([McDonalds, Walt Disney World in Florida, 1:47pm, Lunchtime]

Gerard: "Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far-"

Frank: "What is this? Some cheesy love story? If it is, I would not like a side of fries with that."

Jamia: "Frank, enough," (turns to Gerard) "Go on, Gee."

Gerard:(confused) "Okay, yeah." (coughs) "So, once upon a time, there was a king with seven sons. He was a kind king, a good king, and he had raised seven good sons. The sons started to marry off very quickly because of their good manners and dazzling looks. They went on dangerous quests in search of their lovely princesses. The king rejoiced at giving his blessing for every union. The queen loved the brides. The people held great celebrations whenever the princes visited. There was one problem, however. The oldest son, the dauphin, the heir to the throne, Prince-"

Jamia: (excitedly) "Gee!"

Gerard: "Prince..." (hesitates) "Gee did not want to marry."

Jamia: "Yay! This is fun." (claps hands like a child)

Frank: (deadpanned) "Gay."

Jamia: "Frank!"

Frank: "having or showing merry, gay, Jamia."

Gerard: "Yeah, sure. The king and the queen worried about him as he got old-"

Jamia: "How old? Like thirty?"

Gerard: "No, no, like, oh I don't know, twenty-two? Princes married young back then."

Frank: (cynical, sarcastic) "Back when exactly? You didn't specify a year. This story sure has a lot of pot holes."

Jamia: "It's a fairytale, Frank."

Gerard: (ignores him) "While his brothers brought his brides to the banquet, he sat at the head of the table, alone and silent, and-"

Frank: "Was he ugly? He must've been ugly. Was he a troll? Was he Shrek?"

Gerard: "No! He wasn't. He was the most attractive out of all of them actually, with a chiseled body-"

Jamia: "And long black hair and beautiful hazel eyes. And a smile to die for and when he looked at you, it would feel like the sun was shining on your face and you were the most important thing in the world. And he was kind, so kind, and-"

Frank: (annoyed) "Shut up, Jamia. We're telling the Shrek story, not your private shower fantasies."

Gerard: "We're not telling the Shrek story..."

Jamia: (huffing) "You shut up. You're no fun. You ruin everything."

Gerard: (trying to appease them) "Sure, yeah, with all those things, Jamia. Gee was a catch. Many princesses wanted to be his because he was brave and sweet and very romantic."

Jamia: "So why didn't he get married then?"

Frank: "Cause he was a pussy." (snorts)

Jamia: "Frank!"

Frank: (laughing) "With a small pee-pee."

Jamia: "What are you...ten?"

Frank: (smirking) "Ten...inches."

Gerard: (grumbles under his breath) "Well, I prefer using centimeters..."

Frank: "Whachu say, little boy?"

Gerard: "Nothing..." (afterthought to himself again) "At least I'm tall enough to ride Big Thunder."

Frank: (taunting) "Fighting words, I hear."

Gerard: "Big mouth."

Frank: "Hey!"

Jamia: (rolling her eyes) "Frank, you're being a pain."

Frank: "I was just making this story more exciting. It's a bit of a cliche."

Gerard: (stung) "Oh? How so?"

Frank: "The prince doesn't want to get married because he's waiting for the right girl with the brains and the looks and the courage and the blah blah blah blah, add cliche crap in here." (mocking) "He doesn't want to do what everyone else did and settle. He wants a strong, independent woman who can be his equal."

Gerard: "Well." (pauses) "It was not like that at all. I wasn't going to say that... Besides, if you're so bored with this, why don't you go somewhere else? You don't have to listen to it."

Frank: "Alright then." (standing up) "Come on, Jamia. Let's go hookup in the entrance bathrooms."

Jamia: "Don't be so disgusting."

Frank: "Oh please. It's not like you haven't been up for it before." (to Gerard mockingly) "Unlike your prince, I actually get ass."

Gerard: (deadpanned) "Awesome."

Frank: "I don't need to wait around to be swept off my feet like some desperate little faux-princess."

Gerard: (more subdued) "Good for you."

Jamia: "Frank, you're being mean, I think you better go."

Frank: "What? You're not coming with me? You'd rather sit here and listen to this gay-ass story?"

Jamia: "I think you better go, okay?"

Frank: "Fine, whatever, sweetheart. Don't call me when you wanna roleplay Disney again. I'm not your on-call escort. It's a two way street."

Jamia: (slighted) "You're such a dick sometimes."

Frank: "Better to be a dick than a pussy, right Gerard?"

Gerard: "Look, Jamia, I'm going to just head back to my shift. It's almost time anyways." (stands up, avoids eye contact) "Was done eating. I lost my appetite."

Jamia: "You're working the Sorcerer's Hat today, yeah? I'll come by."

Gerard: (ashamed) "Alright cool. Nice talking to, uh, both...of you. I'll be going now. Good luck with all of that...the Disney roleplay thing. I hope things get better." (hurries away, hands in pockets, head down) "See you around..."

Jamia: (sighs, turns towards Frank) "Why do you always have to be so mean to him?"

Frank: (starts walking away) "I'm not mean."

Jamia: (follows) "Yes, you are. You've been a jerk since the first day he started working here. It's like you get joy from seeing him squirm." (Frank snorts) "You hate it here, we get it. All of us do to some extent. This is not what anyone of us wanted coming out of acting school, but hey, the boy seemed genuinely happy with the job, so let him be happy."

Frank: "That's the problem right there. He's settling by being happy. If anything, I'm saving his soul from the Disney. I'm the hero of the situation.

Jamia: (dry) "Hero, right. That's not your problem, Let him be. Is it a sin to want to make children smile? Maybe you should learn a thing or two. Maybe then, you wouldn't get assigned villain characters all the time, Hades."

Frank: "At least I have blue hair, not blue balls."

Jamia: "Gross. I don't see why you have to flaunt your libido so much."

Frank: "I don't see why you have to flaunt your big words but I don't say anything. I'm done with this conversation. Bye. Go suck off Gerard in some bathroom next to a fat kid with diarrhea.

Jamia: "Nice Frank. Real nice."

Frank: "We all know you just adore the kid."

Jamia: "I find him sweet. What's the matter, you jealous?"

Frank: "Of that clumsy, awkward hot mess that can barely hold a conversation? Yeah, real jelly. Peanut butter jelly."

Jamia: "Uh-huh."

Frank: (in disbelief) "Why would I be jealous?"

Jamia: "You're jealous he plays Hercules. You've always wanted to play Hercules."

Frank: "Please." (pause) "Like I care." (longer pause, getting riled up) "I don't give a shit about this shitty job or that shitty character or your shitty assumptions."

Jamia: "Okay, then. I'm gonna go before you burst my balloon, like you burst his all the time."

Frank: "Bye now."

Jamia: "Don't scare a child on the way."

Frank: "Ha. Ha."

Jamia: "I'm serious, you look like someone just killed your cat. Cheer up! It's Disney! Have some fun for once!"

Notes

ta-da! how is it??

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