Chasing the Sun

“Hey, Lil, can I talk to you for a sec?”

Lucy’s cheery tone interrupted Lilly’s last minute prep work for her class plan. The start of term was now mere days away, and Lilly found she was eager to return to the classroom after the long break. She had an older group this year, and while she had been annoyed at first by the unexpected change, she was now more positive about the idea. There were a lot of upsides to having an older group that she didn’t get with the ‘babies’, as she called them. The older children would be easier to control and better able to sit and listen during lessons. They also required less mothering (not that she minded mothering the children, really, hence why she had taken the Junior Infants class in the first place) and were at the age where they could voice opinions, which meant she could table a weekly discussion time with the group.

“Sure.What’s up?” Lilly saved her document and closed her laptop, centring her attention on her roommate. Lucy looked a little apprehensive, wringing her hands together in a sign of nervousness.

“Is something wrong?” Lilly asked, concerned for her roommate and friend of five years, who was rarely anxious about anything. She was one of those confident, upbeat people, and it was a case of opposites attracting when it came to their friendship. Lilly had to admit that most of the college friends she had made, had been because of Lucy’s interference and dominating personality, refusing to let Lilly shy away into the background like she wanted.

“Well, you know that I’ve been spending a lot of time in John’s place lately?”

Lilly nodded.

“His roommate, Stephen, is moving out in a week, and John… he asked if I wanted to move in with him.”

“Lucy, that’s great!” Lilly squealed with delight, springing up from her chair and hugging her roommate.

“Isn’t it? So, you’re okay with me moving out?”

“Oh,” Lilly faltered, only putting the reality of Lucy’s words together now. She was stunned, though she knew she shouldn’t be. Lucy and John had been together for over a year, and Lucy was barely in their apartment anymore. She spent all her time with John, so it was a natural next step. She was happy for Lucy,but she was now left in an awkward position of finding a roommate, and it hit her like a tonne of bricks. She couldn’t let it show, and ruin Lucy’s moment.

“Of course, Hun! You have to do what’s right for you, and this is a big thing! Don’t worry about me. I’m sure I can find someone to move in.” Lilly faked her cheer with a smile and more enthusiasm than she felt.

“It’s a nice apartment.You’ll have your pick of people, and I’ll pay you next month’s rent for the short notice, so you’ll have more time for people to view the place. I think I might know someone from work who’s looking to move, I can say it to her, if you want?” Lucy’s previous anxiousness seemed to have been relieved by Lilly’s reaction, and now her smile was wide and lighting up her freckle dusted face. Her blue eyes were the epitome of pure happiness, and it made Lilly cease her selfish thinking.

“You’re right. We’re in a good location, and the rent’s a good price. I’ll find someone.” Lilly agreed.

“Maybe you should ask Gerard?”

Lilly’s eyebrows rose before she burst into a fit of giggles at Lucy’s suggestion. She could just picture Gerard’s face if she were to bring it up.

“Oh,God! I think he’d have a heart attack. We’ve only been going out for four months.It’d be way too soon, don’t you think?”

“Time doesn’t mean anything, Lilly.Not when it comes to the heart. I knew I was in love with John after our second date. I mean, I’ve only met Gerard a couple of times, so I can’t say I know him very well, but just from the times I have seen you two together, it’s easy to see you two are crazy for each other. I’ve seen you with other guys, and you’ve never been so…yourself, with someone. I know lately we haven’t been spending as much time together as we should, but I can tell you’re in love. Why not ask him?”

“Maybe,” Lilly said uncertainly.

How would he react to the suggestion? She automatically assumed it wouldn’t be a good one, but what if he agreed? Was Lilly herself ready for such a big step? People could change when they moved in together, and tensions could rise when you’re faced with all the little quirks a person hides in the safety of their own home. What if he was messy? What if he got pissed off when she had all her school work strewn over the table? Part of her really wanted to believe Lucy’s optimism that it wouldn’t be a disaster, but there were too many variables to be certain that it would lead to domestic bliss. Lucy was right about one thing, though- time wasn’t going to make living together any easier. It was a risk anybody took, whether they were together a few months, or five years.

“It was just a suggestion, Lilly. Don’t over-think it. Maybe you're right.It probably is too soon.” Lucy backtracked, not liking Lilly’s sudden quietness.

“Anyway, how did he ask? Tell me everything!” Lilly turned the conversation around, pushing the thoughts out of her mind, and losing herself in Lucy’s tale.

**

“Hey, sugar!” Gerard’s New Jersey twang slipped out with ease, walking in the front door of Lilly’s apartment, looking tired, but in a good mood nonetheless.

“Hey!” Lilly kissed his lips, delighted that she had a distraction from the last-minute class preparation that was stressing her out. She was very nearly finished- one more day, and it would be done, ready to hand to the principal for inspection. She knew she was worrying too much about it, but it was a new age group, and all her prep work was from scratch.

Things had been better lately with Gerard in the weeks since their talk. He was keeping his promise of trying to not suddenly cut her out when he needed time alone, and Lilly tried to be less pessimistic. She was surprised how much better she felt, when she stopped thinking so much about the future and just lived in the present. Gerard would still be a no-show for days, but now he would text her to let her know that he was okay, and that he hadn’t forgotten about her. Of course, sometimes he forgot, as old habits did indeed die hard, but he was making an effort, and that was all Lilly could ask for.

“How was work?” Lilly asked, leading Gerard into the sitting room.

“It was okay,” Gerard replied vaguely, waving a hand dismissively. He leaned in for another kiss, and it was only then that Lilly could taste the hint of beer that lingered on his lips. It was something she was becoming more and more used to. He wasn’t drunk, so maybe it was ridiculous to feel the sting of concern, but she wisely decided to keep it to herself. It wouldn’t be worth the argument, and she really wanted to enjoy Gerard’s company.

“So, how was your day?” Gerard asked when they sat down, picking up the remote and flicking through the channels, as though it was his TV. It only served to bring back Lilly’s earlier conversation with Lucy, which she had managed to distract herself from for most of the day. Now, it was firmly back in the forefront of her thoughts, and it was much harder to forget about them when Gerard was there, lounging on the couch with a homely ease.

“Got a good bit of work done, so I should have the lesson plans finished tomorrow. And Lucy is moving out.”

Gerard’s neck turned from the TV to Lilly sharply, with speed that was certain to cause whiplash.

“Did you guys argue?” he asked with concern, rubbing his neck.

“No. John just asked her to move in with him, and she said yes. Now, I’ve to find a new roommate, which really sucks.”

“I’m sorry, sugar,” Gerard wrapped an arm around her, rubbing his large hand comfortingly up and down her arm.

“It’s not your fault. It was going to happen eventually. She’s barely here, plus they’ve been together for a while. I’m happy for her.It just sucks that I’m gonna end up living with a stranger. God knows who I’ll end up having as a roommate, you know.”

“I wish there was something I could do.”

“You could move in,” She laughed, her tone light.

Gerard giggled, and even though Lilly had used a joking tone, the little nip of hurt that she felt was disheartening. She knew he wouldn’t want to, if she had brought it up in a serious conversation but, it was apparently too absurd for him to even joke about. Lilly tried to cover up the hurt, and fixed on a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. When Gerard recovered from his bout of laughter, he smiled at her, unaware of Lilly’s devastation. It didn’t take him long to see through Lilly’s mask.

“Were you being serious?” he asked, clearly confused.

“No…not really,” Lilly dismissed, looking at her lap to avoid Gerard’s scrutinising gaze, “I’m going to get some tea.Do you want some?” Lilly tried to stand up, but was stopped short by Gerard’s hand gently wrapping around her wrist.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh, I thought you were joking.”

“I was.Don’t worry about it.”

“Lilly,” Gerard warned, his tone slightly exasperated.

“I shouldn’t have brought it up. Let’s forget I said it, okay?”

“Lilly, if you want me to move in, just say it!”

The look on his face was intense, and Lilly couldn’t make out what was going on in his head. Her automatic reaction was to continue pretending that she didn’t mean it, but she wondered if maybe she should just be honest.

“I dunno...I know we haven’t been dating for too long, but I’d rather live with you than a stranger,” she admitted with a blush, avoiding his eyes.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Lilly raised an eyebrow at how he could give such a simple answer like it wasn’t a big deal.

“I don’t see why not. Better than you living with some stranger. Plus, I spend half my time here anyway, and my roommate is an asshole.It’s a win-win.”

“So, we’re moving in together?” Lilly clarified, somehow unable to quite believe it.

“I guess so,” Gerard smirked, giving her a peck on the lips.

“Are we being completely crazy?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Probably, but where’s the fun in being cautious be, huh?”

She let his words wash over her, feeling giddy and strangely calm at the same time. It was a big moment in their relationship, or in any relationship, for that matter. The smile that fixed itself on her face was one of pure happiness, and Lilly felt nothing but joy and contentment.

Notes

There are only five chapters left, so the end is near! Hope you guys are still enjoying this!
Lyra