I shake my head and feel the tears rolling down my face at a quicker pace now.

"What? Are you scared?" Gerard laughs humorlessly.

"No, I just don't understand." I cry.

"Understand what? Frank died Vanya, he died and it's my fault. It should've been me. He loved you and you should've ended up with him!" Gerard shouts, running his hands through his hair.

"I love you though." I whisper, taking a step towards him, "Not Frank, well, I loved him but not like you."

"You shouldn't have that stupid tumor." Gerard chokes back a sob.

"We can't stop that." I say while grabbing ahold of his hands and flipping them palms up, "But we can stop this." I add, tracing my fingers lightly over the old scars and some fresh ones on his arm.

"I feel like I should be helping you with your health." Gerard says thoughtfully after a minute.

"I feel fine." I mumble.

"You die, I die to." he murmurs.

"No, Gerard, I may die from a health condition, but you have to promise me that if I go, you'll move on." I whisper back.

"....." Gerard stays silent.

"Promise Gerard?" I ask.

"I promise." he answers quietly, and then I kiss him.