We're All Born Losers

“Fuck!” Gerard cursed his reflection, angrily rubbing at his eyelid. He’d been applying eye make-up for about an hour now. It felt like the first time he’d tried it; stoned in Matt Kelly’s basement at the end of sophomore year, going through Sandra Schell’s purse while she snored on the floor. He should be able to do this in his sleep by now. But his hands were shaking so bad he could barely manage a decent deliberate smudge.

“Gee!” Mikey called up the stairs. “Hurry up! I’m not gonna be late for my first day!”

“Take the bus!” Gerard yelled back. He hated his brother. Okay, that wasn’t true. Mikey was his best friend. But sometimes he hated how effortlessly Mikey made friends. He wasn’t popular by any means, but he was comfortable in his lanky, bespectacled body and somehow managed to wedge his way into the inner circles of several social groups (although his main group mostly consisted of nerds). Little bastard.

“Fuck you! I’m not taking the fuckin’ bus!” Mikey screamed. The sound of his brother’s footsteps pounding up the stairs made Gerard sigh and renew his concentration. He could do this.

Mikey flung the bedroom door open and threw Gerard’s car keys at him. They bounced off Gerard’s arm, making his hand jerk. “Come on!”

“Mikey, you mother- hey! That looks kinda cool!” Apparently Mikey was just the distraction he needed. His right eye had a perfect black line across the top lid, flipped up at the corner. Gerard quickly matched it on the left side, messily smudging his lower lids before picking up his keys. “My hero.”

Mikey scoffed and pushed Gerard out the door. “If we’re late, I’m telling the whole school why.”


****
Gerard stood on the steps of the school, glaring up at the brick building. The bricks were a medley of maroon and beige and looked like every high school should--prison.

“Outta the way!” a voice in front of him shouted.

Gerard had time to step to the side before a kid on a skateboard barreled past, effortlessly grinding the rail bisecting the large stone steps. The crowd cheered and Gerard rolled his eyes. Skaters had never impressed him. Didn’t mean he wouldn’t blow them behind the skate park occasionally but he wasn’t impressed by them. This one was no exception.

And then the little fucker turned around.

The smile caught Gerard’s eye first. It wasn’t smug, wasn’t arrogant. It was the smile of a little boy who had just accomplished something he’d deemed impossible. A soft blush graced his cheeks as everyone cheered and clapped him on the back.

The kid bounced back up the stairs, chatting excitedly with a kid with spiky blue hair. As he passed Gerard he gave him an idle glance.

And that was enough to make Gerard’s jaw drop.

Beautiful doe eyes. They would look good with make-up but they were perfect without. A studded bracelet graced his left wrist, worn pink Converse on his feet. His snug jeans fit him very well.

But the hair needed to change. Short, drab and preppy, just like his white polo t-shirt. It was like someone had dipped him in honey and rolled him through all the high school stereotypes.

Mikey grabbed his arm. “We gotta find the principal’s office.”

Gerard had forgotten Mikey was even there.

Notes

first chapter? i think i might post the next one really soon, i already have it written so i just have to type it out. xoxo addictwithapen