Their Hearts Don't Beat Like Ours

I can’t imagine being happier. Seriously. I’ve finally admit the changes in my life, that might’ve happened a little too quickly, but that’s okay. Because they make me happy. I don’t doubt myself after I kiss Frank anymore. I’m not scared of what I became any more. It’s become normal. I feel more myself then I ever have before. I feel like I’ve always been gay. And I was just scared of it, and my body forced itself to like girls. Now that I think about it, there’s been a few occasions when I let myself think about guys in more of a friendly way in the past.
When I was in high school, there this guy named Bert. He was strange. He always looked at me like I was piece of meat to fuck, and sometimes, it wouldn’t scare me. He was openly bi-sexual. Actually, I had sex dreams about him a few times. But I would wake up crying because I actually came from the dreams, and that’s the mornings that I would drink a little too much before noon. And apparently, at a party my senior year, I kissed him. But, I have no recognition of it. Now this is all happening, I feel like it might’ve actually happened. I denied it of course, back then, but now I couldn’t give a damn if it happened. I think he’s married now. I heard he moved to fucking Wales and has a kid.
Good for him, I mentally shrugged.
I want to go to the UK. Maybe me and Frankie can if my comic book deal ever comes through and actually does well.
I’m pulled out of my thoughts by a turning Frank. I’ve been awake for an hour now, but I didn’t wanna move. I gave him all of me last night, and I should be here when he wakes up. He’s so beautiful. I can’t believe I said it. I came out and confessed my love to him.
I watch as his eyes flutter open. He doesn’t look at me for a minute and doesn’t move.
Frank finally moves the arm that’s draped over my stomach, picking it up, and we both let out a whine.
“What the- Oh.” Frank giggles.
“What?” I ask as Frank lifts his arm off me and I watch as the skin tries to stay connected, slightly painful.
“It’s the, uhm, cum. It glued me too you.” He laughs. I start laughing too.
“I like the idea of you being glued to me.” I say.
“Can’t you tell I already am?” He says, finally looking up at me with loving hazel eyes.
“I love you.” I whisper. God, that feels good. Frank smiles and leans up to kiss me.
“I love you, too.”
“C’mon. I think a shower and new sheets are a good idea right now.” I suggest.
Frank just nods and throws the covers off of us, crawling off the bed. I stand up too, but immediately sit back down due to sharp pain going from my thighs, through my ass, and up my back.
“Shit, shit.” I yelp out.
Frank looks at me, concerned and then nods to himself.
“Your ass hurt?”
“Like hell.”
Frank just laughs. “That’s normal, baby. Mine did too, not as bad though, because I’ve fingered and been fingered quite a few times before.”
“You fingered?” I ask, raising my eyebrow.
“Yeah, when I jack-off, I finger myself sometimes.”
God, his bluntness cracks me up.
“I’d like see that someday.” I say seductively, slightly giggling. Frank winks then laughs.
“I’ll go get you some pain killers and coffee. A shower can wait.”
I just nod and watch naked Frank walk out of the bedroom.
He returns about 5 minutes later with pills and two mugs and a wash rag.
He sits the mugs down, and takes two pills out the bottle, before handing me one mug.
“Thanks, baby.” I mumble. I swallow the pills and chug half the mug. Frank takes it from me and tells me to lie down. I obey.
He takes the rag to my stomach, gently rubbing, wiping off his work from last night. I let my eyes close.
“Flip over, baby.” He whispers, sweetly. I turn my body around. He washes off my thighs and ass, tenderly and when he’s done, I turn my head to face him and watch him wipe off his stomach.
“You’re beautiful.” I tell him. He looks at me, smiling. He has a gleam his eye that I hope never leaves. I make grabby hands at him, and he throws the rag in the laundry basket before crawling on the bed and resting his head on my chest, just like we woke up.
“How did I get so lucky?” I ask him.
“I think I’m the lucky one, Gee.” I hum in reply.
“Whoever watches over us, must really like me to give me a boyfriend like you.” I add.
“Boyfriend?” He questions, looking up at me. That gleam still there.
“I- well, yeah. I guess. You basically are, right?” I ask, nervously.
“No, I’m not.” My heart sank. “But I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend…” He trails off.
“Frankie, will you be my boyfriend?” I ask him, with a smirk in my voice, knowing why he said what he said.
“I thought I already was?” He winks, I giggle. He kisses me shortly. “Of course I’ll be your boyfriend. Will you be mine?”
“Of course.” I kiss him again. “I love you.”
“I love you.” He replies.
We lay like that until the pain killers kick in, and go take a shower together. We decide to have a quiet day inside. What’s new? We like our alone time.
Around 4, Frank’s mom calls and ask if he’ll come home for dinner. She starts crying saying how her baby is all grown up, and so he goes. I choose to stay home. He hasn’t been spending much time at his house, and it sounds like his mom needs some mommy-son time.
I order Chinese for myself, and order Frank his favorite too, knowing he’ll be back over tomorrow, and hungry, and it re-heats fairly well.
I’m sitting on the couch, watching a shit movie, eating when my phone starts buzzing.
I reluctantly get up, knowing it’s probably not Frank. He’s started a habit of just coming over, never calling before anymore if he needed something, which I was fine with. I should just get him a key, to be honest.
I don’t recognize the number and consider not picking it up.
But what if it’s Dark Horse. Ugh.
“Hello?”
“Yes, Mr. Way?”
“Speaking. Who’s this?”
“Ah, I’m Mr. Williams. Mrs. Ballato’s lawyer.” I freeze. Fuck, what now. Patrick promised I wouldn’t have any problems.
“What do you want?” I say, harshly.
“I know, I am the last person you want to hear from, but I this is quite important.”
“Then spit it out.” I snap. He clears his throat. I feel kinda bad, this anger is towards Linds, not this poor man she hired. “I’m sorry, I just don’t like hearing that name anymore.” The man sighs.
“It’s alright, I understand your aggression. In your police statement, you stated that you believed Mrs. Ballato raped you, correct?”
“Yes.” What is this about? I’ve been through this. I’m done with that bitch.
“She admitted to have sexual relations with you that night. Do you feel that because you were under the influence of MDMA and alcohol, that you reached your sexual climax?”
“Uh. I don’t think,” He cuts me off.
“I assure you this will not help my client’s case. Because you were drugged, it is considered rape, no matter if you enjoyed it or not.”
“Well, then, I suppose, I did.”
“And was there any condoms to be found, or any other forms of protection found?”
“No, my boyfriend searched and found none.”
“Mr. Way, let me stop being a lawyer for a second, and advise you to sit down.”
“O-Okay.” I say, but still sitting down. Fuck. What is happening?
“Mrs. Ballato discovered she’s pregnant this morning. I went to visit her this afternoon and she claims that it is yours.”
Oh. My. God. That night and morning comes to me again, attacking my head. The little I can remember at least. But one part comes creeping back.
“I already got what I wanted.”
Lindsey’s words come creeping back into my head. That bitch. No. It’s not mine. We fucked once. That night.
“The doctor confirmed she’s only 5 weeks along. Does 5 weeks meet the time framing of the event?”
Event? He’s calling it an event? It wasn’t the fucking Oscar’s. I was drugged. But shit, it does. It has been about 5 weeks since that night. Oh. God. No. Jimmy. It has to be Jimmy’s.
“Mr. Way?”
God, he needs to stop calling me that. It makes me feel worse for some reason.
“N-no. It’s Jimmy’s. Jimmy Urine. He was her boyfriend or whatever at the time.”
“Ah, yes. Well, I also knew this. I gave him a call. He’s infertile. I had his medical records pulled to confirm his statement. He was not lying. He has a condition that I must keep private.”
Oh, my god. Lindsey’s pregnant. Jimmy can’t have kids.
I’m gonna scream. Lindsey’s carrying my child. No. It’s not mine. If she cheated on me, then she would cheat on Jimmy. She’s a slut. Lindsey’s a slut. She was before I met her, and she will be after. I was a fool to think she’d change for me.
But, what if it is mine? What am I gonna do?
“I already got what I wanted.”
Her voice echoes in my head. I cant breathe. The lawyer speaks again.
“I understand that this is a lot to take in. The situation is horrible. I’ll leave you alone to process now. I’ll call you in a few days. There are things that must be discussed.”
“Mr. Williams, was it?” I ask.
“Yes, sir.”
“Do you think it’s mine?” My voice shakes.
“I do, Mr. Way.”
“Gerard.”
“Gerard.” He repeats. “I do.”
“But her sentence is 18 months?”
“Gerard, you need to process things. We can discuss later.”
“No.” I snap. “I need to know something. I have a boyfriend that will also be affected by this. I have family. I have to know what to tell them.”
“Her sentence is 18 months. If you choose, you can claim full custody of the child.” He says. You can tell he’s done this before. His voice is calm, but I hear a little bit of pity in it.
“And when she gets out?”
“You’ll still have full custody. She’ll only be able to go to court after being confirmed she’s clean. With her charges and past, and if you’re stable and giving the child a good home, the most she’ll ever be able to get is supervised visits ever so often.”
I let out a breathe I didn’t know I was holding in. I can’t speak though.
“Would like me to call you or you contact me after you’ve made you choose.”
“I- I- Uh, I’ll contact you. Thank you.”
“I’ll talk to you soon, Gerard.” He says and hangs up.
“FUCK!” I yell out.
Right when my life gets better, something happens, literally the next day.
What is gonna happen. The kid’s mine. I can feel it. I just know it.
There’s no way Frank will stay with me.
And it’s mine, I can’t just give it up. I can’t give it to someone else. I don’t have the heart.
Oh, god. What am I going to do? Why me? Why fucking me! I suddenly completely understand her statement.
“I already got what I wanted.”
She probably knew about Frank. And she doesn’t want me to happy. She didn’t want me to be sober.
Well, I’m losing my happiness. And I know what I turn to when that happens.
She got what she wanted.

Notes

i'm just evil. give you fluff just to CRUSH YOUR HEARTS. *evil laughs.* in all seriousness though, i wish drama didn't make stories better cause it breaks my heart to right gee so sad. ugh. but it has a plot that must be told and sad gee is part of that plot.
anyways. i hope you enjoy!
thanks for reading and commenting!
stay lovely!