Catacomb Kids

Immediately after my spat with Ray, I felt guilty. Not for shoving it to him and standing my ground, but for what's going to happen tomorrow to not only me, but Gerard as well.
Amidst all the sinking feelings of general crumminess, I mustered up the courage to call Gerard and tell him how it went. I was obligated to warn him about the next day.
He picked up after the first ring, embarrassingly eagerly as well. His voice was light and chipper. "Hey, Frank."
"Gerard, hi," I replied. This terrible dread was washing over me in a slow wave, consuming me. My stomach twisted to knots and my throat dried and tightened.
"What's up?" Gerard asked. There was some sort of garbled noise on his end. Chewing, maybe? I heard the distinct sound of an aluminum snack bag being crinkled. He must be eating. Gerard is always eating.

"Something came up with Ray," I admitted. "It's not good."
The munching sounds stopped pretty suddenly. "What do you mean?"
"Look, he said some things," I began. "Some real mean things, untrue things, by the way."

"Don't tell me you guys got into it," Gerard pleaded.
I winced, confessing, "We did."
Gerard audibly groaned. "Fine, I'll just have to smooth things over tomorrow with him, I guess. I wish you could since you started it, you know."
"Gerard, I don't think you can smooth this over," I told.

"Jesus Christ Frank, what'd you say?" Gerard demanded.
I bit my lip, deciding, "It wasn't what I said that pissed him off, but my reaction. The shit coming out of his mouth was far worse than anything from mine." I paused, realizing, "I guess I did tell him I hate people like him."
"Shit, Frank!" Gerard snapped.
I flinched, apologizing, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!"
"It doesn't matter whether you meant to or not, because you fucking did," Gerard barked.
I started to cry, and I worked hard to hide any signs that I was breaking down into tears as I retorted, "You don't have to talk to me like that."
Gerard's voice softened as he replied, "Frank, are you crying?"
I didn't respond, giving him the benefit of the doubt. But then again, Gerard knew me far too well for any of that saving face bullshit. "Frankie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm not upset with you, I'm just..."

"Worried," I cried. "Worried about tomorrow."
"What's tomorrow?" Gerard questioned.
I sniffled, "The photo will be halfway around the school by then. So have fun now while you can."

Gerard didn't answer for a long time. I didn't say anything either. There was just this long, uninterrupted silence. I like to think that it was a comfortable one, but it was really more contemplative. And not even contemplative of a good thing; we were considering all the various possibilities for our ass kickings the next day.
Finally, Gerard said, "It's worth it, you know."
"Hm?"
"You, you're worth it," Gerard decided. "It'll be okay, because I know that if I get a little too fucked, I can go to you. Like a crash pad, you know. Things go sour but you make it better. I've never had someone like that in my life, Frank."
"Me neither," I agreed. "We'll just have to see this one out, I guess."
Gerard chuckled, "I suppose."
"Alright, later man. I'm going to go to bed pretty soon here," I informed.
"Goodnight, Frank." Gerard wished. "Get some rest for tomorrow."

"You too, buddy."

I was just about to hang up when I heard Gerard say in a very small voice, "Frankie?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you," Gerard told.
I hardly blinked. "I love you too."
I hung up the phone, setting the device on my chest. Gerard Way was my first I love you. He wasn't the first time I said it to another person (excluding relatives of course), but he was the first time that I uttered the words and truly meant them. It was like having one good fuck after years of disappointing one night stands. I regained that honesty that I once had; Gerard gave that back to me. For that, I was forever grateful.
The next morning was not a stressful one, surprisingly enough. I woke up, later than I hoped for, as usual. I walked to school, leaving the camera behind for the first time in weeks. I still had editing to do, but luckily for me, if I kept a fair pace it'd be done in time. I didn't think about the whole filming thing too much anymore. At first I was really into the whole idea of documenting everything, but after a while, life just sort of... happens. And there's no waiting for the perfect natural lighting, no finding the appropriate camera mode, and most importantly, no retakes. While life may give you the chance to right your wrongs, those wrongs will still follow you to the grave. You can mitigate what damage you've already done, but you can't take it back. Oh, you can never take it back.
I met Gerard outside the school. His nose was burrowed into the front collar of his parka, his flushed cheeks and clear eyes peeking out at me.
"Hey," I greeted.
He chattered his teeth in response.
Rolling my eyes, I stepped inside, having him follow suit. He started to peel off his layers as we made our way down to breakfast, where eyes stared daggers.
"They're looking at us, not through us," Gerard assured.
"Pretty sure these kids are looking right through me," I insisted.
Gerard shook his head. "Looking through someone means you understand. Not that you sympathize necessarily, but that you have a grasp of who they are and what they go through." Gerard scowled at them. "They're looking at us."
We sat down with Ray, Pete, and Mikey. Mikey was buried in a console, Pete watching over his shoulder, and Ray was just taking his time eating his cereal. I sat down warily, Gerard plopping next to me.
"Aren't you guys popular?" Ray joked.

"Yeah, this is what Kennedy must've felt like," Gerard grumbled.
Pete gazed up from Mikey's screen, asking, "Is it... bad to be gay?"
"Peter, don't be stupid," I scoffed.
"No, I mean like at this school," Pete clarified. "If Mikey and I come out, will they stare at us like that?"
I was considering this, while Gerard merely replied, "Pete you guys are already a done deal. Everyone knows you're together and they don't really care. But see, these kids never liked me to begin with. Or Frank, no offense," Gerard told, glancing at me. "They're going to make fun of me no matter what. And this just happens to be a hot subject."
Mikey scrunched his nose. "How does everyone know about Pete and I?"

"Um, you guys are the reigning kings of PDA," Ray pointed out.
We all nodded in agreement. As someone walked by, I felt a rough hand grab at the back of my neck, hitting a pressure point and making my joints lock.

Notes

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