The Light Behind Your Eyes.

[ All Mikey's POV]

I've been searching for Gerard for hours after the attack, lurkers surrounding us. During the attack, Gerard had the brilliant idea to distract them so I could get away. It was last minute, so I couldn't stop him. ''Mikey!'' he shouted, ''Run! I'll be fine!'' He said, making as much noise as he could attract the walkers away from me. Next thing I know, the mass of rotting flesh and eerie groans were fading away as they staggered after my big brother. ''Fuck,'' I cried, ''fuck, fuck, fuck!''

Now here I am, searching everywhere for him, avoiding any walkers I spot. The weather's cold and the sun is setting. This isn't good. I'd tried to follow his footprints in the snow, but the rotters' had replaced them with their own uneven ones. I decided to follow those. After a while of walking, I stumbled upon at least twenty bodies of the undead, all taken out with bulletholes to the head, their rotted blood staining the angelic white snow. Had Gerard really managed to kill them all by himself? After further inspection, I glanced up in front of me when I saw it - a cabin in the distance, a trail of fresh blood and unsteady footprints leading to it. Oh, shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That wasn't my brother's blood, it wasn't. It couldn't be. He probably just cut himself on something, maybe slipped and fell on some ice, hit his head a bit too hard - but no, if that was true, then it must've been a deep cut, because he was bleeding heavily by the look of the blood trail, and if he had hit his head, he'd be laying somewhere here in front of me. He had to have been badly hurt if his footprints were that way.

I felt my heart sink to my feet. My breathing began to become uneven, I was starting to panic, seeing my breath in front of me in the frigid winter air. I couldn't lose my big brother, I fucking couldn't! After all we've been through - I need him! He's all I have! Tears began to burn my eyes, but I wiped them away. I couldn't let myself cry, I couldn't allow myself to break down, not just yet. After all, I didn't even know if he was at the cabin, it was probably just walker blood, or something. No, but it seemed too fresh, not as fresh as it is when it first comes out, but not almost black. It could be someone else's, it's gotta be! Yeah, that's what it is, I decided, despite all logic. Whose could it be if it wasn't Gerard's? I began to make my way towards the eerie looking cabin, following the trail of crimson before me. If I stood there any longer, I would have an anxiety attack, or biters would find me.

As I wandered towards the cabin, I got the disturbing feeling that I was being followed. I stopped walking so I could listen, the crunching of the snow under my feet being too loud. That's when I heard it. Or, them. The moans of at least three walkers behind me. How the fuck hadn't I heard them before? I turned around, and sure enough, they were there, limping towards me hungrily. I got out the knife I had kept in my knife pocket wrapped around my waist like a belt and lunged towards them, stabbing them all in the head, struggling to pull the knife out of the third one's head. Whipping the sharp object of its gory contents still sticking to its blade, I put it back into the pocket and continued my walk. Gerard was fine. He was safe, he was alright, and no matter what happened to him, he'd be okay. We'd be okay.

As I got closer to the small building, a creeping thought stopped me dead in my tracks. If this blood was fresh, it would attract more of those geeks. They smell blood. They know the difference between the living and the dead, anyone who'd survived long enough in this new world knew that. Oh, fuck. And the bodies from before - they were all shot. That makes a lot of noise... I stood still, examining the cabin a bit better which was hard because I was still pretty far away from it, because it was getting darker with every minute, it would be night soon. My eyes scanned the pathetic shack and stopped on a figure, and it looked as if it were hitting its arms against the door of the cabin. For a second I thought that maybe it could be Gerard, but then I remembered that with how long he'd been missing, he'd be in there by now. My heart sank once again and I felt dread in the pit of my stomach. That was a walker, and it was trying to get in, because obviously whoever was in there, it wanted to eat.

I continued to scan the shack when I spotted one other figure, which was trying to claw its way in, where my brother might be. I was almost freaking out at this point, not because of how many walkers there were, but the lack of them. Only two, I mean, shouldn't there be more? It had been a few hours since I'd last seen my brother, but the blood was still pretty fresh, so why weren't there more? A part of me wanted there to be more because it would mean that he only just got injured, and there would be time to fix the wound. But obviously, it wasn't recent. If he was truly in there, he'd been in there far too long. I just prayed that there was some sort of supplies he could've helped himself with, and he was waiting for me.

I started to walk again, speed - walked, and full - on sprinted towards the little cottage, my heart slamming against my ribcage. Ripping my knife out of its pocket, I pierced the first walker, who was a young woman before reanimated in its now rotted skull, its body falling limply to the ground with a thump. I then smashed the other's head into the wall of the building, killing it immediately. Taking a few deep breaths and composing myself, I placed the dirty knife where it belonged. I stared at the cabin before me, a pang of anxiety striking me like a punch to the stomach. If anything, I wasn't ready to witness what was inside. I was just afraid.

Making my way up its rikkety, bloody steps, a gasp escaped my lips when I touched the doorknob. It was pretty dark now, so I hadn't seen, but there, on said doorknob, was something wet and sticky. Gerard's blood, I assumed. I swallowed hard and burst the door open. What I saw upon entering made my heart stop.

There, in the center of the room, was my brother. Or, the body of my brother, a bullethole in the head. Immediately, I collapsed and crawled to his cold body, my body shaking with every sob. I hugged his lifeless body and buried my face in his chest, muffling the screams I couldn't contain any longer. After a while of this, I sat up right, still bawling, and examined his body. He had been bitten on his right shoulder,the bite was so strong that it tore the sleeve of his jacket. A huge chunk of his flesh had been ripped off. That's where the blood had come from. He tried to stop the bleeding with some cloth from somewhere in the chack. Upon further examination, I found a gun in his right hand and a... tape recorder? In the left. Looking at it questioningly as I tried furiously to wipe the still - flowing tears from my face. I saw it was still playing. He must've forgotten to stop it before he - I shook my head, stopped the tape and pressed play.

''Hey, so, uh...'' his voice was hoarse and tired. ''I don't k-know who's going to find this, but, uh....'' his voice was trailing off slightly, ''obviously, I didn't make it, and there's no way to save me now. I'm bleeding out, and it's really cold. But this message goes out to my little brother, if he finds me here. A-alright, hey, Mikey.''

Gerard sounded as if he was crying, and that only made me weep even more. ''So, hey, guess what? I found this r-recorder thing, and I thought I should s-say a few words after I figured out how it worked. S-so uhm, I'm really sorry you had to find me like this, Mikey. I love you, so, so much. A-and I'm so sorry you had to find me like this... But let's face it, buddy, there's no way I-I was getting out of this one. I really thought... I thought.... I - sorry, I thought I was going to make it, I really did... But you know why I did what I did, you know why I did it, right?''

''...And if you are listening to this right now, it means I did the right thing....because here you are, still alive. I really fuckin' wish you didn't have to find me like this, b-but I know it's going t-to take you a while before you find me, and by then I'd probably be like one of them, and that would be so much worse f-for you... There's no way I would allow you to see me that way, and there's no way I'd make you put me down..... I know you wouldn't be able to, and there's no fuckin' way I'm coming back and killing you, little brother. I did this to protect you. And don't you dare fuckin' blame yourself, because fucking none of this is your fault. I would protect you, even if it's the last thing I did, and I guess this proves just that. But that's okay, because you're strong, Mikey. You're so strong, and you'll make it o-out of this. You'll get through this. I promise.''

Gerard's breath hitched at that last line, and I knew he was sniffling back tears, now.

''So, it's over for me, Mikes. But uh, you know that song I was working on that I wouldn't let you hear the other night? Well, here it is, Mikey. I love you, and no matter what happens, just keep running.''

''So long to all my friends
Everyone of them met tragic ends
With every passing day
I’d be lying if I didn’t say
That I miss them all tonight
And if they only knew what I would say...''

My brother was getting tired.

If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
One day I’ll lose this fight...''

He paused, swallowed hard and continued.

As we fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright

Be strong and hold my hand
Time—it comes for us, you’ll understand
We’ll say goodbye today
And I'm sorry how it ends this way
If you promise not to cry...''

Gerard sniffled and took a deep breath as he said this, as if to stop himself from crying.

Then I’ll tell you just what I would say

If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
I’ll fail and lose this fight...''

He swallowed hard again, I could tell it was hard for him to say these words. He didn't like the thought of not being able to protect me, like he always had our whole lives.

Never fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright

The light behind your eyes
The light behind your...''

He was trailing off, and I could tell by his voice that he was getting weaker.

''Sometimes we must grow stronger and
You can be stronger when I'm gone
When I’m here, no longer
You must be stronger and

If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
I failed and lost this fight...''

He stopped, took another deep breath, and burst into tears. He'd already been crying but he'd tried to control it before because now he just couldn't keep it in any longer. The words sent shivers down my spine as I cried along with him. It was almost as if he knew he would go first, if one of us were to die, and it broke me.

Never fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright

The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes...''

He paused once again and tried calming himself, his voice quivering.

The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes.''

''Well, that was it, Mikes,'' he was coughing now, it sounded wet so he must've been coughing up blood. That explained the crimson fluid dried on his lips and on the jacket he was wearing. ''I love you, please be safe, find someplace, find people. And if anyone else is listening to this, please be safe out t-there. It's a s-shit fuckin' world, '' he laughed, but it caused him to cough even more. ''But please don't lose hope....''
His voice was barely a whisper, now.

''The only hope for me is you!'' I whimpered, sobbing into his lifeless chest.



''And Mikey... Everything will be okay. I'm gonna see mom, dad, Frank, Ray... And we'll be watching you, and I'm gonna be able to protect you from there, and then we'll see each other again, and I'll welcome you with open arms, and I'll protect you then, and forever after... but until we m-meet again...'' He continued, for the last time, ''I'll miss you... '' The last words were barely audible. That would be the last time I ever heard my big brother's voice.

Finally, there was a loud bang, then silence.

Notes

Hey, guys. You probably hate me now... I'm so sorry! The next update for ''A Brutal Romance: I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love.'' might take a while, and I wanted to make it up to you guys, so got the idea to write this. I'm really sorry, okay guys, I was bawling my eyes out while typing this, alright, I'm really sorry.

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