Bad Management

“What are you doing here?” I snapped my head around glaring at the pair of them.
“You left your purse.” Sophia held it up slowly looking at me, with the look in her eyes that made me know this wasn’t going to end well.
“What’s going on guys?” Gerard asked quietly as they both made their way over to us. We just stood there frozen watching them, I never once took my eyes off of Sophia’s despite wanting to.
“George and I shared a moment in the bathroom before, something she’s denying. I’m trying to tell her how I feel and she’s denying it.” Frank snapped out as I span around on my heels giving him my death glare.
“Shut your mouth.” I growled at him. “There was no moment! Your fucking fiancé is here Frank. There was no moment.” I screamed at him, painfully aware of the looks we were all getting.
“She wasn’t then though was she? When you kissed me back? When you was moaning for more!” He screamed back, leaning over the trolley a little to get closer to me.
“I mean it shut your mouth Frank.” I pushed the trolley into him a little.
“Why? Because the truth hurts? Because you don’t want to admit it out of fear? Why can liking me be so bad George? Why is that so shameful?” He shouted back making his way around the trolley to stand in front of me as Gerard stepped forward, separating us a little.
“Because admitting I love you means I can never have you! You are engaged! Don’t you get it? This isn’t a quick fumble mess around for me Frank! You cannot use me for pleasure when I fucking love you!” I screamed before I realised what I’d just said. The shocked look on his and Gerard’s face said it all that I did indeed say it out loud. “You know what I can’t… just…fuck.” I shouted out as I threw my purse into the trolley before running out of the shop and to my car.

I jumped into the car, slamming on the locks on the door and screeching off just as Frank came into view. I drove down the winding roads with my headlights on full beam, tears streaming down my face as I realised I’d screwed everything up. I turned the CD up as loud as I could, 5 Seconds of Summer playing out always made me feel better. I was too angry not to sing along, but also to hurt to sing properly so it turned into a sort of broken version of their upbeat songs. I drove completely past the cottage without realising until it was too late to make a U-turn. Figuring they would be somewhere down the road where I could pull in and turn around I just kept driving until a little dirt side path came into view, pulling into it I turned the engine off figuring I’d just need time to sort my emotions out and have a plan of action. One thing touring with this band has taught me is that you always have to have at least three plans of action because you then at least one will work. I turned off the lights, leaving the music on and resting my head back against the headrest focusing on my breathing whilst thinking of how I can undo the mess I’d made. First, I thought of googling how to take back telling someone you loved them, as I felt round for my phone I realised I’d left that in the trolley. Secondly, I thought about driving off, I could make it to my hometown with the petrol that I had in the tank, but, the fact that I had no phone would mean Sophia would be worrying so much. Finally, I could go and just act like it never happened and avoid being near Frank on my own. He wouldn’t be stupid enough to bring it up in front of everyone, especially whilst Amber was there. The only problem with that is he would undoubtedly want to speak about it, I mean speaking about it got us into this mess in the first place. Well that and his damn kissing technique and my unbelievable lack of control. Which means him, Gerard and Sophia will already be planning ways to get Frank and me alone; knowing I wouldn’t be able to run away from that or scream because then everyone would know. I quickly started to get a headache thinking about these things and it wasn’t long until I was pulling one of the hoodies off the backseat to hug around myself as my eyes felt heavy.

Frank’s P.O.V.

“Because admitting I love you means I can never have you! You are engaged! Don’t you get it? This isn’t a quick fumble mess around for me Frank! You cannot use me for pleasure when I fucking love you!” She screamed out as me as I looked at her stunned. Did she really just say that? The one girl who I trust with my life has just admitted that she loves me and what did I do? I stood there stunned. Before I could say anything I was already seeing the back of her heading out of the door. I quickly chased after her but it was too late, the screeching of her tyres had confirmed that for me. I walked back to Sophia and Gerard as they carried on pushing the cart around the shop and to the checkout. They had already half packed by the time I’d walked back to them and I noticed the look Sophia gave Gerard who pulled me away and out of the shop leaving Sophia to finish up.
“Wanna talk about it?” He asked after he’d lit us both a cigarette up. I shook my head taking a deep breath of the stress stick resting my head against the rough concreate wall.
“I love that girl Gerard.” I looked over at him slowly. “I love her so much and I let her run away.” I closed my eyes replaying the situation in my mind thinking how I could have changed it. Maybe I shouldn’t have put her on the spot, I shouldn’t have spoken about it when she said she didn’t want too; but I had to know.
“You didn’t let her run away. She’ll be cooling off steam somewhere, and, then she’ll come back to the cottage and we will play the board games we’ve brought with us.” He reassured me as Sophia started to walk towards us. “You just have to decide what you want Frank. You can’t go back from this, but, if you want her then Amber needs to go.” Gerard looked at me seriously and I knew he was right.
“We should start heading back guys, everyone will be worried.” Sophia spoke after a while of silence. Gerard and I nodded finishing our cigarettes and walking over to the car they had come down in. I sat in the back staring out of the window on the whole 15 minute journey back, until we got to where I would be able to see her car and it wasn’t there.
“She’s not back.” I looked at the both, worry and panic automatically making their presence known.
“She’ll be letting off steam. We need something to tell the rest of them.” Gerard spoke out as he grabbed a few of the plastic carrier bags making his way towards the front door.
“Follow my lead.” Sophia said walking back into the cottage shouting her hey as a chorus followed.
“Thought you’d left us here to die.” Mikey shouted out dramatically as his face turned to confusion when he noticed how George-less we were. “What did you do to her?” He laughed, but you could hear the slight nervousness.
“Oh she got a works call and couldn’t get reception. Luckily as we come here often she knows a hotspot so that’s where she is.” Sophia lied with ease, as she looked around at them all “you of all people should know how George feels about her work. No rest for the wicked. She said we are to carry on with the rest of the night, after all we have the same number of people as we would with her, since Amber’s here she said she can take her place on the team.” Sophia carried on as she looked at me with the last bit, knowing full well what team she was meaning.

We’d been playing for what felt like forever without George when the door opened slowly and a snow covered George appeared through it. She took off her boots and coat hanging them up quietly as Sophia excused herself saying she was going to make sure her phone call went well. I caught a glimpse of the ginger haired best friend lean over to hug the small tired looking George no doubt filling her in on the cover story before she walked into the lion’s den. They made their way in slowly as I noticed her slap on a smile as she looked around the room, avoiding me altogether. It then hit me that that is the smile I have seen so many times in the past, normally when I’m with Amber, but, most recently when I was flirting with that girl at the bar she used to work. That was her fake smile and every time I’ve seen it seemed to flash through my mind.
“Nice for someone to join us. We are being thrashed right now.” Mikey laughed as he looked up at her. “We’ve had a team meeting and decided we want Amber to replace you.” Bob spoke out as Gerard, Sophia and I looked at each other panicked a little about the remark.
“Well ask her nicely and she might just do that.” She laughed as she made her way into the kitchen turning the kettle on to make her normal cup of coffee.
“Do she seem ok to you guys?” Bob asked watching the door to make sure she didn’t come out and catch us all talking about it. “She seems upset about something.” He carried on as we all shook our heads.
“It’s probably a bad business call that’s all.” Gerard shrugged as he grabbed the dice and rolling his turn.
“I’m going to head to bed guys, I’ve got a headache and don’t want to be all groggy for tomorrow. I mean gotta keep my strength up for all the present unwrapping I’m going to be doing.” She laughed a little before wishing us her usual goodnight and exiting up the stairs.

Notes