The Beautiful and the Damned

I woke up hours later when the bus driver shook me awake. The bus had driven all through the night so I woke up with the full force on the California sun on my face. I hadn’t slept well, the whole drive down here I had seen his face in my dreams. He’d go from being the beautiful man I had known for months, then morph into the creature I had seen in the alley way. It was a dream I would have on and off for weeks.
I walked away from the bus stop in search of something to eat. Never suffer a crisis on am empty stomach my mother has always told me. And this was a crisis. I had decided before I fell asleep that I believed what I had seen to be real. So what should I do next? Well in the short term I needed food, I needed somewhere to sleep, and I needed something to wear that wasn’t the short black dress I had worn on the night out. Food became easy as I found a little café near the waterfront. They had a load of touristy leaflets on a stand at the front advertising waterparks and such. They had a few for hotels as well, one of them looked alright and wasn’t too expensive. Although if I was going to be here long term I would need a job.
One sec, I’d been so busy thinking about what I needed to do to stay away from Gerard, to stay safe that I hadn’t stopped to think about the life I had been leaving behind. As soon as I had finished my food I dashed to a payphone to call Meg. She screamed down the phone at me, demanding to know where I was and why I hadn’t come home. I told her to relax and told her the sort of truth.
“I got freaked out seeing Gee last night. It really was him with that blonde. I sort of decided to get on a bus to California…”
“California?!” she asked.
“Yeah it seemed like a good idea at the time, beer and shock and all, I think I’ll stay down here for the next few days, book into a hotel, go to the library, get my head straight, work on my paper. I really was starting to fall for him, last night was a slap in the face.”
“Okay Leia, you take care of yourself, I want a call everyday to make sure your alright.”
“I promise, now I have to go, I’m running out of quarters.”
“Speak to you soon sweetie.”
“Yeah sure” I mumbled, then hung up. I made one last call using up the rest of my change. I called my supervisor from college and told him I’d had a family emergency and needed to run home but that I would try to get my paper in on time. He said that it was okay for me to miss college for a while and to call him about when I might be back, and if I needed an extension on the paper. Then I headed of in the direction of the hotel using the map on the back of the leaflet and got myself a room. I had to admit that it was nice to be away from the winter cold of New York and somewhere warmer. Next on the list was clothes. I walked from the hotel complex back toward town, taking the route across the beach.
What was I supposed to do about Gerard? He wasn’t human I was sure of that. I didn’t want to think about what he was, that thing wasn’t meant to exist. Was I in any danger? He really had looked dangerous in the alley. Was that girl even alive now? Despite the sun and the distance from him I was still afraid. At times I thought that running half a continent away from him was a bit drastic. Then I would remember his face. And that blood. And wonder what he would do to me if he found me. Best case scenario he was some fucked up serial killer, yeah lets focus on that. Serial killer was better than the alternative. Would he be after me now that I knew? It seemed logical that he would come after me. Could this really just be a break, would I ever be able to go back? Well I couldn’t go back to work, he knew I would be there. Crap, work. I would need to call my boss and tell him I wouldn’t be around for a while. I would probably lose my job as I was meant to be working later today (which I did), but if I wasn’t going back that didn’t really matter. Well term was nearly over, as long as I got my paper in on time I would pass. I could transfer at the end of the semester. I really didn’t want to. New York had always been my dream, I would be so disappointed to leave. Gods my parents. What would I tell them? I could say there was a shitty boyfriend… not a total lie. Or maybe I was being bullied, or couldn’t stand the cold. I could tell them over the holidays there was no rush there. They didn’t need to know I wasn’t in New York right now.
I had been so set on thinking I’d hardly noticed that I had made it all the way to town. Every other shop here was filled with surfing gear. I grabbed some jeans, tee’s and flip flops. Plus clean underwear. That should keep me covered for the next few days. Walking back to the hotel, and despite of my stress, the sunset really was beautiful. There were surfers dotting the horizon. Surfing, I could give that a try. Maybe I should have a poke around and see if there was anywhere I could transfer to down here.
I got back to the hotel room just before it got dark. I was in the touristy part so from my room I could hear the music from the local bars and people out on the beach as I fell asleep. It didn’t keep the nightmares away. They were worse here than they had been on the bus. This time it wasn’t just his face. I saw my favourite day with him. He’d gotten a piece in a local art show and had invited me to come with him to the opening. It was a beautiful piece. Based on some French style he told me. He’d painted his Grandmother using bold, broad brush strokes. He had painted her using white and blue brush strokes and placed her against a black background. It was just her upper body. It was truly fantastic and he deserved to have that piece exhibited.
He picked me up from my apartment a little early and chatted to me while I finished putting my make-up on. He’d come up behind me and run his hands through my brown curly hair and down the back of my spine to my ass, whispering in my ear the whole time trying to distract me. I told him he should stop or we would never making it to the opening. We’d got a cab and gone to the opening. They had displayed his picture perfectly, really highlighting all its best features. He had dressed up for occasion. He was in a suit and he looked so smooth I could melt. There had been champagne and nibbles and people coming to talk to Gerard all night. But he kept me close and never made me feel left out. He managed to introduce me as his muse to someone with a totally straight face, I cracked up the second there back was turned.
It was later that night that we’d first had sex. It had been messy and sweaty and far from perfect, I blame the drink. But afterwards he had held me close and whispered to me until I fell asleep. Only now in my dream it ends differently. We get back to my house and go up to my room. We’re taking each other’s clothes off and laughing. He stops and smiles at me. Only now he doesn’t lean in to kiss me, I see his face and his teeth start to grow until they are sharp enough to piece through my skin. And this time when he pushes me onto the bed, my heart races with fear not anticipation. When his lips trip across my necks I don’t giggle and run my fingers through his hair. I scream and try to fight him off. I don’t manage it and when he pulls his head away to look at me he smiles at me with my blood dripping down his face and onto my chest.
I woke up with a start, checking my chest to make sure there’s no blood on me. Only sweat. I rushed to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face and calm my breathing. I didn’t manage to get back to sleep again after that and sat on my balcony listening to people on holiday have fun.

Notes