THE BADLANDS [ON HOLD]
Bang The Doldrums
“I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm,
When you passed out
I couldn't bring myself to... Call it quits,” -Bang The Doldrums, Fall Out Boy
"He's still pissed at me, isn't me?" I ask, hearing the door open. For the last few hours, I've been hanging out behind the DIE, leaning up against the wall and smoking. I've already been through half a pack, which is slightly problematic.
Mikey leans up next to me on the wall, watching the blinding sun in the bright blue sky. "Kinda," he says, shoving his hand through his hair. "What did you say to him?"
I sigh and take a drag, blowing a stream of gray smoke at the sky. "I said that he didn't need to protect me," I say, omitting part of my rant. "It just hit him weird, I guess."
"I know that's not it," Mikey says. "I've known you for too long; I know you're lying. Tell me the truth."
"I am," I argue. Not the whole truth, I add internally.
"Halsey," Mikey starts, almost like a warning. "Poison's half-pissed, half-about-to-cry."
"Damn it," I mumble, smashing the end of my cigarette into the wall. "I told him that... Umm, that Ashley's dead and nothing he could do could bring her back."
Mikey says nothing, raising his eyebrows and blinking once. "Holy... That was really harsh," he says quietly. "No wonder he's having a meltdown."
"He is?" I ask.
"Hals, you're basically his sister," Mikey tells me. "That really hit him hard. He loves you too, you know. Like, really loves you."
"Yeah, I know," I say dejectedly. I sigh again and add "I'm gonna find him."
"He's just out front, watching over Gear and the Kid and Truant," Mikey tells me, gesturing to the side of the building, to where I can get to the front quickly. "Be gentle about this. Lately, you haven't been... Soft."
"You're telling me," I mutter and check the holster around my thigh, making sure my gun is there, in case I have to use it. I probably won't but you never know.
I quickly make my way to the front and see Gerard laying on Lil' Shit's hood, his eyes closed and his hand on his gun. The three rebels are still in their places on the ground, their wrists rubbed raw from the restraints. Truant gives me a sour look as I pass him soundlessly, glaring as I jump up next to him, making the metal scream with my added weight.
Gerard pops one of his eyes open, looking at me before closing his eye again. "I have no words for you, Halsey," he tells me, spitting my name. I watch his long, slender fingers drum against the butt of his gun as I think about what to say.
"I'm so sorry," I say quietly. "About what I said. I got pissed and couldn't control what I said.
"Well, that doesn't make it okay," he says, bolting up to prop himself up on his elbows. His eyes sweep me, his usually soft eyes turning hard with anger. "I told you that I loved you, and what do you tell me? That you killed the girl I love."
"I know, I'm sorry" I say, trying to hold back tears. Gerard and I have had disputes before, but he's never been this upset at me. "It was a horrible thing to say, and I feel like such a prick."
"You should," he grumbles. "But you're right— Ashley's dead."
After a moment, I place my hand on his knee and quietly say "I'm still here, Gerard. Nobody can kill me."
He perks up slightly at his real name, watching me carefully. "You can't do that, Hals," he says finally. "You can't tell me she's dead, then magically bring her back like you're Harry fuckin' Potter or something. She's dead, and you can't bring her back."
Fuck. That hurt. Now, I know what he felt like when I said... Oh. "I see what you're doing," I say and he smiles. "You little shit."
"Well, see, if you remember, I'm not that little," he says, trying not to laugh. Mad Gear groans as soon as the words leave Gerard's mouth and the Missile Kid loses his shit, doubling over as he laughs.
"Shut the fuck up," I say.
"I can't stay mad at you forever, Hals. You're basically my sister," Gerard says, ruffling my hair. "Kiss and make up?"
"Sure," I say and he kisses my cheek, making me smile even wider. "So, how long ago did you stop being mad at me?"
"About an hour-ish," he says. "If was just a bad way of phrasing that you aren't the same person. Try to be softer the next time you tell me you killed my sister."
The sleeping arrangements at the DIE; Love and Jimmy occupy the closest booth, on the separate ends of the booth. Across the room, Jet is sitting against the wall with Missile curled up next to him, the elder trying to fall asleep. Frank is camped out in a booth, cuddling a bundle of fabric close to his chest, a sleepy smile on his lips. That leaves Gerard and me with the option of getting in a booth closest to the door.
I droft off in and out of sleep the whole night, jolting awake at the climax of B.L.I-centered nightmares. I can already tell that nights in the desert are going to be a special kind of hell.
Suddenly, Jet's shaking me awake frantically, saying "Hals. Wake up; we gotta talk."
I groggily sit up, looking around the room. Frank's changed into a new outfit consisting of a yellow and black t-shirt with the long sleeves pushed up past his elbows to show off his tattoos. A military-style green vest covers his chest, and he has black jeans on, the ends tucked into black boots. He has numerous paracord necklaces on, as well as a gun holster on his back, holding an acid-green gun.
"Look at your motherfucking arm," Frank says, raking his fingers through his hair. I look down at my arm and find a message written on my arm in what looks pink lipstick, the same color that Love's wearing. It says 'best friends; ex-friends; better off as lovers. xoG' and I look up to see Gerard nowhere in the room.
"Well, where the hell is he?" I ask.
"We thought you would know," Jet says and I try to run the words off of my arm, only resulting in making the words bigger and blurrier.
"I checked the whole building," Mikey contributes. "Even the roof. He's not here."
"He's not even in the Zone," Dr. Death says and everyone jerks their heads to look at him with addition of the news. "I have surveillance cams set up all over the Zone," he says as an explanation. "And I have people stationed all over the place. If he's in the Zone, I would know. And he's not exactly in stealth-mode, with his hair."
Now, it's my turn to add to the conversation. "Fucking fantastic."
When you passed out
I couldn't bring myself to... Call it quits,” -Bang The Doldrums, Fall Out Boy
"He's still pissed at me, isn't me?" I ask, hearing the door open. For the last few hours, I've been hanging out behind the DIE, leaning up against the wall and smoking. I've already been through half a pack, which is slightly problematic.
Mikey leans up next to me on the wall, watching the blinding sun in the bright blue sky. "Kinda," he says, shoving his hand through his hair. "What did you say to him?"
I sigh and take a drag, blowing a stream of gray smoke at the sky. "I said that he didn't need to protect me," I say, omitting part of my rant. "It just hit him weird, I guess."
"I know that's not it," Mikey says. "I've known you for too long; I know you're lying. Tell me the truth."
"I am," I argue. Not the whole truth, I add internally.
"Halsey," Mikey starts, almost like a warning. "Poison's half-pissed, half-about-to-cry."
"Damn it," I mumble, smashing the end of my cigarette into the wall. "I told him that... Umm, that Ashley's dead and nothing he could do could bring her back."
Mikey says nothing, raising his eyebrows and blinking once. "Holy... That was really harsh," he says quietly. "No wonder he's having a meltdown."
"He is?" I ask.
"Hals, you're basically his sister," Mikey tells me. "That really hit him hard. He loves you too, you know. Like, really loves you."
"Yeah, I know," I say dejectedly. I sigh again and add "I'm gonna find him."
"He's just out front, watching over Gear and the Kid and Truant," Mikey tells me, gesturing to the side of the building, to where I can get to the front quickly. "Be gentle about this. Lately, you haven't been... Soft."
"You're telling me," I mutter and check the holster around my thigh, making sure my gun is there, in case I have to use it. I probably won't but you never know.
I quickly make my way to the front and see Gerard laying on Lil' Shit's hood, his eyes closed and his hand on his gun. The three rebels are still in their places on the ground, their wrists rubbed raw from the restraints. Truant gives me a sour look as I pass him soundlessly, glaring as I jump up next to him, making the metal scream with my added weight.
Gerard pops one of his eyes open, looking at me before closing his eye again. "I have no words for you, Halsey," he tells me, spitting my name. I watch his long, slender fingers drum against the butt of his gun as I think about what to say.
"I'm so sorry," I say quietly. "About what I said. I got pissed and couldn't control what I said.
"Well, that doesn't make it okay," he says, bolting up to prop himself up on his elbows. His eyes sweep me, his usually soft eyes turning hard with anger. "I told you that I loved you, and what do you tell me? That you killed the girl I love."
"I know, I'm sorry" I say, trying to hold back tears. Gerard and I have had disputes before, but he's never been this upset at me. "It was a horrible thing to say, and I feel like such a prick."
"You should," he grumbles. "But you're right— Ashley's dead."
After a moment, I place my hand on his knee and quietly say "I'm still here, Gerard. Nobody can kill me."
He perks up slightly at his real name, watching me carefully. "You can't do that, Hals," he says finally. "You can't tell me she's dead, then magically bring her back like you're Harry fuckin' Potter or something. She's dead, and you can't bring her back."
Fuck. That hurt. Now, I know what he felt like when I said... Oh. "I see what you're doing," I say and he smiles. "You little shit."
"Well, see, if you remember, I'm not that little," he says, trying not to laugh. Mad Gear groans as soon as the words leave Gerard's mouth and the Missile Kid loses his shit, doubling over as he laughs.
"Shut the fuck up," I say.
"I can't stay mad at you forever, Hals. You're basically my sister," Gerard says, ruffling my hair. "Kiss and make up?"
"Sure," I say and he kisses my cheek, making me smile even wider. "So, how long ago did you stop being mad at me?"
"About an hour-ish," he says. "If was just a bad way of phrasing that you aren't the same person. Try to be softer the next time you tell me you killed my sister."
The sleeping arrangements at the DIE; Love and Jimmy occupy the closest booth, on the separate ends of the booth. Across the room, Jet is sitting against the wall with Missile curled up next to him, the elder trying to fall asleep. Frank is camped out in a booth, cuddling a bundle of fabric close to his chest, a sleepy smile on his lips. That leaves Gerard and me with the option of getting in a booth closest to the door.
I droft off in and out of sleep the whole night, jolting awake at the climax of B.L.I-centered nightmares. I can already tell that nights in the desert are going to be a special kind of hell.
Suddenly, Jet's shaking me awake frantically, saying "Hals. Wake up; we gotta talk."
I groggily sit up, looking around the room. Frank's changed into a new outfit consisting of a yellow and black t-shirt with the long sleeves pushed up past his elbows to show off his tattoos. A military-style green vest covers his chest, and he has black jeans on, the ends tucked into black boots. He has numerous paracord necklaces on, as well as a gun holster on his back, holding an acid-green gun.
"Look at your motherfucking arm," Frank says, raking his fingers through his hair. I look down at my arm and find a message written on my arm in what looks pink lipstick, the same color that Love's wearing. It says 'best friends; ex-friends; better off as lovers. xoG' and I look up to see Gerard nowhere in the room.
"Well, where the hell is he?" I ask.
"We thought you would know," Jet says and I try to run the words off of my arm, only resulting in making the words bigger and blurrier.
"I checked the whole building," Mikey contributes. "Even the roof. He's not here."
"He's not even in the Zone," Dr. Death says and everyone jerks their heads to look at him with addition of the news. "I have surveillance cams set up all over the Zone," he says as an explanation. "And I have people stationed all over the place. If he's in the Zone, I would know. And he's not exactly in stealth-mode, with his hair."
Now, it's my turn to add to the conversation. "Fucking fantastic."
Notes
MY FOO FIGHTERS CONCERT IS TODAY!!!!
A SOUND CHECK'S SUPPOSED TO BE AT 6:30 AM BUT IT IS 10:30 NOW AND NO SOUND CHECK!!! DAVE GROHL BETTER UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS BAND CUZ I WOKE UP AT 4:00 SO I COULD RECORD THE SOUND CHECK!!! THE FOOS BETTER PUT ON A KICKASS SHOW TONIGHT!!!
I also apologize for any typos. I'm updating on my phone and it hates me. (and I've decided to start double-spacing my chapters. It makes it easier to proof-read.)
.:stay lovely:.
xoøli
The last line of every chapter is always great.
And happy birthday Hesitant Alien!
10/1/15