Disenchanted

It's now Thursday, It's been three days since I last spoke to Gerard. We didn't exactly end our last conversation the way I wanted to. Iv'e been avoiding him. I know he is going to come back soon and I'm worried about him. At school I've been hanging out with Mikey and he has truly become my best friend. I can tell him anything......... even how I feel about Gerard. Which I did. He told me to do what I feel is right and that Gerard will respect the choices I make. Talking to Mikey made it clear..... I'm falling fast for Gerard faster than I had originally thought. I WANT HIM... I don't regret these feelings I have for him one bit.

....................... Time Lapse........................

I was sitting in Art class, drawing in my sketchbook when I realized I had to let Gerard know that I wanted to be with him. I asked my Art teacher if i could go to the bathroom. I was going to call Gerard and tell him. As I walked out of the class and down the hall I felt a hand grip my shirt... It was those fucking douchebag jocks! I was thrown against the lockers and hit repeatedly. Everything was happening so fast I didn't know who was saying what. Alll I could hear were things like "Wheres your faggot emo boyfriend... is he dead?" "Why don't you just kill yourself" "make him cry" and then everything went black.

I woke up in the nurses office. I had a massive headache and I looked down at my shoes and they were soaked in my own blood. In this moment I hit my breaking point. I bursted into tears and ran out of the office. I ran into the park where gerard and i had talked for hours. I layed in the grass and cried. I fell asleep in the grass and I dreamt that Gerard was here with me holding me, telling me that everything was going to be okay, whispering to me that he loved me.

I wanted this dream to be real. It felt so real and so right .. i never wanted to wake up. ever

Notes

so this is short sorry :/ I'm going to update again tomorrow. Title is from Release by Pearl Jam.

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~ xoxodesi