I take a drag from my cigarette as I look down on the city from the rooftop of my apartment building. No, I'm not planning on committing suicide. I'm just up on the roof because its the best place for a smoke..

Why do we do all of this? I mean, why do put so much of an effort into living? We're just going to end up dying anyways. So, why go to the trouble of doing all of this? Going to school, getting a job, all of it... I'm simply asking as to why we make life so complicated when it is so simple. We are born, we live, and then we die. Done.

Mikey would be so pissed at you right now if he heard what you were thinking. He would kill you for smoking that cigarette. The little voice in my head says.

"Yeah, well, he's not fucking here right now, is he?!" I half ask /half yell at myself. The tears start to form in my eyes. Four days ago my little brother was in a car crash. Today is his funeral. It starts at 2:30. Its 1:30 right now. I should be leaving but I don't want to come to grips that Mikey's gone. I sigh. Then, I drop my cigarette and step on it to put it out. Time to go.

The drive there is hell. I shed a lot of tears but I'd rather cry in my car than in front of anyone. Once I get there, I sit for a minute and pull myself together. I get out of my car and go inside to wait for everyone else to arrive. My parents would be here but my Mom is dead and my father fell off the face of the Earth a year after she died. I was 13 when she died. 14 when he left. My aunt took care of us after that. I'm thankful that she agreed to help plan the funeral because I know I couldn't do it by myself.

People start to arrive. Family. His friends. Then, right before it starts, his two best friends walk in. Ray and Bob. They look like hell. By the way they looked, it seemed like they hadn't eaten or gotten any sleep in the past few days. Well....I can't say much for myself because I know I haven't. They both hug me and start crying. Don't cry. Don't fucking cry.

I kept repeating to myself. After a second or two, I've joined them in crying. We all lost one of our best friends that day. We all lost our brother.

It's a little funny, you know. Bob, Ray, and I never really hung out together. The only reason we really knew each other is because of Mikey. Yet, here we are, treating each other like brothers. We let go and looked at eachother. I am almost one hundred percent positive that that was the exact moment that we made the silent contract to look after each other. For Mikey's sake. The service started. The priest babbled on for awhile. My aunt talked about how precious he was. Then, unexpectedly, she called my name.

"Gerard, honey, you knew him better than any of us. Would you come up and say a few words?" She asks. How the fuck was I supposed to say no? I get up and give her a weak smile. When I reach the front of the room, and stand behind the podium, I give a breathy laugh.

"Before I begin, know that I didn't have anything prepared and this is all straight from my, uh, heart. Geez, that sounds a lot cliche when you say it out loud." That earned me a couple of chuckles from the crowd. "Alright....Mikey, was not just my brother. He was my best friend, my counsler, my human diary. We told each other everything. You know, he was a really sweet kid...Almost a little too sweet, sometimes, in my opinion. He always put others before himself which got him hurt a couple of times.....He was selfless, shameless, and just a great kid. And another thing, I know he would not want us to mourn over his death. He would want us to go out and party because he had a great run. He would want us to learn to be better people and to carry on his attitude. That man was one the quietest, wierdest, energetic, and, sweetest people anyone will ever meet. He is gone now. But no one needs to be upset about that and I'm sure Michael is looking down on us and agreeing with me. No one wants to believe it either.....I've got an idea, and it will sound crazy, so bear with me, but lets not just let him die. Let's pretend he faked his death and he has left each of us a task. He wants us to make sure that he keeps living. We have to do that by not being sad. By taking a little piece of him and showing it in ourselves. So, I'm telling you right now, start celebrating death instead of mourning over it. Start vowing to try to take a little piece of their personality, their lifestyle and incorporate it into yours. That will keep them alive. Don't let anyone die. Let them live in you." I paused for a moment.

"Mikey, I love you. I never said that enough and I know we had our fights. But, I do love you. And you are still my little brother. I miss you so far but I will not just let you die." I could hear my voice getting tighter and feel my eyes wetting. I smiled at everyone and then sat back down. We ended with a prayer.

We went out to the cemetery and started the burial. They set him in the ground and I walked up to the grave, looknig down at my little brother's coffin. I picked up a handful of dirt from the pile of dirt. Then, I turned back to see almost everyone was watching me. I raised my hand in the air.

"To Mikey!" I said and let the dirt fall out of my hand and into his grave. Ray and Bob almost immediately copied me.

"To Mikey!" The claimed in unison and let the dirt fall on his coffin. Almost everyone starts to follow my lead. Then, before anyone can notice, I sneak out of the crowd and get in my car to go home.

Notes

Well, this is my first book on here so far, so, I hope you like it! Thanks so much for reading! ~ Terra <3