This story is starting to be painful.

My thoughts are running through my head. They’re fast, there’s nowhere to hide, and I have to face the truth. Everything is broken. Everything I ever loved is gone. Well maybe not everything, but surely the main part of my life.

I can feel my heart beating like it knew it’s all going to end soon. Maybe it does, but I don’t care anymore. I’m too numb to feel.

I carefully roll my sleeves up, seeing the scars, the memories, the happy endings that never happened. Some of these were made with hope, some of these were born from fear.

I should be scared, but I’m not. I’m happy now, I know my ending, and I know my story. Are you asking me what it brings? Pain, tears, memories that never happened, and finally, peace.

When I take the last look on my hometown I feel finally free. For the first time in my life. I take a deep breath of fresh air. It was raining, the air is now so full of everything new, and it’s full of hope that tomorrow it will maybe fall again. I wish I could be a rain drop. Everything would be so easy.

I can feel the teardrop trailing its way down my face, I don’t even bother to wipe it out, why should I do that anyway? It’s a part of me, just like my decisions, just like my mistakes. I can’t help but smile, it’s been a very long day.

****

“Don’t you dare make jokes, Dean, I had enough the last time.” I said with a smile, carefully sitting down on a chair in cafeteria. Believe it or not (or more like, damn right believe it I’m almost dead), I have some post-date injuries.

I literally saw the smirk on Dean’s face as I hissed in pain. Ooh great, he’s so not gonna let this slip away easily. Sneaky little shit.

It was just when I raised up my sandwich to finally silence my hurting stomach, when I felt a warm breath on my neck. What the heck?

I swiftly spun around on my chair and came face to face with Amelia. OH! This day could get any better? First my father beating me up like a dog last night, some lovey-dovey injuries from Gerard from previous night, and now I guess mental manipulation.

“Heyyyy babeee.” Oh come on.

“Hello, Amelia.” Sam and Dean looked at each other with wary expressions on their faces, it was almost like they waited for Amelia to go nuts and start killing me with a knife. Well honestly that could happened anytime now, I’ve been trying not to ignore her for weeks now, it’s incredibly annoying. And honestly? I think she knows something. I just hope it’s not about Gerard.

“So I was thinking… Janice is having a giant birthday party tonight. Not kidding, it’s gonna be huge. I wanna go with you. Seriously Frank, it’s been a really long time since you and I were out on a date.” Eh, I don’t like where this is going.

“I’m kind of busy, Amelia.” Dean and Sam immediately started coughing. Emergency cue. Okay.

“I mean, school has been extremely hard on me this past few weeks, you know, and with the senior year I wanna do great. Best grades and everything.” I murmured.

Lie. Never wanted to attend university.

“Come on, Frankie, please.” Amelia pleaded with her big puppy dog eye stare. Before, I wouldn’t be able to resist, but now I can hardly recall anything in me that’s drawn to it. Between pretend sigh and thinking about answer, I took a quick glance for Dean. He was being very wary, his face showed a sign that he knew what would be best for me to do. And as much as I dreaded it, he was right. With my non existing boyfriend behavior, I had to step up to the game. If I wanted to me and Gerard to be a thing without anyone noticing, I had to play through the pain.

With another sigh I nodded and the smile on her face appeared bright and shiny as always.

“Awwww you’re so sweet, Frankie. Okay, what about you pick me up around 8 o’clock? The party should be running good at the time already.” She said, picking up a string of hair, playing with it between her fingers.

“Okay, as you say, Amelia. I’ll be there.” After my response, she turned my face to kiss me - eh no – and then walked away to sit with her friends.

“Dude,” Dean started but I shut him down with simple “I know.” And got back to my sandwich.

Oh God, this is going to be a long night.

Notes

Sup guys. Yep. I'm still alive.
I know I've been gone for a lifetime. A lot of shit went down in past couple of months. I don't wanna bore you with my lifestory so I will just cut it right here. This chapter is not proofread and so is not this note, I will look into it later. I know this is very short for the amount of time I was gone, but trust me, real juicy stuff is coming up. With love, .... eh, me?