it. Maybe I was just meant to work a normal nine to five job and that’s it. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I actually admire people who can do that. It takes a lot of dedication to continue with something like that, but it’s not for me.

I sighed and knew then that a band is the only thing I’d ever know and I need to remember that. The scorpion on my neck is the reminder to keep going. After picking up the food, I went home and was met with my babies’ giggles and raspberries being blown along with the guys’ laughter. It made me smile.

“I come baring food!” I announce, walking through the door. We set up at the table and Gerard and I fed the girls as Mikey ate and watched us. After the girls were full, we all ate together. It kind of made me laugh because Gerard and I were in sync and it was great.

“How was band practice?” Gerard asked. “Did something happen? You’ve been quieter than usual,” he noted. I shrugged.

“Well, um, “I started, “after our first tour, we were offered to tour again with, uh, Taking Back Sunday,” I said. Their eyes lit up.

“Frank, that’s great!” Gerard exclaimed.

Mikey nodded, “Yeah, that’s awesome, man!”

I sighed. “They don’t know if they want to take it, and honestly… I don’t know either,” I admitted. Gerard put his hand on my shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly, clearly concerned.

“I just have a lot to think about. We’ll talk later because it applies to you, too,” I warn. If we decided to go for tour, I’d have to find another caretaker for my kids because Gerard shouldn’t be stuck here. He nods, looking afraid.

Maybe he’ll know what I should. I should take that into consideration, because although my kids come first, his feelings matter before mine, too.

Notes

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I was going to wait until I finished Kill All Your Friends to post this, but that wouldn't be until Monday or Tuesday. Let me know how you're liking this! I think Frank with his kids are so cute :D And I enjoy writing Mikey in here, teasing Gerard and also being good with babies.

Leave me some feedback and let me know how I'm doin'? It'd mean lots!

Much love
-OAIF <3