You keep me sane

Frank pov


It's been about a year since Gerard...passed. Since then I've gotten out of the hospital and am now working at a small music shop up the street and am living in a small apartment. My hallucinations are still pretty bad, but I honestly don't think they'll ever go away. The only good thing was maybe once in a very long time I see Gerard. His perfect hazel eyes, the way his raven black hair frames perfectly around his face. I hate seeing him and love it at the same time. It's like slow torture. I finally see, to sort of get over him, and then he comes back making me go through the horrible process of seeing him again. It's not horrible actually seeing him because I always will remember everything about him, his looks and even just looking at him, it reminds me of his personality too. I don't know how to describe it. It's like when I see him again all of these different emotions go coursing through me, kind of like a dam breaking. It just happens all at once. I feel nostalgic and joyous, but then I feel angry and upset. I don't know how to explain it really, it just happens. It's not like we can communicate or anything though. That only happened the first time I ever saw him. It was in my bedroom right after his funeral. He only said a few things to me. It was more like his ghost than a hallucination. It's like after the funeral his spirit was set free, and it was really him, not just a figment of my imagination. All of these 'Gerards' I see now are not really him though and I know it. The first time I saw him, I could just feel that it was him and all of these other ones are just here to torture me. It's like there one true purpose it to torture me and I hate it. I would do anything to have him talk to me again it would give me a purpose in life, unlike the life I'm currently 'living' if you can even call it that.


Me and Mikey had become very good friends over the past year. We basically can tell each other anything now, since we've both been through the death of Gerard, we can basically count on each other to help. If I ever have a problem I tell him, and vise versa. It's really nice to have him around. He's a lot like Gerard and I feel like it helps me cope, having someone that's almost like him around. I've also become good friends with Jaime Preciado. We met at work and ever since my first day there, we've been friends. He even knows about Gerard, though we don't talk about him a lot, since it will basically make me start to cry. Jaime is awesome though. It's like he's my first real friend I've made without the help of anyone not including Gerard. It's nice to have another friend to count on.


I wake up the next morning and rush out of bed realizing im late for work. "Shit" I say as I pour myself a cup of coffee and chug it down before grabbing my keys and speeding down the road in my car. Once I get there, I immediately apologize to my boss before I go to the back of the room to tune some of the new guitars we just got in. While in the middle of my tuning, the door barges open and Jaime comes running in. "I heard you were late!" He yells gasping sarcastically and dramatically covering his mouth with his hand. "Yep. I overslept" I say not really in the mood to have a conversation with this overly hyper man. He just sits next to me and stares at me for a long time before I irritatedly snap at him. "What!" I snap throwing my hands up in the air. "Sorry I was lost in thought" he says standing up fast. "Aren't you supposed to be working too?" I question. "Oh yeah!" He says before running out of the room to go tend the front desk. I just shake my head and sigh as I continue to tune the guitars.


When my shift is over, I grab the store keys and lock up before walking out of the door and getting in my car, driving to the nearest bar. When I get there, I start ordering shots, chugging the, down as fast as possible so I can just forget about all of my worries in life. When I'm on my fourth glass, a man comes stumbling up to me. "Wanna come back to my place?" He slurs suggestively. "How about you leave me alone?" I slur back. "How about 'no'?" He grabs my hand and drags me into the bathroom. He pins me against the wall and starts roughly kissing me. The last time I'd ever kissed someone was Gerard so of course it reminded me of him. With tears coming to my eyes, I screamed at him. "Get off me!" I pushed him off, and then ran out of the door and went to my car and locked every door before laying my head on the steering wheel and sighing. I put my key in the car and drove back to my house.


Once I got home, I took out the key and unlocked the door, collapsing on my bed and thinking about repeating what happened today, tomorrow. It's all like a big cycle. Nothing new ever happens. Nothing changes. Sometimes I long to back in that hospital, with Gerard. When Our only problems were what bed we both slept in that night. I would do anything to have him back.

Notes

So here's the first chapter of the sequel I hope you like it!


Title comes from green days "boulevard of broken dreams"


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