Bullet-Proof Heart
For all the dirty looks. (Part 3)
Gerard's P.O.V.
Vanya was beautiful. She didnt look sick at all. To be honest, I was terrified of her leaving me. I didnt eben bother telling her that my birthday was tomorrow. April 9th, I would be turning 19. I suppose it wasn't a big deal, I don't know anyone who actually celebrated a 19th birthday so to me it didnt matter. I dont even want anything. I already have everything that I want and everything that I need. I sigh and look over at Vanya who is sleeping peacefully next to me. I pick up my sketch book and open up to a blank page. I begin drawing the outline of her body, and then start adding some of the details. I'm crying again before I can stop myself. Have you ver loved somoen so much that it hurts? That you even wish you could take away all their pain and sadness? I wished I was the one who had the cancer, and not Vanya. If I could switch with her I would in a heart beat. She didn't derserve this. I did.
I carefully slide out of bed and into the bathroom. I look at my face in the small mirror overlooking the sink. The mirror had hinges and there was a small hidden storage area behind it. Where I kept extra toothpaste and my razors. I picked out a new razor and pressed it to my skin. I moved it up further, closer to my shoulder, so that way my sleeves would cover it. I was only wearing my boxers now, but it didnt matter, I would throw on a shirt when I was heading back to bed.
I slowly began cutting, Blood dripping down my arm and forming a puddle on the white porcelin tiles. One cut for all the dirty looks they gave Vanya, another for all the mean comments. I made one cut for each individual comment. Cut for the cancer she didn't deserve. I was starting to feel lightheaded, but I refused to stop. The pain was making me grit my teeth, but I deserved it. I didn't even notice that someone was standing in the bathroom door way sobbing quietly.
Vanya was beautiful. She didnt look sick at all. To be honest, I was terrified of her leaving me. I didnt eben bother telling her that my birthday was tomorrow. April 9th, I would be turning 19. I suppose it wasn't a big deal, I don't know anyone who actually celebrated a 19th birthday so to me it didnt matter. I dont even want anything. I already have everything that I want and everything that I need. I sigh and look over at Vanya who is sleeping peacefully next to me. I pick up my sketch book and open up to a blank page. I begin drawing the outline of her body, and then start adding some of the details. I'm crying again before I can stop myself. Have you ver loved somoen so much that it hurts? That you even wish you could take away all their pain and sadness? I wished I was the one who had the cancer, and not Vanya. If I could switch with her I would in a heart beat. She didn't derserve this. I did.
I carefully slide out of bed and into the bathroom. I look at my face in the small mirror overlooking the sink. The mirror had hinges and there was a small hidden storage area behind it. Where I kept extra toothpaste and my razors. I picked out a new razor and pressed it to my skin. I moved it up further, closer to my shoulder, so that way my sleeves would cover it. I was only wearing my boxers now, but it didnt matter, I would throw on a shirt when I was heading back to bed.
I slowly began cutting, Blood dripping down my arm and forming a puddle on the white porcelin tiles. One cut for all the dirty looks they gave Vanya, another for all the mean comments. I made one cut for each individual comment. Cut for the cancer she didn't deserve. I was starting to feel lightheaded, but I refused to stop. The pain was making me grit my teeth, but I deserved it. I didn't even notice that someone was standing in the bathroom door way sobbing quietly.
Notes
Hey guys, heres another chapter. I know tht it contains self harm but i still hope you enjoy it. Like, rate a subscribe please. Even feel free to leave a comment below, I may start responding to each comment individually. Thank you guys sooooooooooo much for reading and I hope you like the story so far.Stay beautiful, keep it ugly! <3 Peace off!
I'd be cool with it if you'd post links to the new chapters here...
4/14/14