The Majesty of Choice

Gerard only wakes up because he can feel Frank playing with his fingers. He knows its Frank, because the hands that are holding his are more familiar than anything in the world. Gerard sighs very contentedly, and he stays there. He pretends to be asleep for several more minutes, just enjoying the feeling. Frank plays with his fingers very delicately, tracing patterns along them. Gerard can feel Frank’s breath the moment before Frank’s lips press against the back of his hand. At this, Gerard decides to wake up. His eyelids flutter open, and he sees Frank, not having noticed yet that Gerard is awake. Gerard pulls his own arm to him, which surprises Frank, but along with his arm he pulls Frank too, and that’s when he kisses him. Very slowly. Softly.

Is this what it will always be like to wake up next to Frank? He’s sure he could get used to this quite readily.

“Good morning,” Gerard says, in a morning sort of voice that doesn’t sound like his own but doesn’t sound like someone else’s either. It’s not even light out yet, it’s not really morning per se. The space below the curtains doesn’t expose anything that would be considered light so much as it is a very subtle shade of grey that allows Gerard to see the silhouette of Frank’s face.

“Good morning. You are more beautiful now than you were last night.”

“You’re full of shit,” Gerard says, and Frank snorts with some of the most unattractive laughter ever, which Gerard is very attracted to. He gets a warm feeling in his stomach that feels so comfortable that it almost doesn’t feel nice at all. They kiss. And they kiss. And they kiss. For a really long time. Every few minutes or so, they’ll stop kissing and then look at each other for a few seconds before they kiss again.

“I want to stay here with you forever,” Frank whispers into Gerard’s hair.

“Okay.”

Eventually, Gerard settles himself into Frank’s arms and they talk. It has to be for hours. They talk about everything. It’s the first time they’ve ever felt like they have all the time in the world. Nowhere to be, nothing to do, no one to interrupt. Just Frank and just Gerard.

They talk about growing up. Gerard talks a lot about Mikey, and Frank tells him about training alongside knights. Gerard tells him about meeting Patrick, about how much he hates his step sisters. Frank remembers fragments he had of his father. They talk about stupid things as well. Frank really likes math, which Gerard finds appalling. Gerard got in a lot of trouble as a kid for playing on this one guys farm, and he has been forbidden to even be a hundred feet near it. It was an order actually, he just can’t tell Frank that. At least he never got his foot stuck in a fox trap. Frank used to be afraid of the dark, so he had a lamp lit all night. Gerard’s past twenty and still hasn’t quite gotten over his hatred of vegetables. Frank loves, like lovespotatoes. Gerard has never really gotten over his bear Mittens who drowned in that lake so long ago. Gerard’s never seen an ocean, and Frank promises to take him someday.

“I love you,” Frank says. Gerard feels so warm right now. He’s so soft, and comfortable. He’s so lazy and hypnotized by how nice he feels right now that he almost forgets to stop himself from saying those words back. Almost. Gerard hums softly, loves Frank more with every breath he takes into his lungs.

At that, there’s a knock on the door. They both freeze, slightly in surprise, and also slightly in fear, because they’re both still naked, and in bed, and it’s got to be close to 10 in the morning, which is definitely too late for anyone to be sleeping in. Well, maybe not here at the castle, but Gerard grew up on a farm, so it’s late. Gerard scoots a little bit away from Frank, which is awful for the both of them. They have a silent conversation wherein Gerard’s face asks if he should hide, and Frank’s eyes tell him to stop being ridiculous. They make a grand gesture of making sure the blankets cover them completely, before Frank finally says, “yes?”

The door opens very timidly and a servant, an older looking woman, walks in with a tray of food. She doesn’t even really look at them until she’s about to set the tray on the table in the corner of the room, but as soon as she sees Gerard, she turns a shade of purple Gerard did not know was achievable by a human face. In a similar fashion, he turns a pale shade of pink, though he blushes so much nowadays that it doesn’t even feel like it would make top ten.

“Sorry, your highness!” she says hurriedly, in an accent Gerard’s not familiar with, “you didn’t ring for breakfast you see, and I was just meaning to bring you your food, and sees that you was alright, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Frank says. He doesn’t acknowledge the fact that Gerard is just lying there beside him, clearly neither of them wearing clothes, or at least, neither of them a shirt. This is not how any person in the world would expect to find their Prince on his very first night back, but this is what this poor old woman is seeing. Frank’s voice is very cool when he says, “Thank you though, I appreciate you bringing us food.” Us.

“The King is asking to see the highness, sir. He said alone, sir,” she says, and she looks very eager to scurry away and probably hide in a closet for several hours somewhere, because how are you supposed to react when the prince that you serve hasn’t even gotten out of bed, and there a man in his bed with him. Gerard can imagine Edgar telling someone he wanted to speak with Frank alone, and no will have seen the relevance in that statement until just now when Gerard is literally in Frank’s bed.

“Of course he does. Well, thank you, you’re dismissed,” Frank says. Gerard just watches. She bows but it’s almost just a nod, and she hurries out of the door, closing it softly. He’s never really seen Frank interact with a servant before, but it’s kind of weird. He’s never really seen anyone interact with a servant at all, because he grew up poor and didn’t know anyone with one. He knows that Frank is kind to his very bone, but it’s still nice to see him being kind to a servant. It would be very unlike Frank to be unkind to anyone, but he can so very clearly see Edgar yelling at anyone in this castle for not being able to read his wants and needs from his mind.

“You have people bring food to you in bed,” Gerard says the second the room is quiet and Frank laughs at him before hitting him with a pillow. Gerard keeps laughing at him while Frank continues to hit him with pillows, but he spices it up by hitting him with a different pillow each time. Eventually he ends up on top of Gerard, kissing him despite the fact that Gerard is laughing through it.

“Get off of me,” Gerard laughs, “I want some of that food that people bring to you in bed.”

“Okay, like, they’ll bring the food no matter what, I can tell them that I’ll just come get it from the kitchen, if that’s what you want?” He doesn’t stop laughing at Frank, but he doesn’t really do anything about actually trying to get Frank off of him. “What am I supposed to do, just like, not eat the food they bring? You’re awful, I hate you.”

“You have a bell,” Gerard says, mockingly.

“Stop it,” Frank says, and he makes Gerard stop by kissing him. That’s all they’ve done this morning, but that’s okay for the both of them. Frank thinks for a second that maybe, maybe possibly, possibly maybe Gerard might be interested in repeating last night. They are, after all, undressed for the occasion.

“Can we-”

“Yeah,” Gerard interrupts. If Frank hadn’t asked, then Gerard would have. Frank likes that answer.

It’s about twenty minutes later, after a lot of rolling around and heavy breathing and laughing at each other, when they pull the breakfast tray onto the bedspread with them. Frank watches Gerard as he struggles to get jam on his toast. Frank smiles at him, forgetting about the apple he was eating. He just looks at Gerard, with his pretty eyelashes and his soft skin.

“Why are you looking at me like that,” Gerard asks, feeling self-conscious, and really wishing he was wearing a shirt. Or pants. Frank is eating him up in the way that he is not eating his apple.

“You’re my favorite thing in the entire world to look at. Sky, stars, trees, ocean, fuck all of that stuff. You’re it.”

Gerard gets an evil little glimmer in his eyes. “You have… okay hair.”

Frank actually opens his mouth in shock, and he’s never felt surer of himself in his life that this is the person he’s supposed to spend every second of his time with indefinitely. “Fuck you!”

He beams back at Frank, before taking a bite of his now well-jammed toast. Yeah, this is what he wants. He wants to be with Gerard all day, every day. He’s got a Kingdom to run, and he’s not as angry about that as he used to be, but he would give it up any day if it meant just being able to have infinity here and now with Gerard.

“So, Frank.”

“Yes, Gerard?” he says.

“So, uh, not to like, I don’t know, kill the mood, but uh, are you going to take me to the hall of records today?” Frank had neglected to show Gerard where it was, possibly by mistake or possibly intentionally, but either way, Frank did promise to let him go there today. It’s not like Gerard’s going to get extraordinarily angry if Frank decides to put it off until tomorrow, he’ll just be worried that “tomorrow” will turn into never.

“Yeah, yes, of course,” Frank says. He definitely didn’t forget, he was just really focused on the fact that this has been the best morning of his entire life. That was more important. He’s worried, beyond imagine, that once Gerard gets what he needs out of Frank, once they find this fairy, that Gerard will leave him behind. He’ll go back to Frell, and it’ll be over. Whatever this is, whatever they had, Gerard might only want it until he gets what he set out to do, whatever that may be.

That’s probably Frank’s biggest fear. That he likes Gerard in a different way than he’s liked. He’s worried that it’s only temporary for Gerard. It’s stupid, because Frank has been shown proof that it’s not the case, but he’s also worried in the back of his mind that Gerard only uses Frank’s love for him as a tool to get what he wants. He used Frank to get him to Giantville, has used Frank to get here and to the hall of records, will continue to use him until he no longer needs Frank’s services.

That’s ridiculous though. Right? Gerard looks at him like no one else has ever looked at Frank before. That’s the kind of expression no in the world could fake. There’s something in his face, like you could climb right into his irises and feel the way that Gerard likes Frank. Gerard hasn’t said it yet, and Frank has noticed it every time Gerard’s come close, but he think there’s a very real possibility that Gerard loves him back.

“Good,” Gerard nods, his voice doesn’t entirely reach Frank’s ears. “He’s such a slippery fairy, I’m worried that he’ll have moved by the time we get to his house, and then I’ll have to follow a new trail, and-”

“Hey, Gerard,” Frank says, not meaning to interrupt, but his mind is racing.

“Yes?” He asks, concerned with the sudden tone of Frank’s voice.

“So, there’s, like, I don’t know how to say it. We kind of talked about it before, but I just, like… after you find this fairy, I want you to stay with me, Gerard. I’m not going to tell you that you have to or anything, I know how much you hate being ordered around, but like, I want you to stay. More than anything in the entire world actually. I want you to stay here, and I want your friends to stay here, and I want you to get your brother and Ray too, and I just… I want your life to be my life too.”

“Okay…” Gerard says. He’s processing. He needs a moment or two to find what he wants to say. Frank blinks at him expectantly. He looks terrified, possibly unaware that he was going to say as much as he just did. “I… want to stay with you too. I’m not sure how that will look, but… we’re like, we’re not going to be apart. I don’t even think I could be apart from you.”

Frank sighs, relief or tension or something falling out of him. “Okay, yeah. As long as, well as long as we’re still together. I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want to ever say goodbye.”

“You’re my best friend,” Gerard says, “don’t tell Patrick I said that, it would kill him. But you’re my best friend, my favorite person to be around like at all, the only person who I could talk to forever and not get bored. You’re more than anyone, Frank, you know that.”

“I’m dumb, aren’t I?”

Gerard smiles at him. “It’s alright. I like it when you get all vulnerable. Makes it feel a little less like I’m a peasant corrupting royalty.”

“I think perhaps that I’m royalty corrupting a peasant,” Frank says.

“Me? No, I’m incorruptible.”

“Pretty sure I corrupted you a lot last night. And this morning. And I might corrupt you some more tonight.”

Gerard makes an annoyed sound, “if that’s what you think.”

“Come over here and kiss me so that I can corrupt you.”

Gerard looks at him like he’s crazy, and Frank wonders if he actually believes that Frank didn’t at least a little bit corrupt him. Before Frank, Gerard had never even known he could like boys. He never would have kissed anyone before Frank either. Frank really shot an arrow through Gerard’s innocence and then stomped on it to make sure it was dead. But, in all fairness, Gerard was Frank’s first everything too. Mutual corruption. Frank’s innocence never did much for him anyway.

Gerard complies, allowing open mouthed kisses that feel a little half-baked but are very nice anyway. The hall of records can wait a little while. Frank’s uncle can wait a little while. The Kingdom can wait a little while. Frank just needs to be here.

How has Frank managed to break down all of Gerard’s walls? He built all of those walls so that no one could get to him. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, didn’t want to be hurt by anyone, so he constructed a fifteen-foot wall on every side, but Frank has pushed them over like they were nothing. It was impossible a month ago. A few days ago, even. Liking Frank this much was just a dream. Not caring what anyone thought, it was all an idea. In that regard, things haven’t entirely changed. He does care, very deeply. He cares about even that servant who saw them in bed together. Everything matters. But it doesn’t matter more than Frank. That’s where he’s landed after all of the dust that the walls made when they fell. He cares what other people think, but he doesn’t care more than he likes the way Frank holds him. He cares about his soul, but not as much as he cares about Frank kissing him. He cares so much about Frank that he doesn’t have anything more to give in the way of hating himself for wanting it.

“Frank,” Gerard says softly against Frank’s mouth.

“Mm?” Frank doesn’t say words so much as he makes a sound against Gerard’s mouth.

“A little while ago you asked if I would ever be okay with us. Like okay with you being a boy. Okay with liking you. Okay with what it all means.”

“Yeah,” Frank says, he doesn’t seem to have really heard what Gerard had said, so he pushes Frank off of him only to look him in the eyes.

“I’m okay with it.”

“I like it when you get all vulnerable,” Frank says, his eyes very soft, like he’s trying to keep them open and trying to close them at the same time. It’s the greatest thing Frank’s ever heard in his entire life, and he doesn’t know what to do with it. They both smile a little too much for it to be a very good kiss.

Notes