Their Hearts Don't Beat Like Ours
Chapter Six
*2 days later*
I suppose it began as any normal day, minus the slight disappointment of Frank’s warmth not being in my arms. He’s in Pittsburg, but at least he’ll be back tomorrow morning. I can survive the next 24 hours.
I’ve missed him, and we haven’t stopped texting. I hope I wasn’t annoying him, but I’m not used to not seeing him every day. It’s weird. After trying to watch different movies, trying to work on my comics, trying to draw random crap, nothing could keep me mind of Frank. As a last resort, I decide to go to Mikey’s.
I arrive to a shirtless Mikey with his arms open for a hug. I let him squeeze me for a second before pulling away and fixing my shirt.
“No, Frank?” Mikey asks, I then explain to him where he is and we go to sit on the couch and we talk for awhile until Mikey brings up his plans for tonight.
“So, I wish Frank was here to come, but Pete’s throwing a party. You should come, though.”
“I don’t think so, Mikey.”
“Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun!”
I give it a thought. The alternative is to go sit at home and do nothing but think about Frank and drink coffee. Yeah, it may be not be fun, but it may be.
“Okay,”
Mikey cheers and tells me to go back home to get ready, basically kicking me out of the house.
The first thing I do after getting home is text Frank to let him know, I know “he’s just a friend”, but we both know we’re together, just without the label. I want him to be okay with it. Which he is more than okay.
“Wish I could go, I’m glad you’re going out. Be safe. See you tomorrow, babe.” Reads Frank’s text. I smile to myself at the word babe. Never gonna get over that.
After, I’m cleaned and ready, I head out to Pete’s. I haven’t been to one of these alone in so long. It looks normal. A smell of cigarettes, weed and alcohol mixed fills the air, and people are sweaty and dancing or just talking. I quickly find the bar, and poor myself an orange juice. If anyone ask, I act tipsy and say it has vodka in it. The same thing for the past year.
I turn around and see the one thing I didn’t want to see.
Lindsey. She’s leaning against the staircase, staring at me. She’s a little drunk. I can tell by the red her cheeks look. Her hairs still fine, and her lipstick is still intact. Telling me she’s had enough alcohol to be brave, but not enough to be stupid and not know what she’s doing.
She’s wearing the same outfit she always wears. Normally, no matter how many times I’ve seen it, my dick would twitch and I’d want to pin her to a wall. Not this time. I don’t know if it’s because I’m gay or because I hate her. I’ve barely given her a second thought this past month unless someone has mentioned her or I saw something of hers around the flat.
She’s walking this way, slowly. Her face looks hesitant. Fuck. I wish she’d change her mind. She’s right infront of me. Shit.
“Hey.” Lindsey speaks, quietly.
“What?” I snap.
Lindsey’s eyes widen at my tone slightly. “I thought I’d say hi.”
“You never came and got your shit.”
“I know, I was scared to see you. Did you thro,”
“No, it’s in boxes in the hall closet.” I cut her off. I’m done with this conversation.
“All of it? Even my clothes?”
“Especially your clothes. I don’t want Frank thinking I’m still hung up on you, because that’s completely false.” Shit. I mentioned Frank. Fuck, what do I say?
“Who the fuck is Frank?” She ask. She has no right too. Especially not with that tone.
I decide to tell her the truth, “Frank’s the guy who told me he saw you going upstairs with a guy. Frank is also my..” I pause. He’s not my boyfriend. Fuck. What do I say? “He’s my friend. That’s not so much just a friend.”
I look over to Lindsey, her eyebrows are furrowed and she’s glaring at me.
“What? Not so much a…” Her eyes widen. “Since when do you like dick?” She shouts, a little too loud.
“Since when you do have a right to know?” I retort.
She just stares at with a disgusted and shock look on her face.
She goes to the other side of the counter, and I don’t turn around to face her. Lindsey’s probably getting herself more liquor.
She comes back around, and stops in front of me. “I’ll be round for my shit.” I just nod and she leaves me alone. Finally. Well, everyone will know about Frank now. But, that’s okay. People would figure out eventually anyways. I stand around for another few minutes, drinking my juice and bobbing my head to the music. I’m too lazy to go find Mikey or Pete or anyone else I know.
It’s then when I start to feel lightheaded. Not much, only slightly, but the feeling slowly gets worst until my head starts to throb and I realize I’m not standing very well.
My vision starts to go blurry.
And I start to fall, but an arm catches me. All I can see Is black, white and red. I hear laughing, and I hear someone pouring something in a cup really close to me. What is happening? Maybe my sugars low. I manage to get my drink to my mouth and chug the rest. I didn’t think I had that much left? I couldn’t even taste it. It’s like I was drinking straight water.
That’s the last thought I have before complete blackness.
****************************
“Mmm, Gerard. Wake up, Gerard.”
I feel numb, but cold. And I can tell I’m naked. And I feel something wet on my dick.
“Oh, God. Good morning to you too.” I moan out as my dick gets blown. I get a hum in reply. I look out the curtains. It’s barely morning. Maybe 5 or 6. I don’t to much on the subject though,
It continues for a few more minutes, and I feel the pit in my stomach. “I’m gonna cum, shit!”
Then my dick is being pulled out of the mouth. I whimper.
“Frank, I said I’m about to cum. Go back.” I hear a snicker. One that I know well, but doesn’t belong to Frank. I shoot up and stare into the brown eyes I once loved.
Lindsey. Naked. I look around. We’re in my room. Our old room. What the fuck happened? Why is she here? What’s going on?
Lindsey sits up and straddles me. I stare up at her, wide eyed and scared.
“Morning, baby. But… my names not Frank. Awkward.” She giggles. She fucking giggles. I have no memory of last night.
“You said it a few times last night too, it sucked. That was really rude of you baby. It made you cum though. So, maybe I should think him.”
“Lindsey, what the fuck did you do?”
“Awh, you don’t remember our magical night? Well, you pretty much fell into my arms. So I took you back here, and you fucked me oh so good, baby. You were amazing.” She bends down and kiss my cheek, in which I push her off. My dick has gotten completely soft now, and so Lindsey starts to grind her bare, wet vagina on it, something that would normally turn me on, but doing nothing. It maybe the situation, but something tells a straight guy would still get turned on by this no matter what. I grasp her shoulders and push to the side of me, immediately getting off the bed in search for my boxers.
“Out. Get the fuck out. Right now. And don’t come back. I don’t know what you did to me, but it wasn’t me doing that. Get your shit right now, or it’s going in the trash. You have 10 minutes to be out of my life for good, Lindsey.”
She sits up, shrugging her shoulders. What is her deal? “I already got what I wanted.” I want to ask what she means, but I know she just means sex, getting revenge for me dumping her or whatever else runs through her sick mind.
She finds her clothes and I look away as she gets out of bed and gets dressed. I watch walk to the hall closet and carry a box to her car. Shit. I hope my cars at Pete’s. I continue to monitor her movements, not trusting her with anything.
When she’s done, she stands at the entrance with the door open, I walk over to close but she stops me. “Thanks for last night, baby.” She winks and then closes the door her self. I cringe. And yell out. Fuck. What did she do to me. Goddamnit.
I fucked Lindsey. Did I like it? She said I called out Frank’s name. That’s a good sign. Even drunk or high, or whatever the fuck I was, I was still thinking I was fucking Frank. That doesn’t mean this makes me straight. I clearly didn’t like it, being sober. But still. There’s two things that won’t leave my head.
I cheated on Frank.
I probably drank. Alcohol.
I run to the bathroom, and immediately turning the hot water all the way up. I scrub my body until I go raw. Desperately trying to remove any trace of Lindsey or boose. I reluctantly leave the shower when I can’t stand the freezing water any longer and instantly climb in my bed and cry. I cry because I have to tell Frank. Soon. I cry because he’s gonna hate. I cry because a year sober is down the drain. I cry everything thing happens to me.
It’s seems like hours of crying later, there’s a knock on the door. I don’t get up. I don’t care who it is. It knocks again. Go away. I don’t want you here. It doesn’t knock again, but I hear the door open. Who opens the door for themselves that I know?
“Gerard? Are you here? Baby?” The voice belongs to Frankie. I smile slightly, before remembering the state I’m in. I let out a loud sob and Frank must hear it because his feet run up the stairs quickly and into my room. My back is turned to the door.
“Gee? Wha- Are you okay?” Frank says, his voice sounding terrified.
He walks towards me and places his hand on my cheek.
“Frankie… I’m so sor-sorry.” I say, stuttering because of the tears. I clear my throat before speaking again. “I promise I didn’t want it. I don’t remember anything. Frankie, please don’t leave me.” The sobs become hysterical again. My chest hurts. My eyes feel like they’re bleeding. I don’t know what I’ll do if Frank leaves me. He’s became a need in my life.
“Gerard… What happened?”
Oh, God. I’m gonna be alone. I have to tell him. Shit. I take a few deep breathes, calming down, forcing the tears back.
“Lindsey was at the party last night, and I woke up to her naked, sucking me off.”
Frank’s eyes widen. “Gerard, I can’t believe you…” Here it comes. I’m alone now. “You drank! Over a year sober! Gee, what the fuck?!” What? What?! He’s not… I’m confused.
“I didn’t drink on purpose. It was more than then that, I think she slipped something in my drink.”
“What? Okay, get dressed, we’re going to the hospital. I wanna know everything you remember from beginning to finish on the drive.” He stops and gently rest his head against mine. “And I’m not mad at you. One, even if you were coherent, we’re not together. I technically would have no right to be mad. Two, you didn’t know what was happening.” He kissed me gently. “But I guess you know you still like girls.”
“Frank, she told me I was yelling your name.” Franks lips curl into a giant grin and then to smirk. He kisses me again and stands up. “Good” is all he says before walking out the door. That fucker.
I get dressed, still confused on why we’re going to the hospital, but I don’t ask questions. I call Pete after Frank notices my cars not home, but my keys are. Mikey comes and get us, and we leave from there. I tell Frank everything on the drive. When we get there, Frank basically pulls me into the ER and to the desk. He speaks before the lady can.
“Hi, uhm, he has reason to believe he was drugged last night, and so he needs a screening ASAP. It’s been about 12 hours. Right, babe?” The last part is meant for me.
“Yeah, I think so.” I reply.
“Okay, sir. Let me see proof of insurance, and we will go set a up a test. It should be about 30 minutes.”
I get out my wallet and hand her my health insurance card, she does some typing and I take it back. Me and Frank go over to sit on a small couch. We sit in silence the whole time. My head rested on his shoulder, his head rested on my head and our fingers intertwined. The time goes by fast, and it seem I’m being called back to pee in a cup in minutes. They tell me the results take 24 hours to come up, and that I should be expecting a call by this time tomorrow.
Later that night me and Frank are on the couch, cuddled up like always.
“Oh, how’d your test go?” I ask, just now remembering. God, I’m shitty.
“Yeah, it went well. I’m graduated. They’re mailing me my diploma.” Frank says, sounding distracted.
“That’s great, Frankie!” I lean over and kiss the corner of his mouth. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” Okay. No. He’s not fine.
“Well, we should celebrate!” I say, trying life Frank’s mood. For some reason this changes Frank’s mood. He doesn’t perk up, but his eyes begin to spin with contemplation as he bites his lip.
“Yeah, we should.” Frank says, this time with more happiness in his voice.
“Well, what you do wanna do, Frankie?” I ask.
Frank bites his lip harder, looks at me with eyes filled with a desperation, and eagerness. But I can see the sadness in them too. They’re sweet. Complete opposite of what he finally says.
“I want you to fuck me, Gerard.”
I suppose it began as any normal day, minus the slight disappointment of Frank’s warmth not being in my arms. He’s in Pittsburg, but at least he’ll be back tomorrow morning. I can survive the next 24 hours.
I’ve missed him, and we haven’t stopped texting. I hope I wasn’t annoying him, but I’m not used to not seeing him every day. It’s weird. After trying to watch different movies, trying to work on my comics, trying to draw random crap, nothing could keep me mind of Frank. As a last resort, I decide to go to Mikey’s.
I arrive to a shirtless Mikey with his arms open for a hug. I let him squeeze me for a second before pulling away and fixing my shirt.
“No, Frank?” Mikey asks, I then explain to him where he is and we go to sit on the couch and we talk for awhile until Mikey brings up his plans for tonight.
“So, I wish Frank was here to come, but Pete’s throwing a party. You should come, though.”
“I don’t think so, Mikey.”
“Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun!”
I give it a thought. The alternative is to go sit at home and do nothing but think about Frank and drink coffee. Yeah, it may be not be fun, but it may be.
“Okay,”
Mikey cheers and tells me to go back home to get ready, basically kicking me out of the house.
The first thing I do after getting home is text Frank to let him know, I know “he’s just a friend”, but we both know we’re together, just without the label. I want him to be okay with it. Which he is more than okay.
“Wish I could go, I’m glad you’re going out. Be safe. See you tomorrow, babe.” Reads Frank’s text. I smile to myself at the word babe. Never gonna get over that.
After, I’m cleaned and ready, I head out to Pete’s. I haven’t been to one of these alone in so long. It looks normal. A smell of cigarettes, weed and alcohol mixed fills the air, and people are sweaty and dancing or just talking. I quickly find the bar, and poor myself an orange juice. If anyone ask, I act tipsy and say it has vodka in it. The same thing for the past year.
I turn around and see the one thing I didn’t want to see.
Lindsey. She’s leaning against the staircase, staring at me. She’s a little drunk. I can tell by the red her cheeks look. Her hairs still fine, and her lipstick is still intact. Telling me she’s had enough alcohol to be brave, but not enough to be stupid and not know what she’s doing.
She’s wearing the same outfit she always wears. Normally, no matter how many times I’ve seen it, my dick would twitch and I’d want to pin her to a wall. Not this time. I don’t know if it’s because I’m gay or because I hate her. I’ve barely given her a second thought this past month unless someone has mentioned her or I saw something of hers around the flat.
She’s walking this way, slowly. Her face looks hesitant. Fuck. I wish she’d change her mind. She’s right infront of me. Shit.
“Hey.” Lindsey speaks, quietly.
“What?” I snap.
Lindsey’s eyes widen at my tone slightly. “I thought I’d say hi.”
“You never came and got your shit.”
“I know, I was scared to see you. Did you thro,”
“No, it’s in boxes in the hall closet.” I cut her off. I’m done with this conversation.
“All of it? Even my clothes?”
“Especially your clothes. I don’t want Frank thinking I’m still hung up on you, because that’s completely false.” Shit. I mentioned Frank. Fuck, what do I say?
“Who the fuck is Frank?” She ask. She has no right too. Especially not with that tone.
I decide to tell her the truth, “Frank’s the guy who told me he saw you going upstairs with a guy. Frank is also my..” I pause. He’s not my boyfriend. Fuck. What do I say? “He’s my friend. That’s not so much just a friend.”
I look over to Lindsey, her eyebrows are furrowed and she’s glaring at me.
“What? Not so much a…” Her eyes widen. “Since when do you like dick?” She shouts, a little too loud.
“Since when you do have a right to know?” I retort.
She just stares at with a disgusted and shock look on her face.
She goes to the other side of the counter, and I don’t turn around to face her. Lindsey’s probably getting herself more liquor.
She comes back around, and stops in front of me. “I’ll be round for my shit.” I just nod and she leaves me alone. Finally. Well, everyone will know about Frank now. But, that’s okay. People would figure out eventually anyways. I stand around for another few minutes, drinking my juice and bobbing my head to the music. I’m too lazy to go find Mikey or Pete or anyone else I know.
It’s then when I start to feel lightheaded. Not much, only slightly, but the feeling slowly gets worst until my head starts to throb and I realize I’m not standing very well.
My vision starts to go blurry.
And I start to fall, but an arm catches me. All I can see Is black, white and red. I hear laughing, and I hear someone pouring something in a cup really close to me. What is happening? Maybe my sugars low. I manage to get my drink to my mouth and chug the rest. I didn’t think I had that much left? I couldn’t even taste it. It’s like I was drinking straight water.
That’s the last thought I have before complete blackness.
****************************
“Mmm, Gerard. Wake up, Gerard.”
I feel numb, but cold. And I can tell I’m naked. And I feel something wet on my dick.
“Oh, God. Good morning to you too.” I moan out as my dick gets blown. I get a hum in reply. I look out the curtains. It’s barely morning. Maybe 5 or 6. I don’t to much on the subject though,
It continues for a few more minutes, and I feel the pit in my stomach. “I’m gonna cum, shit!”
Then my dick is being pulled out of the mouth. I whimper.
“Frank, I said I’m about to cum. Go back.” I hear a snicker. One that I know well, but doesn’t belong to Frank. I shoot up and stare into the brown eyes I once loved.
Lindsey. Naked. I look around. We’re in my room. Our old room. What the fuck happened? Why is she here? What’s going on?
Lindsey sits up and straddles me. I stare up at her, wide eyed and scared.
“Morning, baby. But… my names not Frank. Awkward.” She giggles. She fucking giggles. I have no memory of last night.
“You said it a few times last night too, it sucked. That was really rude of you baby. It made you cum though. So, maybe I should think him.”
“Lindsey, what the fuck did you do?”
“Awh, you don’t remember our magical night? Well, you pretty much fell into my arms. So I took you back here, and you fucked me oh so good, baby. You were amazing.” She bends down and kiss my cheek, in which I push her off. My dick has gotten completely soft now, and so Lindsey starts to grind her bare, wet vagina on it, something that would normally turn me on, but doing nothing. It maybe the situation, but something tells a straight guy would still get turned on by this no matter what. I grasp her shoulders and push to the side of me, immediately getting off the bed in search for my boxers.
“Out. Get the fuck out. Right now. And don’t come back. I don’t know what you did to me, but it wasn’t me doing that. Get your shit right now, or it’s going in the trash. You have 10 minutes to be out of my life for good, Lindsey.”
She sits up, shrugging her shoulders. What is her deal? “I already got what I wanted.” I want to ask what she means, but I know she just means sex, getting revenge for me dumping her or whatever else runs through her sick mind.
She finds her clothes and I look away as she gets out of bed and gets dressed. I watch walk to the hall closet and carry a box to her car. Shit. I hope my cars at Pete’s. I continue to monitor her movements, not trusting her with anything.
When she’s done, she stands at the entrance with the door open, I walk over to close but she stops me. “Thanks for last night, baby.” She winks and then closes the door her self. I cringe. And yell out. Fuck. What did she do to me. Goddamnit.
I fucked Lindsey. Did I like it? She said I called out Frank’s name. That’s a good sign. Even drunk or high, or whatever the fuck I was, I was still thinking I was fucking Frank. That doesn’t mean this makes me straight. I clearly didn’t like it, being sober. But still. There’s two things that won’t leave my head.
I cheated on Frank.
I probably drank. Alcohol.
I run to the bathroom, and immediately turning the hot water all the way up. I scrub my body until I go raw. Desperately trying to remove any trace of Lindsey or boose. I reluctantly leave the shower when I can’t stand the freezing water any longer and instantly climb in my bed and cry. I cry because I have to tell Frank. Soon. I cry because he’s gonna hate. I cry because a year sober is down the drain. I cry everything thing happens to me.
It’s seems like hours of crying later, there’s a knock on the door. I don’t get up. I don’t care who it is. It knocks again. Go away. I don’t want you here. It doesn’t knock again, but I hear the door open. Who opens the door for themselves that I know?
“Gerard? Are you here? Baby?” The voice belongs to Frankie. I smile slightly, before remembering the state I’m in. I let out a loud sob and Frank must hear it because his feet run up the stairs quickly and into my room. My back is turned to the door.
“Gee? Wha- Are you okay?” Frank says, his voice sounding terrified.
He walks towards me and places his hand on my cheek.
“Frankie… I’m so sor-sorry.” I say, stuttering because of the tears. I clear my throat before speaking again. “I promise I didn’t want it. I don’t remember anything. Frankie, please don’t leave me.” The sobs become hysterical again. My chest hurts. My eyes feel like they’re bleeding. I don’t know what I’ll do if Frank leaves me. He’s became a need in my life.
“Gerard… What happened?”
Oh, God. I’m gonna be alone. I have to tell him. Shit. I take a few deep breathes, calming down, forcing the tears back.
“Lindsey was at the party last night, and I woke up to her naked, sucking me off.”
Frank’s eyes widen. “Gerard, I can’t believe you…” Here it comes. I’m alone now. “You drank! Over a year sober! Gee, what the fuck?!” What? What?! He’s not… I’m confused.
“I didn’t drink on purpose. It was more than then that, I think she slipped something in my drink.”
“What? Okay, get dressed, we’re going to the hospital. I wanna know everything you remember from beginning to finish on the drive.” He stops and gently rest his head against mine. “And I’m not mad at you. One, even if you were coherent, we’re not together. I technically would have no right to be mad. Two, you didn’t know what was happening.” He kissed me gently. “But I guess you know you still like girls.”
“Frank, she told me I was yelling your name.” Franks lips curl into a giant grin and then to smirk. He kisses me again and stands up. “Good” is all he says before walking out the door. That fucker.
I get dressed, still confused on why we’re going to the hospital, but I don’t ask questions. I call Pete after Frank notices my cars not home, but my keys are. Mikey comes and get us, and we leave from there. I tell Frank everything on the drive. When we get there, Frank basically pulls me into the ER and to the desk. He speaks before the lady can.
“Hi, uhm, he has reason to believe he was drugged last night, and so he needs a screening ASAP. It’s been about 12 hours. Right, babe?” The last part is meant for me.
“Yeah, I think so.” I reply.
“Okay, sir. Let me see proof of insurance, and we will go set a up a test. It should be about 30 minutes.”
I get out my wallet and hand her my health insurance card, she does some typing and I take it back. Me and Frank go over to sit on a small couch. We sit in silence the whole time. My head rested on his shoulder, his head rested on my head and our fingers intertwined. The time goes by fast, and it seem I’m being called back to pee in a cup in minutes. They tell me the results take 24 hours to come up, and that I should be expecting a call by this time tomorrow.
Later that night me and Frank are on the couch, cuddled up like always.
“Oh, how’d your test go?” I ask, just now remembering. God, I’m shitty.
“Yeah, it went well. I’m graduated. They’re mailing me my diploma.” Frank says, sounding distracted.
“That’s great, Frankie!” I lean over and kiss the corner of his mouth. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” Okay. No. He’s not fine.
“Well, we should celebrate!” I say, trying life Frank’s mood. For some reason this changes Frank’s mood. He doesn’t perk up, but his eyes begin to spin with contemplation as he bites his lip.
“Yeah, we should.” Frank says, this time with more happiness in his voice.
“Well, what you do wanna do, Frankie?” I ask.
Frank bites his lip harder, looks at me with eyes filled with a desperation, and eagerness. But I can see the sadness in them too. They’re sweet. Complete opposite of what he finally says.
“I want you to fuck me, Gerard.”
Notes
AHHHH SHIT WENT DOWN. yay for drama. and a tease at the end. what will happen? DUH DUH DUH. more drama, i promise you that. i am slowly developing quite a story line and i am excited.
but two chapters in one day. i'm on a roll! chapter seven will be here tomorrow, hopefully. i'm working on it now. but yeah!
comments are awesome! let me know what you think pretty please! thanks to everyone subscribing and voting, too! you guys rock!
thanks for reading! stay lovely!
P.S.
i don't know if any of you have read my other fic "i'd rather not miss out on us" but if you have, and are awaiting an update. i'm sorry. i haven't been inspired to write any for that at all. i'm trying to force myself though, so there might be an update soon, but they're probably gonna be slow. again, i'm really sorry. i'm not purposely making it take the backseat.
Late but that was a fucking amazing epilogue <3
6/24/17