Lilly jumped slightly as she heard the door open, turning around to see Gerard enter the room with her dress and underwear bundled up in his hands.

‘Hey’ he said softly, a smile gracing his face. ‘I got these for you.’

He walked over to her with quick steps, the smile still on his face as he failed to recognise the sudden change in Lilly’s body language. He handed her the clothes, which she took with shaking hands as she finally looked at him and made eye contact.

Her breath hitched for a moment, as she was momentarily side tracked by his amazing looks. His skin was flawless, his golden brown eyes were large clear and bright and his smile was the most charming thing she had ever seen.

Before she could pull herself together he locked his lips with hers, as his hands grabbed her hips and pulled her naked body into his own. She could feel his arousal growing under his flimsy boxers as his body heated up along with her own.

His hand travelled up to cup her breast, and she moaned when he squeezed it lightly before running his thumb over her nipple making her gasp. He smiled into the kiss and gave a chuckle before he pulled his lips away from her, breaking the temporary spell he held over her.

Mentally pulling herself together, Lilly had to remind herself that he was using her to cheat on his girlfriend. Behind the nice smile and charming façade he was nothing more than a opportunist who took the first chance he got to get another girl into bed.

She fell for the boyish charm and she got trampled on, yet again.

She felt her anger and indignation rise again as he spoke.

‘So, where do you want to go?’ he asked, as he fixed a piece of flyaway hair behind her ear in what appeared to be an affectionate move.

‘I don’t think breakfast is a good idea’ she said quickly, trying to keep her anger out of her voice. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had hurt her. Guys like him enjoyed getting a reaction

‘About time you learnt something!’ Her Inner Voice spoke with triumph.

His face fell slightly, as a confused expression flashed across his face.

‘Why not’ he asked, as she swore he almost sounded hurt.

‘I have to go home and get changed; I’m not going anywhere in last night’s clothes’ she said, her voice hard.

‘We could get a cab back to yours first then, it’s not a big deal’ he replied.

‘I’d rather not’ she replied shortly her patience wearing thin as she stepped away from him and turned around, starting to put her clothes on.

‘Did I do something?’ he asked, frustration lacing his voice.

‘No’ she replied shortly.

He sighed angrily, and she was certain if she turned to look at him he would look pissed off.

‘Then what’s with the sudden bitchiness?’

Pulling her dress over her head, she turned around sharply.

‘Do you have a girlfriend?’ she asked accusingly, not thinking as her anger flared.

‘What? Why would you even think that?’ he asked, his voice rising in pitch slightly with indignation.

‘Answer the question.’

‘No, I don’t. If you must know I just broke up with someone a couple of months ago.’

She searched his face for any sign he was lying. She couldn’t find any.

‘Ok.’ She said, nodding her head in affirmation.

‘Ok? ... You just accused me of cheating on a girlfriend and all you have to say is ok?’ He was clearly angry, and Lilly felt ashamed for letting her jealously get to her so quickly.

This was why she avoided relationships. She always fell too quickly, and she lost her head in the excitement and rush of emotions. She let her emotions overwhelm her to the point that she left all logic and sense of self preservation behind, as she became consumed in the other person. This made her reluctant to trust anybody as her jealousy would be the most prominent of all these emotions.

‘I’m sorry’ she spoke in a small voice, kicking herself for possibly screwing up this… whatever it was, before it had even started.

‘Whatever’ he sighed angrily. ‘I’ll walk you out.’

Lilly could feel the tears beginning to well up and she kept her head down so Gerard wouldn’t see.

‘Don’t worry about it.’ She said her voice surprisingly strong as she walked past him and on out of his apartment. She didn’t need to look back to know he stood still as he let her leave.

*************************************************

When she got home she had spent a couple of hours working on lesson plans for the next day before she let herself get consumed in her feelings of shame, anger and regret. She was angry that she had let someone get under her skin so quickly. It was something she had avoided for exactly this reason but she let it happen anyway. She had no one to blame but her own idiotic self.

She spent the evening in her sweatpants and band t-shirt as she lounge in front of the TV in self pity. She jumped in surprise when her phone started to ring. She picked it up, curious to see who was calling. She had no intention of answering to anyone, she didn’t want to talk. She just wanted to have one evening of wallowing before she had to put on her mask again the next day.

She picked it up with an annoyed sigh, and felt her stomach slip as she saw Gerard’s name on the screen. She debated whether she should reply before she made the decision to answer.

‘Hello?’

‘Hey, it’s Gerard’ his voice sounded almost nervous.

‘I know, your name came up on my phone.’

He gave a short laugh.

‘Look, I’m sorry about earlier… can I see you so we can talk?’

She bit her lip as she wondered if it was a good idea. Maybe she would be better off cutting her losses now before she got herself in any deeper but she knew she would regret not seeing him one last time, especially after the way she had left this morning.

‘ Okay, you can call over I suppose’ she gave him her address and directions, hoping he would be able to follow them properly.

They hung up after a quick goodbye, as Lilly realised she would have to get changed out of her current attire. She may not care too much about her appearance and what others thought of her but she did have some pride, just enough to not want Gerard see her in full on slob mode.

She threw on a pair of jeans and some old t-shirt and brushed her hair, quickly deciding against make up. She wasn’t trying to act like she cared too much either.

Time appeared to have speeded up as it seemed like only five minutes later there was a knock on her door. She took another quick glance at her appearance as she took in a deep breath and opened the door.

He stood there, looking slightly nervous in a boyish way as she felt her heart melt at the sight.

‘Hey’ he said softly.

‘Hey’ she said as she opened the door wider and stepped aside, inviting him in.

He gave her open plan living room a quick glance over before he commented.

‘Nice place.’

‘Thanks.’

The air was filled with awkward tension as they looked at each other for a moment, the other secretly hoping the other would say something.

Lilly broke the silence.

‘Do you want something to drink?’ she plastered a smile on her face, hoping it would ease the tension somewhat.

‘Do you have any coffee?’

‘Nope, coffee is banned in this apartment. I have tea though.’

He had a look of disbelief on his face as he raised an eyebrow at her.

‘How can you not have coffee?’

‘Simple. I don’t buy it, none of my friends really drink it, and any family that drink coffee also drink tea. I can’t stand the smell and I refuse to have my place infected with it.’

He chuckled.

‘Tea will do I suppose.’

She walked into the kitchen and boiled the kettle, as she tried not to let her nerves get the better of her.

She didn’t realise Gerard had followed her in until she turned around to grab mugs for the tea and found him right behind her.

‘Look, I’m sorry about earlier.’ He started quickly, talking fast as though he just wanted to get his speech over and done with. ‘ I suppose I’m just not comfortable talking about what happened yet. I was pretty hurt and I just want to forget about it-‘

‘It’s ok’ Lilly interrupted him, not wanting to hear anymore. Hearing him talk about someone who broke his heart would only make her feel more insecure about herself. She was better off not knowing. ‘ You don’t have to explain, and to be honest I don’t want to know. I’m sorry I acted the way I did earlier; I’m an insecure person who has a hard time trusting people and I saw the pictures you had and I just… assumed that you were using me.’

He nodded in understanding, and she hoped that maybe he would appreciate her honesty.

‘ Look, I know we both have issues and we’ve both had bad experiences, but I don’t know I just… I want to see where this goes I suppose? I know we only met yesterday but for the first time in months I’m excited about something and I thinking about other things other than how shit things have been lately.’

‘So, I’m a distraction?’ she asked slowly, a smile playing on her lips.

He smiled back at her.

‘Maybe. That’s not a bad thing though, is it?’ he replied in the cocky tone she was use to hearing, as he invaded her personal space.

‘I suppose not.’

With that, he pushed his lips to hers.

Notes

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