Touch Him Again, And I'll Kill You

Time is never on my side. If I am upset and I want to leave somewhere, time goes by so slowly, but if I am finally happy about something, it flies right by. It was time for me to go home, and I was dreading it. Gerard tried to reassure me over and over again that I would never be alone, but I couldn’t listen to it. If I believed him and it let me down, I would never forgive myself.
We were sat on his bed next to each other, folding my clothes and putting them in my bag.
It had been quiet for a while, neither of us knowing what to say. We were okay with the silence, though. It was best at this time. It was better than saying goodbye, because neither of us wanted to hear or say it.
I looked down at the misfits sweater in my hands. The one that Gerard had kept and worn to school. The one that I was wearing when I lost my virginity to him.
I looked up at him and gave him a small smile before placing it on his lap.
“Keep it.”
His big brown eyes met mine and his dark eyebrows furrowed.
“Why? This is your favorite sweater.”
I shrugged. “Well, you're my favorite person and I want you to have something of mine.”
His cheeks turned light pink and he smiled before placing the sweater on the bed next to him.
“Thanks, Frankie.”
The words we had shared were far and few, but we both knew that it was enough. This small little bubble we were in was going to pop soon, and we were just counting down the seconds until it happened. He would go back to visiting Mikey every day, and I would go back to my empty house. At least it was only until graduation. I would see him then. He was going for Lindsey and Jimmy, at least that’s what he would tell my mother if he saw her.
After I graduated, I had decided that I would tell my mom about Gerard and I. I don’t know if I can tell her what Max did to me. I don’t think I could tell anyone about it. I never spoke about it. It didn’t feel real to me, or at least, I just really didn’t want it to be. I know that what had happened wasn’t my fault. Gerard had made sure I knew it from the first day it happened.
I appreciated him so much. If I hadn’t called him when I did, I don’t know where I would be right now. Maybe I wouldn’t even be alive.
I shuddered at the thought.
“Okay, that’s the last of it.” Gerard’s voice cut into my thoughts. I looked down at the small black suitcase on top of his black blankets. It was full of everything I had brought to his house.
It felt uncomfortable to look at it. My clothes shouldn’t be packed, the should be in Gerard’s drawers with his clothes. They should be sprawled out on the floor with his because we had stripped each other and were to lazy to clean it up. They should be in the washer, being mixed with his laundry soap. They should be anywhere but where they were.
His long pale fingers pulled the zipper until the suitcase was closed, then he stood up.
“I’m going to go put this in the car.” He said quietly, then picked it up and left the room without another word.
I looked around the room, just breathing in the scent of Coffee and cigarettes. His smell. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t even want to walk out of this room. I wanted to stay here forever and live my life with Gerard.
“Just a few more weeks.” I said to myself out loud.
“Yeah, a few more weeks, then I’m never letting you leave again.” I jumped at the sound of Lindsey’s voice behind me.
She was leaning against the doorframe, still wearing her aquabats pajamas.
She slowly walked over to me and held her arms open.
I embraced her tightly. I was going to miss her incredibly. She had become like my sister. We had spent almost every day together whenever I wasn’t with Gee. It was going to be weird to go for weeks without talking to her.
“If you think for one single second that I’m not going to come and see you as often as I can, then you, Frank Iero, are absolutely crazy.”
I felt my eyes sting with tears and she shook her head.
“Don’t cry, Frank. It’s okay. It’s only for a few more weeks, then everything will go back to normal.”
I nodded and thanked her. She told me I had nothing to thank her for, but she was incredibly wrong. She had saved me just as much as Gerard had.
We heard the front door open, and slowly made our way down the stairs into the living room.
“I think that’s everything.” He said quickly.
Jimmy walked down the stairs behind us, and I realized that I was even going to miss him. I wasn’t close with him by any means, but I still had seen and talked to him every day. He wasn’t a bad person like everyone said he was. He just liked to do bad things, but I respected him greatly. He took amazing care of Lindsey and he truly loved her, and that was enough for me.
He looked sheepish before he finally walked over to me and wrapped me in a tight hug.
I returned it before he pulled away, quickly fixing his black hair.
“Frank, I know we really didn’t get to know eachother too well, but I just wanted to know that you’ve grown on me, and if anyone ever hurts you, tell me and I’ll kill em’.”
I chuckled lightly. “I’m gonna miss you too, man. Take good care of Linz.”
They both gave me sad smiles before Gerard and I walked out of the house and to the car. Before I got in the passenger seat, I glanced back at the house. I just really hoped these next few weeks would go by quickly. But like I said, time is never on my side.

Notes