Where's The S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W Tonight?

“God,” I coughed, waving a hand in front of my face. “You’d think that eventually we’d run out of dust to kick up.”
Kobra grimaced. “Let’s get inside and wash up. I think dust is caked in my cut now, and I can taste it in the air”
I frowned, trying to view his hand, which he kept tucked into his pocket. “Kobra, are you okay? You never told me what happened.”
He nodded and dismounted from the bike, leaving me to lean it against the side of our bunker. “I’m fine.”
Shaking my head, I followed him into the dimly lit entry. A single, bare lightbulb hung from a beat-up wire, barely illuminating what we called home. I hung my jacket on a loose nail, and stretched.
“It’s about time,” Fun called, striding into the entryway. He leaned against the wall, staring pointedly at me. “So, did your great idea come to fruition?”
“Shut up,” I snapped, shouldering past him. Kobra laughed behind us.
Fun grinned, placing his hand on my shoulder, and turning me to face him. “Sorry, Poison.” He stopped smiling and nodded at me. “I know that you wanted to find information.”
“It’s not important,” I muttered. He raised an eyebrow, but let my comment pass uncontested.
“Well, if it isn’t important, cheer up.” Fun said, squeezing my shoulder. “Come on, Poison. Dinner’s waiting.”
I smiled at him. No matter what he did, I could never stay mad at Fun. I had known him for so long, he was practically family. The whole crew was family. D too, but he would soon be out of the picture for a while.
“Oooooh,” Kobra yelled, pushing past us. “Fun, what did you make?”
Fun laughed, jogging after him into the kitchen. “I broke out the second pallet of cans. We’re having your favorite, Poison,” he shouted over his shoulder, beckoning me to accompany them.
“You’re the best, Fun,” Kobra joked. “Such a gourmet cook. People should come from miles around to experience the sheer delight of your cooking.”
Fun rolled his eyes. Then he saw Kobra’s hand and the smile slid from his face. “Kobra, what happened?”
Kobra groaned, shaking his head, and headed for the first aid cabinet. “God, I’m going already.”
I stepped into his path, staring him down. “Kobra. You still haven’t answered our question. What happened?”
He growled, shoving me aside. “What the hell, Poison! Can’t you just leave me alone?”
I narrowed my eyes, taking in his appearance. His jacket was arranged haphazardly over his shirt, which was backwards. It hadn’t been when we left. “Your shirt’s backwards, Kobra.”
He flinched, looking down. He stared up at me, eyes worried, and I could almost feel him trying to create a lie. “I- I got hot, and I wanted some air…”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Kobra, what the fuck did you do? Did you find a Porno droid? Let me guess, she wasn’t on duty, but you approached her anyway. Was that when you were hurt?”
His eyes widened briefly, then he laughed. “Me? Come on, Poison. You know I’d never…”
“I used to,” I cut in. My eyes stung. “Kobra, what were you thinking? You know better than to force anyone, even a robot, to do something like that!”
Kobra’s face crumpled, and he breathed in shakily, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes and fixing me with an accusing stare. “Poison, I promise I didn’t force myself on anyone. I swear, I’d rather die than do that. Don’t you know that?”
“I don’t know, Kobra. Not anymore,” I said coldly. Kobra’s eyes filled with hurt, and he turned and ran from the kitchen.
Fun sighed, heading for the first aid cabinet. “Poison, don’t you think you were a little hard on…”
“No,” I barked, turning on my heel, and walking back to the entryway.
Fun’s hand caught my shoulder, and I stopped. “Poison,” he said with a gentle tone, “You should go talk to him. Bring bandages for him, okay? I’m worried.”
I groaned. Sinking into a chair, I rested my head in my hands. “Fun, I don’t know what to do. Since when has Kobra smoked?”
Fun frowned at me. “He smokes? What are you talking about? I’ve never seen him do anything like that.”
“Exactly,” I replied, sighing. “He smokes, and now this incident. Fun, do you think I’ve done something wrong? Should I send him home?”
Fun immediately shook his head. “Poison, I don’t know why Kobra is acting this way, but you can’t send him home. He’s better off here, with us. You need to go talk to him.”
“I can’t,” I said miserably, glancing up at Fun. He looked nonplussed, but determined. “What would I even say? I don’t know him anymore, Fun. I just don’t know.”
After a minute of silence, Fun cleared his throat. “Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try to understand him. Ask him what’s up. Don’t accuse him, Poison. He’ll get defensive, and then you won’t be able to talk with him.”
I laughed, overwhelmed. “Fun, maybe you should do this. I’ve never been diplomatic, you know that.”
Fun shook his head. “No, it has to be you. Please, Poison, he needs this. You both do.”
“Fine,” I sighed, standing. Before I could lose my nerve, I squared my shoulders, swallowed, and started back to Kobra’s bedroom. It was the closest room to the kitchen, and Kobra had requested it for that specific reason.
I rapped on the small metal door, leaning close to listen for an answer. It was silent. “Kobra, can you open up?” I called through the metal, trying the doorknob, which was locked. There was no answer.
“Fine,” I muttered. I slumped against the wall, waiting. He would come out eventually.
Finally the door opened. Kobra stood in the doorway, his hand balled into a fist. “Poison, get the hell away from me. I’m not in the mood for a lecture.”
“Good thing I’m not here to give one,” I retorted, folding my arms. “Look, Kobra, I need to talk to you.”
He rolled his eyes, but stepped aside to allow me into his bedroom. It was small, filled with army issue furniture; a cot, a chair, and a trunk for storage. The same as everyone else’s.
I sat on the cot, waiting for Kobra to join me. Instead, he opted to lean against the wall and stare at me disapprovingly.
“So, why’re you here?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me everything I’ve done wrong, please.”
“Look, Kobra, I’m sorry,” I blurted. Both his eyebrows rose. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I just… I don’t really seem to know you anymore. And I really want to. I guess what I’m trying to ask is for you to talk to me, Kobra. What’s going on? Have I done anything wrong?”
Kobra gaped at me, then suddenly sat down beside me and crossed his legs. “Poison, I’m fine! You don’t have to be worried about me.”
I shook my head. “No, Kobra. Why are you suddenly acting like you hate me? You haven’t been like that in the past.”
I bit my lip, remembering Kobra when he first joined my crew. He was constantly excited about everything, and had an insatiable curiosity.
Kobra stared at the floor. “Poison, please don’t think that I hate you,” he mumbled.
I cautiously reached to touch his shoulder, and he pulled away. I sighed before answering him. “What did I do? I’ve tried to be fair to you. I thought you liked being with me and the others. Do you not? Do you want to go home?”
His head shot up. “God, Poison, no!” he said fiercely. “I want to stay with you.”
“Then why…” I trailed off, running a hand across my face. “Look, I just want you to talk to me. Please tell me what’s going on with you. I know I’m not your dad, and I never will be, but I’m the closest thing you’ve got. And I want to be there for you.”
Kobra stayed silent, drumming his feet on the concrete floor. I bit my lip and stood.
“Just… I’m here if you want to say anything,” I said, nodding at him. “Kobra, I’m not going to bother you about what happened today, okay? I only want to make sure you’re okay.”
He nodded. “Thanks, I guess,” he mumbled, slouching further against the wall. I sighed, turned back to the door, and started to leave.
Behind me, Kobra sobbed once. A low, dry sound, it made me spin around immediately.
“Kobra? You okay?” I asked, my forehead creasing. He looked up, his face scared and angry.
“No,” he yelled, voice cracking. “I’m not. Poison, please just leave me alone! I can’t… I can’t talk to you about this. I… I don’t know what’s going on.”
I walked back to Kobra and guided him to his cot, making him sit down. I sat beside him and looked at him gently. “Look. If you’re afraid of what I’m going to think, don’t be. You can tell me anything, I promise. I won’t get mad.”
He laughed bitterly. “I’m not sure about that.”
I sighed, pushing his shoulder gently. “Kobra, please. I want to know what’s wrong. I’m worried about you.”
Kobra sat completely still, his expression tense. “Fine,” he blurted after a moment. “Just… you can’t tell anyone.”
I nodded encouragingly. “I won’t, Kobra, don’t worry. Complete radio silence from my part.”
I wondered what he was about to say. I wasn’t really nervous about it, because he wouldn’t have done something too bad, but I had no idea what was happening.
Kobra shuffled his feet and stared at the concrete floor. “I… Um, I think…” He ran a hand over his face, groaning. “God, Poison, I don’t think I can do this.”
I smiled, shaking my head. “No, you can do it. Come on, Kobra, say it and then we’ll go get dinner. Fun’s waiting.”
He inhaled sharply. “The thing is… it’s about Fun. Um…” He paused again. “Well, the thing is, I’m in love with Fun and I don’t know what to do.” he blurted, immediately looking at me to gauge my reaction.
It took me a second to process his words. “Kobra? Fun?”, I thought, confused. Kobra was in love with Fun?
I had never thought that Kobra would love Fun. Kobra was wild and, well, a little insane, and Fun was… he was Fun.
I slowly nodded, trying to wrap my head around his statement. “Okay.”
Kobra bit his lip and looked away from me. “You… you aren’y happy about this, I can tell.”
“No!” I protested, shaking my head. “Kobra, I’m not upset. I guess I’m just confused.”
He smiled slightly. “Yeah. I love Fun, Poison. What should I do? I’m afraid to say anything.”
“I don’t… I don’t know,” I admitted. “Hang on, if you’re in love with him, what was the smoking and stuff about?”
“I just wanted to be someone I wasn’t, Poison. Do you understand? I don’t want to be the kid anymore. I don’t want to be thought of as a child.”
I nodded. “And Fun smokes. Okay, I guess. Just be careful with it. Don’t get addicted. Okay, but what about the cut and backwards shirt? What happened?”
Kobra sighed. “I was just sitting there, waiting for you, and this drunk guy walks up. He, um, sat beside me and started rambling, telling me about everything that had happened to him. I tried to ignore him at first, but pretty soon he told me that he had fallen for this other dude. I actually told him about Fun, and he laughed and started to try to kiss me. I couldn’t fend him off, Poison. He was really strong. So I was struggling with him, and suddenly he backed away. I guess he had realized that I wasn’t alone. He had pulled my shirt off and he just dropped it on the ground. I pulled the shirt back on, backwards, I guess, and tried to move away from him. He threw his bottle at me, and it broke and cut my hand, Then, cursing at me, he turned and stumbled away, dead drunk.”
“What… why didn’t you say anything?” I asked, angry. “I would’ve chased him down, Kobra!”
“That’s why I didn’t mention it,” he mumbled. “I didn’t want you to have to do that. It wasn’t a big deal.”
I groaned. “Next time we go there, I’m bringing someone else along with us. They can stay and make sure that he doesn’t come back.”
Kobra rolled his eyes, but nodded in agreement. “If it helps you sleep at night.”
“And about the other thing…” I hesitated. “I don’t think that Fun would be upset with you.”
“But would he want me?” Kobra challenged, smiling joylessly. “I can’t say anything, Poison.”
I nodded. “Okay. Look, don’t worry about this. It’s all going to work out.”
“I’ll make it work out,” I thought, “If it’s the last thing I do.” Kobra deserved having someone like Fun. Fun… well, Kobra would be a good partner for him.
“Thanks,” Kobra said, grinning in relief. “I didn’t think you’d be okay with this, honestly. Thanks, Poison.”
I grinned back and stood. “Come on, Kobra. Let’s get dinner and fix your hand up.”
“Thanks,” he said again, and followed me back towards the kitchen.

Notes