Disenchanted

I glanced down at my phone and his name was flashing on the screen. My could feel my heart pounding through my chest, I started to sweat and my stomach was turning. I felt like throwing up. I gulped and pressed answer. I said nothing but i could just hear Gerard breathing. There was a long pause .....................he finally spoke and said " Hey Frankie" his voice sounded raspy and faint. He sounded sick and weak. I didn't realize when Mikey said Gerard was sick, what kind of sick he meant. I was worried about him. I said " Gerard you don't sound well at all. How are you feeling?". He said " I'll be alright baby! I'm just in a lot of pain right now. Just don't worry about me okay? But, I do need to tell you something rather important. are you listening?" I wanted to cry I thought to myself My baby is in pain and i'm not there with him? What kind of friend am I? " Frankie?" I snapped out of my thoughts and said " Yeah baby, Im listening what is it"? Gerard took a deep breath and said with hesitation "Frankie I miss you I want to see you cause. I feel so alone right now but everything feels right when I'm with you" I gulped and said "Gee I miss you too, when can i visit you"? He sniffled and it sounded like he was crying but he stuttered and said "Frankie, I'm back home with my parents and I'll be here for a while." "my heart sank, "gee why didn't you tell me you were sick"? " Frankie I wanted too, but you told me you just wanted to be friends and that really fucking hurt me, so i didn't want to tell you anything that might hurt or influence our friendship and the way you feel about me" " Gee that's ridiculous, pleased don't ever think that, I do care about you a lot .. and a lot more than just a friend, I'm terrified that you'll break my heart and i don't know if i cant deal with that." i realized the tone of my voice was stern and i sounded mad. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. The phone cut out and I began to cry...

I got out of the bath and layed face first on my bed, I'm such a fuck!

Notes

Hi! guys sorry for such a short chapter there's lots more to come :) just had a lot of schoolwork. Title is from the song No surprises by Radiohead! and i would just like to wish one of my favorite albums happy birthday! HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY TEN! If you haven't listened to the album Ten by Pearl Jam you should cause they are my second favorite band ever! ahaha obviously My Chem is number 1!

~xoxodesi