I hate that I love you

The car was silent as my old town sped out of view, becoming a blur. My mum knew I didn't want to talk, so the ride was silent as I stared out of the window. I rested my chin on the car door and stared out the window, watching the blur of objects fly past. I turned on the radio to make things seem slightly less uncomfortable. It was a few hours before the new town came into view. We moved a lot, I was sort of used to it by now. We'd move, my mum would find a guy, they would take it too fast, they'd get into an argument and we would move again. That's how it always seemed to work out. I've never really had any friends, never had any time to make them. I would always start to get settled and we would move again. Plus with my experiences I don't really trust many people anyway, to be honest I hardly even trust my mum. Enemies were one thing but friends, they knew all your weak spots, they knew how to hurt you the worst. I had always been tricked by people seeming nice and innocent, I let them get close to me and then they would turn on me, making my life even more of a hell than it already was. I was always bullied a lot so I'm kind of used to it by now. I was... different, in a lot of ways. I was the broke one, the gay one (yes I was openly gay), the sad one, the punk one etc. Most people didn't agree with the way I acted or how I dressed or my lifestyle. I knew I acted like an arsehole, but that made it all the more fun! Many small streets passed by as we drove down the main road. Out of all the towns in New Jersey I've lived in this one looked like the shittiest. We finally pulled down into a small cul-de-sac. It didn't look like the friendliest of neighbourhoods but I've been in worse situations. The house itself looked alright but the surroundings, well that was another story... Before we came here I looked this place up. It's actually quite a big town. Apparently some of the houses round here go for a lot of money. And then there the one me and my mum would be living in... We weren't very wealthy so I didn't really think I should have expected anything else. I had a look at the wealthiest family's in the area during my search. There were 4 of them in the house hold, they were called the Ways if I remember correctly. One of the parents was a very well respected lawyer, one of the best in the state. The other was a very successful business man who owed shares in so many successful companies it would take you years to count! I wish my family was that lucky...     "Well Frankie, we're here." My mum said to me as she turned off the car engine. "Mmhmm." My mum sighed "Frankie don't be like that. I know it's hard but... ugh you might like it here." "Until we move again." I said under my breath but I think she heard. "Come on Frankie let's just get settled in. Maybe we could go into town later see what's here? You know I want what's best for you and back where we used to live just wasn't it. It looks lovely here. Come one let's get all these boxes inside and I'll take you out for pizza eh?" I couldn't help but crack a small smile, I love pizza. "Fine," I said sliding reluctantly out of the car. "But only for pizza." She chuckled slightly and went up to unlock the front door of our new house. We didn't have many boxes as we were quite poor, but that didn't really bother me. All of the main furniture was already there, it had been dropped off earlier in the day. The front door led into a small hallway with two doors leading off, one into the living room and one into the kitchen, and some stairs at the end. I went straight upstairs with my box and walked into, what I thought, must be my room. It had a navy blue carpet and greyish walls. I put away my clothes in the dresser and closet that had already been set up. I didn't have many clothes, just enough though. Most of my clothes were just band t-shirts, black skinny jeans and black hoodies. Yes, I know, I just loved colour. I hung up a load of band posters on the walls which covered almost every inch, it was a small room so it didn't take much. I got out all of my books, comics, CDs and movies and put them on some shelves next to my bed. After looking through my CDs for a few minutes I finally took out my green day CD and put it on loud on my speaker. I lied down on the bed and just stared at the ceiling. I really did hate moving, I've never really had a life because of it. To be honest, I guess I don't really need one, I mean I don't trust people; with my experiences its best to stay well away from everyone. That had become pretty easy for me, no one wanted to hang out with the gay, punk kid anyway. I really don't think I could ever let anyone in, not unless they were really special. I sighed and twiddled my thumbs. I guess I should be used to it now right? I mean this is been my life for years now. Making friends was just something I could never really do. Growing up with no friends is hard though, I mean I'm a teenager, I'm supposed to have friends, right? At least I've been able to be myself, I feel like if I had friends I wouldn't be me. But I've never had friends so how am I to tell if that's statement is true... After about 20 minutes of contemplating my boring, lonely life I got up and walked over to the one box I hadn't unpacked yet. I opened it up and took out my guitar, Pansy (yes, I named my guitar, get over it, I'm lonely okay?) It was quite battered and covered in band stickers but I still loved it. I brushed my fingers across the strings, just being able to hear its melodic tune. I started to play along to 21 guns by green day, singing along. they were one of my favourite bands and I learned how to play guitar by watching Billie play, Green Day were an inspiration to me. Memories started to float into my mind as the song played, I felt a tear in my eye and shook my head. I put my guitar in the corner of the room and wiped my eye. This was so stupid, I hate memories. I pulled out a few photographs and put them on top of my dresser feeling my eyes tear up again. The pictures were of my dad. One had me and him in it together. He was in his army uniform and was holding me when I was 2. He had died when I was 7 and I still had never really properly gotten over it, neither had my mum for a matter of fact. He had died in Afghanistan due to a road side bomb. Wow I was so emotional, I might as well of been a teenage girl on her period for crying out loud! stupid emotions... I wiped my eyes and backed away from the pictures, changing the song and unpacking the rest of the box. "Your rooms getting there," my mum said with a small smile on her face, leaning in the door way. I nodded and returned the simile "come on lets go into town." I followed her out to the car. The town centre was only a 10 minute drive away so we weren't in the car for long. "I have a few errands to run. I need to get some bits and bobs for the house, why don't you have a wonder round? You have your card and your phone right?" my mum asked as we got out of the car. "Yeah." We started walking and found what looked like the town square. "Ok meet me back here in say 2 hours? Then we will go for pizza. Sound good?" "Of course it sounds good,  you mentioned pizza." She chuckled and kissed my forehead. "Stay safe see you back here in 2 hours, okay? Don't be late or I'll go for pizza without you!" "I'll hold you to that." I said as I walked away, she laughed and headed in the opposite direction. I wasn't really sure what to do to be honest. I wandered round for a good hour scanning the shops looking for anything interesting. I was slowly walking by when I passed, what looked like, a book store. I though why not and went in. It wasn't just a book store; it was like my dream store. Comics, books, CDs, posters, instruments, I was in awe. I had a  look around and picked out a few comics that I wanted. This place was amazing, it was so... rustic and retro. I liked it, it seemed so calming. it had like a mini café inside and everything. there was couches, a TV, a place to try out the instruments, there was literally everything. this place is like my dream shop for god sake! I continued admiring the store walking around, still in awe, when I spotted a guitar on the back wall. Oh how it was stunning! It reminded me of Billie Joe Armstrong's guitar, I had always wanted a guitar like his. Billie Joe was one of my idols if you couldn't tell. I made my way over casually trying to hide my excitement. I ran my fingers across the strings hearing a beautiful melody. "Can I help you?"

Notes

Okay so this is the new version of my other story. I think this is better written. I hope ypu agree! Please tell me what you think :) x