Bullet-Proof Heart
I am not afraid to keep on living. (Part 3)
Dear Vanya,
Where do I even begin? Freshman year maybe? I remember when we first met. At the water fountain when people were kicking me, in fact I think it was Drew. You were the only one in a crowd of people who stood up for me. I knew right then, that we would be the best of friends. After that we ran into each other at the mall. That same day, actually. We talked and I made you laugh...you have such a beautiful laugh. I wanted to hear it more often. You left though, sophomore year. You began to hang out with Kailey and Charlotte, but I never forgot about you. I watched out for you. I felt lost without you. Like I was all alone all over again. I left those roses in your locker on Valentines day...I didn't realize that you had given your locker combination to multiple people, you didn't even realize it was from me. You thought it was from that loser Jordan.
This year, as a senior I though that you would remember me. We could be friends again. But you met Gerard. It was like watching what happened to me freshman year, except it killed because it was him and not me. I wanted you to look at me that way...I was too late. I befriended him, testing him in ways you wouldn't understand. Pretending to be drunk at parties to see if he would start drinking...he failed that test. But when I saw him stick up for you to your mother...I knew he was the one for you. Though I hate to admit it. But that night when I saw you crying at the hospital over him, it broke my heart. I never want to see you sad. And then when I kissed you....I remembered why I fell in love with you in the first place.
I'm doing this for you. So you and Gerard can be happy together without me interfering. So that I'm not in the way, and so that I can be free myself. Don't cry too hard over me. I don't deserve it. I will be your guardian angel if I get to heaven. Or more likely, Hell. I love you forever and always but this is what I needed. I'm sorry.
But you need to love Gerard, because he loves you. He looks at you the way I used to and he loves you all the same. Forgive and Forget,
Frank
My tears drip through the paper and I burst into tears again.
Where do I even begin? Freshman year maybe? I remember when we first met. At the water fountain when people were kicking me, in fact I think it was Drew. You were the only one in a crowd of people who stood up for me. I knew right then, that we would be the best of friends. After that we ran into each other at the mall. That same day, actually. We talked and I made you laugh...you have such a beautiful laugh. I wanted to hear it more often. You left though, sophomore year. You began to hang out with Kailey and Charlotte, but I never forgot about you. I watched out for you. I felt lost without you. Like I was all alone all over again. I left those roses in your locker on Valentines day...I didn't realize that you had given your locker combination to multiple people, you didn't even realize it was from me. You thought it was from that loser Jordan.
This year, as a senior I though that you would remember me. We could be friends again. But you met Gerard. It was like watching what happened to me freshman year, except it killed because it was him and not me. I wanted you to look at me that way...I was too late. I befriended him, testing him in ways you wouldn't understand. Pretending to be drunk at parties to see if he would start drinking...he failed that test. But when I saw him stick up for you to your mother...I knew he was the one for you. Though I hate to admit it. But that night when I saw you crying at the hospital over him, it broke my heart. I never want to see you sad. And then when I kissed you....I remembered why I fell in love with you in the first place.
I'm doing this for you. So you and Gerard can be happy together without me interfering. So that I'm not in the way, and so that I can be free myself. Don't cry too hard over me. I don't deserve it. I will be your guardian angel if I get to heaven. Or more likely, Hell. I love you forever and always but this is what I needed. I'm sorry.
But you need to love Gerard, because he loves you. He looks at you the way I used to and he loves you all the same. Forgive and Forget,
Frank
My tears drip through the paper and I burst into tears again.
I'd be cool with it if you'd post links to the new chapters here...
4/14/14