Hell-Bent on Slipping Away (Frerard)

Gerard leaned in, practically on top of Frank, slowly closing his eyes. Their lips were almost touching, but Frank backed away at the last second.

Gerard's eyes fluttered open. "Chicken!" he exclaimed, removing himself from Frank and sitting back down on the bed. He brushed a lock of long hair out of his face - it was cherry red now, a big difference from the bleach blonde two months ago and the jet black that he wore when Frank had first met him in middle school.

"I know, I know," said Frank, defeated. Gay chicken always ended the same way for them - Frank always lost, Gerard always won.

Gerard won at everything between the pair. It may have been his age; two years can make a big difference. Or it may have been the fact that Gerard was naturally talented at whatever he tried, leaving Frank to be the omega in their friendship. As spacey as Gerard was, Frank found it somewhat hard to believe that he found so much success in academics as well as arts.

Gerard also won at being the most confusing. Sometimes he would say the most outlandish things, things that never made sense to Frank. Other times he would allow Frank a glimpse into his mind, his insight, his dreams. He was always up for sneaking out, often to Frank's house or another point of interest never disclosed, and Frank knew that he would stay safe but couldn't help but worry. And not to mention his sexuality. Gerard hadn't "come out" per say, but he didn't ever say anything otherwise. Frank just had his suspicions, and he had known him for almost four years, but in that time, Gerard never dated anybody.

With his best friend, Frank was an open book, yet still timid all the same, meaning he was far too nervous to come out himself. He hadn't told him that he wasn't straight when Gerard expressed his rather passionate opinions against homophobia, as opportune a time that was. Plus, gay chicken was always somewhat fun for Frank, even if he was always the loser; and if you're actually gay (or somewhat gay, like he was), that's cheating.

Presently, Gerard unpaused the video game in front of them. It was some war game he had brought over to Frank's house, and Frank sucked at it. It took him a while to realize that he had been already killed and out of the game for five minutes. Frank watched Gerard's playing, mesmerized, until he too eventually lost the game.

"Play again?" the older boy asked, looking up. Frank shook his head no. "Why not?" Gerard's eyebrows furrowed. He obviously enjoyed the game.

Frank shrugged. "I'm no good at it. And dinner is gonna be ready soon."

Gerard pushed him gently on the shoulder. "C'mon dude, you're just fine."

Frank appreciated the kind words, but they were always untrue. Whenever Gerard said that he was "just fine" at something, it really meant he was awful and Gerard was ten times better. "No, I'm not, but that's okay." He paused, looking down. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Gerard shook his head. "That's alright. But thanks." Frank's mother, as if on cue, then called the boys to come to the table and Gerard said, "I better go. See you tomorrow morning." Even in the suburbs, Indianapolis wasn't the safest place, so Frank always worried when he left.

Frank said goodbye and watched as his friend opened up the bedroom window and climbed out down the conveniently placed trellis as he had so many times before. He wondered why Gerard never exited like a normal person through the door, but as he heard the car speeding away, Frank remembered that Gerard wasn't a normal person at all.

~~~~~~~~

"Get in, loser."

It was Monday, seven a.m., and Frank decided it was far too early to be awake. Even though he loved seeing his best friend and being called a loser was Gerard's way of endearment, he was still royally pissed.

Anytime before the sun was actually above the horizon was very difficult for the young insomniac who was then getting into the older boy's car. It was a blue pickup truck that smelled badly of gasoline mixed with moldy seats, and the loud roar of the old engine bothered Frank greatly. Everything about the car that Gerard bought used was uncomfortable, from the jerky way it handled to the compact interior that forced the two close together.

Gerard managed to make conversation with Frank, as sleepy and irritated as he was. "You excited for school?"

Even though his they were closed, Frank rolled his eyes. It was the first day of freshman year, and his excitement, on a scale from one to ten, was in the negative thirty range. "Not at all. It's going to be shit." From every book and movie about high school, he had gathered that any sort of anxiety-ridden, idiotic outcast would have no luck in a public high school. That was, of course, unless he met the love of his life and won prom king and made the football team. Fat chance of that,he thought to himself.

"It's not too bad," Gerard reassured him. "My freshman year, I nearly pissed myself walking into homeroom. I was that nervous. But then I saw some kid with a comic book and I started talking to him about that. I wasn't the only dork." He smiled at the memory. "And there weren't bullies, either, so don't let middle school be the prerequisite for who all's gonna be there."

Frank opened his eyes and glared at Gerard. "Since when do you get nervous?"

Gerard took his eyes off the road to look back at his friend. "I don't normally. But the point of that story was to tell you that it's going to be okay."

Frank shrugged. "I guess." In truth, he was more nervous about the fact that he'd be alone as opposed to who would be there.

"If anyone's gonna struggle, dude, it's gonna be me," Gerard continued. "Junior year's a bitch, and everyone knows it."

"But you're smart," Frank said. "How many advanced placement classes are you taking again?" He already knew the answer, but having Gerard admit it would invalidate any argument against the fact that he was extremely intelligent. Again, he won at that.

"Four," Gerard said plainly. "I could be taking more."

He was being impossible. "Yeah, but that would suck."

He scoffed. "You suck."

Frank smirked, saying, "You swallow." That was common dialogue between the two, but Gerard was still amused by the cliched comeback.

"You wish!" Gerard said, holding back a laugh.

In truth, it wasn't like he hadn't been doing that exact thing behind Frank's eyelids when he was home alone. But Frank would never admit that, especially not to Gerard, whose response would be unpredictable. Sure, Gerard was utterly and openly against homophobia, but any feeling Frank had in his explicit fantasies was unlikely to be reciprocated.

They sat in silence before pulling into the parking lot. Gerard walked with Frank inside and showed him to his homeroom before parting the smaller boy with a smile and wish of good luck. Frank was just glad he didn't ruffle his hair like he sometimes did.

The classroom was dirty and cold, so Frank tucked into his sweatshirt. The teacher asked him his name, so he told her as softly as he possibly could. He was given a schedule and instructed to sit down.

He only recognized one person from his old school, a girl by the name of Juliana who could be considered "popular." She was a regular bitch in Frank's mind; not only did she possess the stereotypical fair skin, blonde hair, and giant breasts, but she had always been the one to spread gossip about anybody. He tried to smile at her, but she just gave him a funny look that suggested he wasn't worthy of interaction.

This is going to be a long day, Frank thought.

Notes

SO I've been writing this story for a while and am pretty confident in it. It's completed and revisions are almost done, so I'm really excited about publishing it.

Anyways, this is a high school Freard AU, if you didn't catch that from the description. It's set in Indianapolis, Indiana instead of Belleville because screw it. I've decided to get rid of first person point of view forever, and thank god I have. This story is a lot better than anything I have written in the past (all of which has been taken down due to its horrible quality except for The Paper Kingdom, for which I have a growing dislike). The chapters are shorter, which I honestly prefer. And since it's already completed, I'll do my best to remember to update every week. Sound good? Okay.

This first chapter is dedicated to @Gee'sCLUELESSGirl! because you were the first to comment on the story and offered to beta read, which was super sweet. Thank you :)

xoxo
gerweird