I did the best I could to try to avoid the party. And by that, I mean that I "accidentally" forgot my change of clothes at home. I figured it would work fair enough, but I was somewhat worried that they'd just have me go to the stupid thing in my lousy school uniform instead. I hoped they'd have better sense than that; the party would have public school kids at it. They can get rough, and it seemed like wearing a school uniform to one of their gatherings would be an open invitation for a beating.

It happened to be my study hall day, which meant I got to hang out with Gerard and smoke dope instead of sleeping in the cafeteria. I went about my usual task of collecting slips from classrooms, but immediately darted outside to meet Gerard.
He was sitting in his usual spot beneath the bleachers. Sitting criss cross applesauce and pulling up grass, he eyed me as I approached him.
"Are we smoking today?" I asked. Normally Gerard was already lighting up by the time I got out there. To see him sitting there, hands empty and eyes clear, was unfamiliar and disorienting.
Gerard grinned at me, pulling a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "No."
I squinted. "No? What do you mean, no?" I sat next to him, sighing. "I was looking forward to it."
Gerard leaned against me, purring into my ear, "I had something else in mind." With that, he started to kiss my neck, bringing his tongue across my jawline.
I blushed, trying to push him away. "Gerard, not here."
He laughed, demanding, "What, you'll smoke weed at school, but making out crosses the line?"
I nodded, answering, "Yeah, I will. I don't want anybody seeing us; it'd be embarrassing."
Gerard frowned. "Because kissing me is embarrassing."

"I didn't mean it like that," I assured.
Gerard pouted nonetheless. He shifted over, swinging a leg over my lap. Straddling me, he started to grind.
"Gerard. Gerard stop it," I ordered. I could feel myself start to get hard, and I prayed to the good Lord above for it to go down.
He dipped forward, kissing me again. He bit at my skin, tempting, "Come on, Frankie, lighten up. You're such a goody two shoes."
He snaked a hand down my chest. Undoing my belt buckle, he urged, "Be bad for once."
My stomach tightened as Gerard unbuttoned my pants, then pulling down the fly. He sneaked a glance down at my hard cock, raised through the thin fabric of my briefs. He smirked, tracing the outline of my cock with his thumb. "Little Frankie's all worked up."
I bit my lip, starting to ease my crotch forward. I wanted more from Gerard.
He eased my pants down further, fully exposing my hips. Working a hand through the slot in my underwear, his fingers met my skin.
He grasped me slowly, stroking me gently. I started to breathe heavier. I focused on the rising of my chest rather than Gerard's eyes, which were cast down.
His movements became less and less, until finally, he withdrew, zipping my pants back up.

"What are you doing?"
He replied, "I want to be with you and all but... not here."
I scoffed, "It was your idea in the first place."
"I know, but I just thought about you cumming and what a mess cleanup would be. That was enough to make me finish," Gerard explained. He redid my belt, settling back into his own space. He then felt the need to add, "Cute tighty whities."

He patted my thigh, then pushing himself to a standing position. He started to walk, so I raced to my feet to follow, retorting, "They're blue, not white."
"Still tighty whities," Gerard insisted, brushing hair from his face.
I shook my head. We paced around the track for a while, and it took me some time to ask, "So what do you think about this party tonight?"
Gerard shrugged. "I dunno. Can't say I've ever been to a party, but I like to keep an open mind."
I nodded, stuffing my hands into my pockets. I honestly believed that at that point, our conversation was over. Of course, Gerard wouldn't let me off that easy. He asked, "How about you?"

I chose my words carefully. "I purposely left my change of clothes at home to try and avoid it."
Perhaps I could've used more discretion when speaking.
"That's stupid," Gerard muttered.

"Excuse me?"
"It's stupid," Gerard repeated. "You're not stupid, but what you did is. Not only will it not get you out of going, but it's a sorta selfish thing to do."

"Not wanting to go to a party is suddenly selfish?" I demanded.
"When your boyfriend is going and he's scared, yeah, it is," Gerard spat.
I was quiet after that. Finally, I worked up the nerve to hold his hand. "Don't be afraid. I'll be there."
"Thanks," Gerard mumbled.

That was another thing I knew about Gerard. He wasn't one to talk about his feelings. If you got anything out of him, you considered yourself lucky and called it a day. I imagined that a tidbit of personal information from him was an incredible amount of emotional labor on his part. The idea that sharing these things was that hard for him made it easier on me. I knew that it wasn't that he didn't trust me enough, but that he could only force himself to share so much.
In case you're wondering, although I did agree to attending the party while my clothes weren't at school, I didn't have to go in my uniform. Ray and Gerard were nice enough to stop by my house so I could grab my things after school.

Mikey wasn't with us. He was with Pete again, but he promised to meet us at the party. I remembered Gerard enlisting me to ask about Mikey's sex life, because his baby brother refused to admit those things to Gerard. It frustrated Gerard that he couldn't talk to Mikey like that, but that was literally what it was like knowing Gerard. Sometimes I got a small bit of information, but most of the time, nothing. I never got what I want from him.

Notes

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