I hate that I love you

"Can I help you?" a voice came from behind me breaking my train of thought. His voice sounded so angelic, it was smooth and sexy, yet still a little raspy. I turned around and my breathing hitched when I saw him. His hair was messy, shoulder length and black. It framed his pale face perfectly. He looked at me from under his long eyelashes with big, beautiful, hazel eyes. he was the sexiest creature I had ever seen. Frank! Get your inner gay in control! Jesus Christ...
"Sir?" he said, grabbing my attention. I didn't know what to say
"Erm... how much is this guitar?" was the only thing I could come up with without making an utter fool of myself, although I was on the completely right path for that! I internally groaned at myself.
"Follow me and I'll check." He said smiling and turning around and walking to the counter, my eyes falling onto his amazing ass. 'Stop it Frankie!' I thought to myself. I mentally slapped myself and followed him to his desk. He typed a few things into his computer and started making small talk with me to pass the time. God I wish he wouldn't have...
"So are you new here? I haven't seen you around before." He said looking up from the computer, straight at me, his eyes scanning me up and down,
"Uh yeah I er just moved. I'm Frank, Frank Iero."
"Cool, so what brings you to this shit tip of a town then?"He laughed
"Erm, it's along story" I said awkwardly looking down. I tensed up slightly, really just wanting to get out of there. sometimes I wonder how stupid I can get, I man why couldn't ii have just said ii was fine and continued to stare at the guitar I could never afford...
"Hey its cool you don't have to tell me you know. Oh how rude of me, my names Gerard Way by the way," He gave me a reassuring smile. His smile was so.. perfect! Ugh... Frank is time to put your inner gay away now! I smiled back feeling slightly awkward, one because I was so attracted to him and two because me and social interaction never went well.
"Sorry for the wait by the way. These computers are so shitty. So are you going to go to the local school then?" he asked.
"Erm yeah I'm starting tomorrow Actually."
"Cool, I go there too. It's pretty crappy but you will get used to it."
I laughed in response and he smiled. Oh how his smile was gorgeous, so fucking gorgeous.
"What grade are you in?" I asked him out of curiosity.
"11th"
"Same, I guess I'll be seeing you round then." I said, he looked up and smiled and then looked back down to the computer.
"Yeah I guess," he said keeping his eyes on the computer but still smiling. He was wearing some black skinny jeans, a smashing pumpkins t-shirt with his name tag on and some eyeliner. Fuck he was hot. I realised I was staring at him so I looked around the store awkwardly. There was a lot going on in this store but I liked it. It had a sort of musky smell but with a hint of books. It was very warm but quite dark. It had a rustic look to it. This place looked so cosy, why did it have to be ruined by a hot as fuck guy who I was really attracted to. God I really do hate my gayness, he's probably not even gay for god sakes! Ugh...
"Ah here we go," he said braking my train of thought, again. "The guitar is $900."
"Holy shit," I said in shock, although I wasn't really to surprised after looking at the guitar again.
"Yeah I know pricy but the things a beauty. When no one's around I'll play it for fun, it's amazing."
"I bet! I'm going to have to save up forever for that. But trust me I will get it," I laughed. He smiled and stood awkwardly. There was a very awkward silence. I needed to get out of there. He was too damn cute, I was very awkward and I couldn't risk getting close to people "Wait two secs." I said so I could end this awkward moment.
I walked over to the CD section and picked out a few CDs that I didn't have yet but wanted. I had saved quite a lot of money up on my card but nowhere near enough to get that guitar. I placed them on the counter along with the comics I had picked out earlier. His face turned into a smile as he scanned them.
"You've got a nice taste in music my friend, and you like comics I might have to spend a little more time getting to know you." He laughed
"Why thank you." I said avoiding his 'getting to know me' statement. He smiled and bit his lip. My breathing hitched again and he clearly noticed by the smirk that was playing on his face. I think he could tell I was gay... fuck.
"I - I've - erm got to go," I stuttered grabbing my stuff from the counter "I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, hey dude come find me, if you like I'm sure my mates wouldn't mind you hanging round with us." No.No.No.NO.NO!!
"Yeah sure thanks." I said as I basically ran out of the store. He obviously liked me, which means it's going to be harder to get rid of him. God damn it frank! You can't get close to people! You know what happens! Ugh. I don't know why but I actually felt slightly comfortable around him, which made it worse. It was weird and still very awkward though, but that was my fault. I sighed and walked to meet my mum.
I was a few minutes late and still seen she was there. "See I told you that you wouldn't go without me." I said with a smirk playing on my face.
"Oh shut up lets go," she laughed gesturing for me to follow her "I found this small place while I was walking around it looked cosy."
"The only information I need I that it sells pizza."
"Yes it sells pizza, you flippin addict!" we both laughed and I followed her. After a few minutes she stopped outside this very small place that really you'd only notice if you were looking for it. We walked in and the smell of mozzarella hit my nose. I took a deep breath taking in the scent. My mum looked at me and laughed shaking her head.
"What?" I said laughing. She just chuckled and shook her head again. We were lead over to our seats and we ordered a mozzarella to share. We just talked about random stuff that came to our mind, you know, as you do with your mother. Then our food came food came and it was shear bliss. I think I love pizza too much... I love it so much I think that -
"Oh hey Frank." my thoughts were interrupted by a voice I recognised. I looked up to see Gerard walking over. For fuck sake...
"Uh, Gerard, hey." I replied as he sat at the table next to us. Why? There's plenty of tables here, please just go away! My mum gave me that 'who is this?' look but I just ignored it.
"I didn't expect to see you here. Not many people know about this place. Especially since you just moved." Gerard said.
"Oh uh yeah well we just seen it dose pizza. I love pizza. So we decided to drop in. I thought you were working."
"I'm going to go to the bathroom I'll be back in a few minutes." My mum interrupted giving me that 'he's cute you should go for it' look she winked at me and I rolled my eyes, Gerard chuckled slightly. Did he just see that? Fuck. My mum could see I had an attraction to him. Stupid hormones wanting me to get involved with other people. Fuck. "Yeah but I'm on my break. I'm guessing that was your mum?"
"Yeah..." I replied he looked at me and smiled. I looked down to hide my blush. My mum was gone for a long time and I knew exactly what she was doing. She's giving me space so I can try and hook up with Gerard. Ugh. "I'm sorry about her by the way. She can be a little er suggestive."
"Nah it's ok, she seems nice." He said with a smile. Why was his smile so gorgeous? Why was he so fucking hot? Ugh. He ordered his food and my mum was still gone. Omg what was taking her so long? I knew she wanted me to hook up with Gerard. A waitress came over and took his order standing between us. I took this as an opportunity to text my mum, and to distract myself from the gorgeous man sitting basically next to me.
"Hey frank?" he said after a few moments, I tensed up as his voice startled me a bit.
"Yeah?" I replied turning to him.
"Am I making you awkward or anything? I mean I could like leave or sit somewhere else. I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me." He said sounding a bit anxious. He could see I was a bit anxious and tense. Say yes, you are, please go away. That's all you need to say Frank and he's gone.
"Nah your fine, trust me." what the fuck mouth, can you not take simple orders! ugh...
"Good, you just seemed a little tense that's all." he said giving me a half, almost reassuring smile.
I just smiled back. my mum finally came out. I glared at her as soon as she caught my eye, she just grinned and looked proud of herself. I was going to kill her...
"Why don't we get the bill mum?" I said pushing forward the point of I didn't like him. Which I knew deep down was a lie, but lying to myself was the thing I do best...
"What's the rush Frank?" she said grinning, saying a little to loud, trying to get Gerard involved. God I hate her sometimes, I love her with all my heart but I still hate her...
"I'm tired." I said with a slight snarl. She laughed and took the hint and got the bill. I told her to give me the keys and I'd wait back at the car. After some hesitation she gave me the keys and I got the hell out of there, not saying goodbye to Gerard. I couldn't get close to Gerard. This is a flipping disaster I can tell he likes me, and I'm getting that 'I like you more than a friend' vibe too but he's good at hiding it, me on the other hand... it's quite easy to sense when a guy if flirting with you. Since being flirted guy to guy is less 'normal' in this society when it dose happen you can tell. Its quite a big difference from how you act with your friends. I sighed as I approached the car. I'm not handling thing with Gee very well. Wait, Gee? What? Why did I call him that? For fuck sake. I wish my gay brain would just stop sometimes. Why couldn't I just be normal... I sighed and got into the car felling the warmness wrap around me and calm me. I sunk down in my seat waiting for my mum. I mean I didn't even want any friends never mind a boyfriend. Again, I knew that was a complete and utter lie, but at least if I lie to myself I wont get hurt again, right?

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