Good Nite Dr Death

In hindsight I had this coming.
The alarm had gone off three times and three times I had slammed a hand on it from under the duvet before finally admitting defeat. I would have to get up and face the hangover I knew was sitting just above my left eye. That was bad enough but I had already half listened to the rant on the answerphone from my mother demanding I get a life and then the following one from my father saying he was cutting me off. That one had warranted a one finger salute.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents were good people. Good, normal people who not unreasonably expected me to get a decent job, find a man to actually have a relationship with rather than just screw…you know, normal things. The problem being that just wasn’t me and never had been. So I had moved from school to college to America to Spain and then back to America. I made money from bar work where I could and lived off that and the parental allowance which had just disappeared.
I crawled from the bed and onto the floor before grabbing the chair nearby to haul myself to my feet and look in the mirror. It wasn’t pretty, at 23 I looked like I had been in a warzone. Running my fingers through the tangled mess of my fringe I noted the red and black dye had mixed and needed a top up, my eyes were a bloodshot brown so dark it was nearly black. I stared, pulling down my shirt until I had covered up my stomach and checking for bruises. My neck seemed to ache the worst but to my relief there wasn’t a mark.
“Well, you really fucked it up this time.”
My voice came out as a croak, clearly last night and the alcohol had done their worst but a smile worked its way crookedly onto my face as I remembered the company. It was hazy, no doubt my best buddy and flatmate Sally would be pissed that I had ditched her and I rubbed my forehead as I wondered out of my room and into the kitchen. The sun was too bright but coffee was the only thing I could think of as I thought back and tried to remember the man.
Oh. The man.
I had wandered into the club after eleven and the drinking and dancing had started, all of it loud and plentiful until I saw him. He was by the bar, whiskey in one hand and he was smiling one hell of a smile. Picture perfect pretty with black hair that flirted with his collar and a pale complexion that seemed almost deathly under the strobes. He was dressed simply, black shirt tucked into black jeans and a waistcoat. I knew I was staring and he knew it too, turning to order another whiskey before smiling at me again and pointing to it.
After that it got hazy, one drink following another and there had been dancing, his hand almost possessively around my waist as we swayed to the drum beat. He was there with friends, I had pointed in Sally’s direction….and that was it. I couldn’t remember his name or coming home and the sudden realisation that I probably wouldn’t see him again made me slump into the kitchen chair and stare into the warm steam that swirled from the black saviour in the mug.
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks babe, did you bring me home?”
Sally ruffled my hair in passing and helped herself to coffee before coming to sit opposite me with a resigned smile. We were chalk and cheese, best friends since school but whereas I was the wild one, Sally had the good career in publishing, the polished blonde looks and the charm that made people like her. For some reason we just clicked, I took her out and made her have the fun that her shyness sometimes cut her off from and in turn she basically made sure I didn’t kill myself and that I had the means to support myself. We argued like all friends do sometimes but we had been through it all together from men to travelling to family.
“No, a rather gorgeous man brought you home.”
I looked up, hope breaking through the headache as she pushed a slip of paper across the table. It had a phone number and a name in beautiful copperplate writing. Gerard. Nothing more but I stared at it and then up at Sally who was grinning like a Cheshire cat at the expression on my face.
“He was worth you dumping me over so come on, details?”
I chuckled, sipping the coffee and looking up apologetically.
“He’s a great dancer and I obviously made an idiot of myself.”
“You have his number so not that much of an idiot and you at least could stand when you got in. So have a shower and call the man.”
I nodded and regretted it as my head span. Sally insisted on making toast and making me eat it as I told her about getting cut off from my family and she mentioned a work trip away. We checked resources and I obediently set to looking at the paper for waitressing jobs and bar work. I transferred the last of my meagre savings into the household accounts and waved Sally off on her way to work before dragging myself to the shower. I could survive a month before funds became desperate so I let myself think about him. Gerard.
At least after a shower I looked decent and pulled on skinny jeans and a t-shirt before forcing a brush through my hair so that my fringe didn’t cover my face completely. The radio went on and I washed up before finally looking again at the piece of paper. For some reason I was nervous and it was a first. Normally I made guys nervous rather than the other way around but this man had been different and I had a memory of my hand in his, his fingers gently brushing my palm. I blushed and picked up my phone, dialling the number before I could talk myself out of it. It rang a few times and my nerve failed, my finger creeping toward the end call sign.
“Hello?”
The voice was warm and melodic, a smile immediately creeping onto my face and I answered a little breathlessly.
“Gerard? Hi, it’s Elise…..from the club. I think you brought me home.”
“I did and I’m really glad you called me.”
“You are?”
There was a giggle from the phone and I relaxed, something about his voice was so familiar and comforting. Whatever had happened the night before had clearly been good and I found that I really wanted to see him again.
“Are you coming to the club again tonight?”
I winced at the thought of more alcohol but I knew that I had to go, I had to see him again and this time sober. The clock already read eleven and I was mentally calculating how many hours I had to turn my raggedy ass into a princess as I answered him.
“I will if I can buy you a drink for getting me home safe.”
“It’s a deal and I’m already looking forward to it. Eight?”
“Sure, eight it is.”
I flushed, annoyed at myself for acting like a kid on a first date. His voice was like honey and I almost sighed as I said goodbye to him.
“Tonight then Gerard.”
“Tonight Elise.”
For such a brief conversation it had a hell of an effect and I hurriedly sent a text to Sally to tell her that I had a date with the mystery man before making another coffee and spending an hour tidying up in my room so that I could consider wardrobe choices. Last nights dress was an obvious no, the choices left were a little black dress and a red number with lace sleeves. It took another coffee and more toast to decide that sophisticated black would be better and I was looking for shoes when the phone rang again.
“We need to talk.”
“No Brian. We really don’t.”
There was a pause and again I wondered for the nineteenth time why Brian and I couldn’t just get out of each-others heads. We had dated on and off for over a year and part of me still wanted him despite the thought of the evening to come. At his best Brian was handsome, charming and intelligent. Everything a girl could want as well as being fantastic between the sheets. Trouble was we were too alike, independent and unwilling to bend an inch. So we fought and fucked, loved and split up. It was tiring.
“C’mon baby, you know I didn’t mean it.”
I sighed and selected the medium black heels, trying not to cave in.
“You never mean it. You just do it and then I forgive you until the next time.”
“Yeah but you do forgive me….”
The giggle got out before I could stop it and I slung the shoes next to the bed before swapping the phone to my other hand and walking to the window. The afternoon was grey and cold, December but not near enough to Christmas to be exciting.
“I do but we’re not going anywhere. You have the band and the temptations and I have…well not much but you know what I mean.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line so I knew he was fighting with himself like he always did and there was something he needed to tell me. Brian was predictable in some ways but at heart he was a good man and a good friend.
“That was why I called. Band is touring so I won’t be around for a month or so. I didn’t want us to part on bad terms.”
“Never. Go have fun but call me occasionally.”
The pause this time was longer and I wondered if he was going to ask me to wait for him again or whether this time it was really over. I had accepted it, Gerard was proof of that and yet something in me never really wanted to let Brian go.
“I will and stay safe ok?”
“Ok.”
He hung up and I slung the phone down. Yet again Brian had got under my skin and frustration battled with the remains of the hangover. Fuck it, hair of the dog would be required and then I was going out to get my ex out of my system and hopefully bring a new man into it. Turning up the radio I started to get ready for what may have turned out to be the last night of my life.

Notes