The Beautiful and the Damned

I had met him at the bar where I worked. He was mine and I could not be happier about it. Funny, creative, caring with a gorgeous lopsided smile that never failed to melt my heart. His name was Gerard Way.
The bar I worked at was a total dive. It was in a basement south of the river with a floor sticky with beer, ripped posters all over the walls and graffiti covering the bathroom stalls. It was badly lit too, which in hindsight was probably a blessing to us all. I was working to help pay my way through college, it wasn’t that I was badly off I just got a lot of satisfaction from knowing that some of the money I was spending was my own instead of my parents. My parents said I was being stubborn and should focus on my studies, but I had always loved my independence. I was majoring in Politics, but I stuck to my golden rule solidly in the pub, no talk of politics or religion in the bar. It only ever ended arguments and in this hole an argument could end up in a fight. At 5”1 there was very little I could do when this happened, I could yell myself hoarse but the results weren’t consistent.
That was how I met him. Two blokes started squaring up to each other on a Friday night. I remember feeling the tension creeping up my spine as I saw the anger between the guys build up. There was nothing I could do right now, they were both significantly larger than I was and nothing I said was sinking in. It was grim in here already, we didn’t need broken teeth on the floor to add to the ambiance. Then along he came, walked into the bar with a beat up leather jacket and sneakers on. You could have cut the air in that place with a knife, his eyes darted from the two guys to my worried face from behind the bar. He smiled, put a hand on the shoulder of one of the guys and said
“Come on Bert, it’s my round and I really can’t afford to pay your bail again.” Before another word could be said he dragged the guy with long black hair to a table on the other side of the room. The tank he’d been about to take on scoffed and walked back to his table, downed his drink and headed off. Once the coast was clear Gee came up to the bar.
“Two Bud’s please, and don’t worry, I’ll keep him calm from here on in.”
“Thanks, that could’ve ended badly. On the house. But just this once, if I gave free beer away time something happened in here we’d go out of business in a week.”
He had laughed as he walked to his table. I caught him glancing at me throughout my entire shift that evening. Only because I was enjoying sneaking glances at him. He came back again on the Saturday night too, this time it was even busier than before, there was a game on and we we’re rammed. He and the skinny guy he sat with were the only two that seemed to be disinterested in what was happening on the screen. They stayed until it was nearly time for me to close up and the bar was pretty much empty. People had been filtering out ever since the game had ended. As I started to clean up the tables and get ready for shut down the skinny one with him left, I heard him say that he had to make a call and needed to pop out to the payphone. It didn’t escape my notice that he left just after a large group of girls. I’d spotted him checking out the blonde one all evening.
I was wiping down the tables when he came up to me,
“Glad to see you didn’t need any help this evening. I was worried you would with the game on. It’s Gerard by the way” I laughed,
“Leia. And I was in no trouble, my boss is outback as back-up just in case anything sprang up.”
“Leia, as in…”
“The princess yes. Good films but I hear that one a lot.”
“So I can’t call you princess?”
“Defiantly not.”
“Well can I at least take you out and pay you back for that drink I owe you?”
“You don’t owe me anything, and anyway its 2.30 and I have a lecture at 9 tomorrow. So it might not be the best time.” He smiled and for the first time since I met him looked me straight in the eyes,
“Well how about tomorrow then? We could meet here.” I gave a good look up and down, crossed my arms and pouted a little bit. I had never had a good experience with anyone who had asked out in the bar before. But unlike the others he wasn’t really drunk or slurring his words. He also looked cleaner. His hair wasn’t at all greasy. In fact his hair was really nice. Black with a fringe that drew my gaze to his eyes. He was dressed well too, worn black jacket, white tee and black jeans. Most importantly he looked at me like I was person, not a piece of meat he could undress with his eyes. He was hot, and his smile was compelling me to agree. So I took the plunge.
“Yeah alright, on the condition that we go somewhere far away from here, I spend too much time in this bar as it is.”
“Sure, do you know the Cooler? It’s across from the College auditorium.”
“By the Chinese place?” He nodded, “yeah I know it. I’m free from 8. I’ll see you then.”
“I look forward to it.” He patted the side of leg a little awkwardly, flashed me a full on smile with teeth and walked off to go find the skinny guys he’d been with. My boss walked out from the backroom where he’d been watch TV.
“Can you handle that guy? He seems a bit smooth. I wouldn’t want to see you hurt.”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to give it a shot.”

A small part of me was worried the next day as I walked from the library to the bar. It hadn’t been the best day and I really couldn’t deal with being stood up too. I needn’t have worried. It was a nice place that he had picked and he was waiting there when I showed up. I was a beer drinker, he was impressed by this. I was impressed that he didn’t call me princess or make a single other Star Wars joke. Although we did talk about the films, and other films, and music, and books, and so on. It was a great night and an even better first date. I was usually quite careful on first dates, but I knew the area and he made me feel safe so I ended up getting quite tipsy. By the end of the night I was laughing so much my cheeks were bright red. He seemed to be having as much fun as I was. He offered to walk me to the taxi rank so I could get home safe. Somewhere on the walk we turned into one of those couples that can’t keep their hands of each other on a street corner. Through the beer fog I can remember his lips against mine and the way he would pull away ever so often to look in my eyes, it felt like he kept checking to make sure I was happy with what was happening. He trailed a line of kisses along the side of my neck. I caught my breath as he pulled away again to look at my face,
“I had a great time tonight, would you want to do this again?” I was impressed that he wasn’t pushing to come home with me. I liked guys who didn’t expect anything of me on the first date.
“Yeah I think I’d really enjoy that. Got a pen?” He passed me a thick black marker and I scrawled my number on his arm. We finished walking to the cab rank. When I was sat in the back he gave me a kiss though the window and said goodnight.
I was a little nervous again the next day. I’d had such a good time the night before. He seemed like the kind of guy I would really get along with. I really hoped he’d call. There was a message for me on my answer phone when I got back from lectures that evening. We went out for more drinks. Then we went to his friends gig. The guys he’d been in the bar with the first time I’d seen him was the lead singer. Bert turned out to be a fun guy when he wasn’t causing me problems at work. The skinny guy, Mikey, was there too. Turns out he was Gerard’s brother. I made a joke about it being a little too early to start introducing me to his family. He put his arm around my waist and said
“Why not now? I hope you stick around.” And kissed me on the cheek. I gave him a little shove back. We went out for dinner. We went to the movies. We walked around the park even though it was the middle of winter and the weather was terrible. Next thing I knew it had been 8 months and I was becoming completely smitten with him. We saw each other nearly every night when I wasn’t working. He was trying to make it as a cartoonist and was designing tattoos for his mate’s parlour to tide him over. It was perfect. We worked so well. I was so happy.

Notes