You Are A Beautiful Human ((Frerard))
Chapter 8
Frank POV
I can hear movement in my bedroom as I wake up, footsteps that sound a tiny bit like Gee’s but I can’t be sure. My heart sinks slightly as I remember this is the last full day we have together before they’re back at school and I’m back to being the loner I always have been.
“Gee?” I question nervously.
“Yeah, it me. Morning by the way” they reply, I can hear them smiling.
“You alright?” I ask.
“Yeah, good. Sorry I was just getting ready”
“What time is it?”
“9:34am”
We should probably go out in about an hour, I was hoping we could get the bus at 11ish but the stop it goes from is about 25minutes away. Probably much less for a sighted person, but I can’t really rush because it’s guaranteed I’ll end up flat on my face. I get ready, Gee putting in my lip ring for me like before. It feels so weird but oddly good having a moment that close, I can feel their minty fresh breath on my lips and in the moment I feel like doing something I know I’ll regret. I mean I really can’t see them wanting to do the same thing. Before I know it, I’m sat eating cheerios with almond milk in the kitchen, listening to Gee ramble at 200miles an hour about Brendon Urie’s latest Periscope, making me wonder if they’re actually managing to eat anything while they’re talking. I enjoy it though, their voice is very safe.
“When are you two going out?” I hear my mum ask.
“Uh I was thinking maybe half 10, get the bus at 11” I explain.
“Okay, you got just less than 10 minutes then” she tells me.
I spent that time mostly moving my spoon around my bowl and chatting to Gee.
“Where do you wanna go?” I ask.
“I don’t know, definitely starbucks I mean we can’t go out and not get starbucks, that’d be illegal” they laugh. I agree.
“Can we also go the record store, I like it in there” I suggest.
“Yessss!” they exclaim and I feel myself grin.
After a few minutes, we get up and start putting our shoes on. I hear my mum chatting to Gee, I can’t make out every word but I think she’s telling them how to make sure I don’t walk into a wall or get myself killed. I feel myself blush, embarrassed by the fact I can’t do these things myself but deep down I know it’s for the best and I don’t really have a choice.
“Come on Frankie!” I hear Gee call from the front door. I feel my blush intensify at the nickname and I hurry up, grabbing my coat. I hear them open the door and once I step out, I’m hit by a refreshingly cool breeze. I like this kind of whether, you can wear a hoodie or coat for comfort but it’s not at the point where you’re freezing your balls off. I hover for a moment, nervously reaching out my hand in what I think is their direction. Seconds later, I feel their warm arm intertwine with mine and hand grip mine tightly, interlocking our fingers. My heart flutters, this would be so perfect if it wasn’t so goddamn platonic. We walk ahead a few steps before I feel the smoother pavement of the street, replacing the bumpy concrete surrounding our house. We walk along this road for a few minutes, chatting about nothing. Gee does quite a good job of making sure I don’t bump into people or trip, even if their steering is a tiny bit jerky. After a bit, I hear the hum of the busy road getting closer and closer. I know where we are, I map it out in my head, I’ve walked this route quite a few times, just with my mum instead. Honestly, it feels good to be out and about with someone my own age, I mean I could pretty much do whatever the fuck I want. Well, within reason.
“This way” Gee hums, pulling me to the right. We’re on the main road and I can feel the cars speed by and the sound of a few people. It’s a late weekday morning, so I imagine it’s mostly elderly people and stay at home parents around, I can’t hear the usual noise from teenagers.
“We should probably cross in a minute” Gee tells me. The road goes quiet for a moment and suddenly they yank my arm almost pulling me off my feet “Run!”
I do as they say and I feel smoother tarmac beneath my feet and wind in my face as we sprint across the road. I’m pretty sure we cross two lanes and I begin to slow, I haven’t moved that fast in fucking ages.
“Quick!”
They pull me across a third, my heart pounding and I feel a gust of wind as a car whizzes only just over a foot behind me.
“Curb”
Inevitably, I trip but luckily Gee grabs and steadies me. I find myself shaking a tiny bit, panting and giggling uncontrollably but I think they’re doing the same. And that kids is 101 how not to guide a blind person across a road.
“You alright?” they check.
“Y-yeah, I just, are you trying to get us both killed!?” I laugh.
“No, but I mean the roads busy, we had to get across somehow!”
“There’s zebra crossing ten minutes that way” I gesture, pretty sure it was in the wrong direction.
“Oh… Yeah. But this way was more fun”
“That’s one word for it”
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t enjoy it”
I don’t reply. I’d be lying if I disagreed, I haven’t felt a thrill like that in years and honestly kinda wanna do it again. I’m pretty sure we would end up dead this time though.
“This way” they chirp, once we’ve got our breath back and I feel them take my hand again and steer me in the right direction.
I gravitate towards them, my arm pressed against theirs, relishing in the safety it brings. We take a few more turns, and after about 10 minutes we arrive at the bus stop.
“Sorry for like yanking you across the road earlier” they giggle.
“It’s alright”
“You know I mentioned uh bipolar?”
I nod.
“And that I take mood stabilizers for it?”
I nod again, hoping they don’t say what I think they’re about to say.
“How would you feel if I told you I haven’t taken them this whole time I’ve been here?”
Damn, they said exactly what I predicted.
“I’d tell you to go home and fucking take them Gee, it’s nothing to feel bad about but I’m sure you know yourself you need them” I reply, coming across angrier than I intended.
“I can’t go home, my dad will kill me. I probably should take them, but honestly, I’ll be fine, what I have is relatively mild and quite predictable”
I think for a moment. They’re probably right, their dad did sound pretty annoyed on the phone.
“So what’s happening then, like what happens if you don’t take your meds for a bit?” I ask.
“Well, basically, I should probably explain. What I have is bipolar two, so not as bad as bipolar one. It’s rapid cycling which means my cycles last days or weeks not months or years like classic bipolar. It’s quite simple really, bipolar, ya know, two poles, high and low. Because mine is bipolar two, I don’t get full blown mania, just hypomania but I do get the full blown major depression. So sometimes, I’ll have a period of depression and I used to get really bad with it, harming myself and stuff. Then maybe I’d go a while pretty average then I’d get hyper for a bit then maybe crash and get depressed again and just keep cycling like that really. With the meds though it takes off the edge so now it’s just like I feel pretty good for a bit then I feel pretty shit for a bit. I still get all emotional, and am generally a weirdo but that’s the aspergers”
I listen carefully.
“Okay, what are you like without the meds?”
“Uh I’ve been average for maybe 2 monthish, but right now I’m feeling ever so slightly euphoric. I was feeling pretty good the whole time I’ve been at yours, okay there was the sketchbook incident but it was only up from there. I think that’s when I started feeling a bit good ya know, then last night I was feeling really good, excited and now yes it could be said I am hyper” they laugh as they finish the sentence. I notice how fast they were talking “I’ve only really missed like 2 doses but I woke up really early like 6am and just like showered and drew and listened to music through headphones, I don’t know how long this will last, probably only a day or two, say if it started Monday and is peaking now. Basically, imma probably be pretty reckless, pretty giggly, pretty talkative, pretty impulsive, pretty confident and pretty energetic but really you don’t have anything to worry about”
“Okay. Promise me, if you feel like doing something stupid or I don’t know, it gets too much you’ll tell me and we can get your meds from the chemist or we’ll find something”
They hum in response.
“Sorry for the road crossing thing again”
“S’alright dude”
I can hear movement in my bedroom as I wake up, footsteps that sound a tiny bit like Gee’s but I can’t be sure. My heart sinks slightly as I remember this is the last full day we have together before they’re back at school and I’m back to being the loner I always have been.
“Gee?” I question nervously.
“Yeah, it me. Morning by the way” they reply, I can hear them smiling.
“You alright?” I ask.
“Yeah, good. Sorry I was just getting ready”
“What time is it?”
“9:34am”
We should probably go out in about an hour, I was hoping we could get the bus at 11ish but the stop it goes from is about 25minutes away. Probably much less for a sighted person, but I can’t really rush because it’s guaranteed I’ll end up flat on my face. I get ready, Gee putting in my lip ring for me like before. It feels so weird but oddly good having a moment that close, I can feel their minty fresh breath on my lips and in the moment I feel like doing something I know I’ll regret. I mean I really can’t see them wanting to do the same thing. Before I know it, I’m sat eating cheerios with almond milk in the kitchen, listening to Gee ramble at 200miles an hour about Brendon Urie’s latest Periscope, making me wonder if they’re actually managing to eat anything while they’re talking. I enjoy it though, their voice is very safe.
“When are you two going out?” I hear my mum ask.
“Uh I was thinking maybe half 10, get the bus at 11” I explain.
“Okay, you got just less than 10 minutes then” she tells me.
I spent that time mostly moving my spoon around my bowl and chatting to Gee.
“Where do you wanna go?” I ask.
“I don’t know, definitely starbucks I mean we can’t go out and not get starbucks, that’d be illegal” they laugh. I agree.
“Can we also go the record store, I like it in there” I suggest.
“Yessss!” they exclaim and I feel myself grin.
After a few minutes, we get up and start putting our shoes on. I hear my mum chatting to Gee, I can’t make out every word but I think she’s telling them how to make sure I don’t walk into a wall or get myself killed. I feel myself blush, embarrassed by the fact I can’t do these things myself but deep down I know it’s for the best and I don’t really have a choice.
“Come on Frankie!” I hear Gee call from the front door. I feel my blush intensify at the nickname and I hurry up, grabbing my coat. I hear them open the door and once I step out, I’m hit by a refreshingly cool breeze. I like this kind of whether, you can wear a hoodie or coat for comfort but it’s not at the point where you’re freezing your balls off. I hover for a moment, nervously reaching out my hand in what I think is their direction. Seconds later, I feel their warm arm intertwine with mine and hand grip mine tightly, interlocking our fingers. My heart flutters, this would be so perfect if it wasn’t so goddamn platonic. We walk ahead a few steps before I feel the smoother pavement of the street, replacing the bumpy concrete surrounding our house. We walk along this road for a few minutes, chatting about nothing. Gee does quite a good job of making sure I don’t bump into people or trip, even if their steering is a tiny bit jerky. After a bit, I hear the hum of the busy road getting closer and closer. I know where we are, I map it out in my head, I’ve walked this route quite a few times, just with my mum instead. Honestly, it feels good to be out and about with someone my own age, I mean I could pretty much do whatever the fuck I want. Well, within reason.
“This way” Gee hums, pulling me to the right. We’re on the main road and I can feel the cars speed by and the sound of a few people. It’s a late weekday morning, so I imagine it’s mostly elderly people and stay at home parents around, I can’t hear the usual noise from teenagers.
“We should probably cross in a minute” Gee tells me. The road goes quiet for a moment and suddenly they yank my arm almost pulling me off my feet “Run!”
I do as they say and I feel smoother tarmac beneath my feet and wind in my face as we sprint across the road. I’m pretty sure we cross two lanes and I begin to slow, I haven’t moved that fast in fucking ages.
“Quick!”
They pull me across a third, my heart pounding and I feel a gust of wind as a car whizzes only just over a foot behind me.
“Curb”
Inevitably, I trip but luckily Gee grabs and steadies me. I find myself shaking a tiny bit, panting and giggling uncontrollably but I think they’re doing the same. And that kids is 101 how not to guide a blind person across a road.
“You alright?” they check.
“Y-yeah, I just, are you trying to get us both killed!?” I laugh.
“No, but I mean the roads busy, we had to get across somehow!”
“There’s zebra crossing ten minutes that way” I gesture, pretty sure it was in the wrong direction.
“Oh… Yeah. But this way was more fun”
“That’s one word for it”
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t enjoy it”
I don’t reply. I’d be lying if I disagreed, I haven’t felt a thrill like that in years and honestly kinda wanna do it again. I’m pretty sure we would end up dead this time though.
“This way” they chirp, once we’ve got our breath back and I feel them take my hand again and steer me in the right direction.
I gravitate towards them, my arm pressed against theirs, relishing in the safety it brings. We take a few more turns, and after about 10 minutes we arrive at the bus stop.
“Sorry for like yanking you across the road earlier” they giggle.
“It’s alright”
“You know I mentioned uh bipolar?”
I nod.
“And that I take mood stabilizers for it?”
I nod again, hoping they don’t say what I think they’re about to say.
“How would you feel if I told you I haven’t taken them this whole time I’ve been here?”
Damn, they said exactly what I predicted.
“I’d tell you to go home and fucking take them Gee, it’s nothing to feel bad about but I’m sure you know yourself you need them” I reply, coming across angrier than I intended.
“I can’t go home, my dad will kill me. I probably should take them, but honestly, I’ll be fine, what I have is relatively mild and quite predictable”
I think for a moment. They’re probably right, their dad did sound pretty annoyed on the phone.
“So what’s happening then, like what happens if you don’t take your meds for a bit?” I ask.
“Well, basically, I should probably explain. What I have is bipolar two, so not as bad as bipolar one. It’s rapid cycling which means my cycles last days or weeks not months or years like classic bipolar. It’s quite simple really, bipolar, ya know, two poles, high and low. Because mine is bipolar two, I don’t get full blown mania, just hypomania but I do get the full blown major depression. So sometimes, I’ll have a period of depression and I used to get really bad with it, harming myself and stuff. Then maybe I’d go a while pretty average then I’d get hyper for a bit then maybe crash and get depressed again and just keep cycling like that really. With the meds though it takes off the edge so now it’s just like I feel pretty good for a bit then I feel pretty shit for a bit. I still get all emotional, and am generally a weirdo but that’s the aspergers”
I listen carefully.
“Okay, what are you like without the meds?”
“Uh I’ve been average for maybe 2 monthish, but right now I’m feeling ever so slightly euphoric. I was feeling pretty good the whole time I’ve been at yours, okay there was the sketchbook incident but it was only up from there. I think that’s when I started feeling a bit good ya know, then last night I was feeling really good, excited and now yes it could be said I am hyper” they laugh as they finish the sentence. I notice how fast they were talking “I’ve only really missed like 2 doses but I woke up really early like 6am and just like showered and drew and listened to music through headphones, I don’t know how long this will last, probably only a day or two, say if it started Monday and is peaking now. Basically, imma probably be pretty reckless, pretty giggly, pretty talkative, pretty impulsive, pretty confident and pretty energetic but really you don’t have anything to worry about”
“Okay. Promise me, if you feel like doing something stupid or I don’t know, it gets too much you’ll tell me and we can get your meds from the chemist or we’ll find something”
They hum in response.
“Sorry for the road crossing thing again”
“S’alright dude”
Notes
idk if i'm entirely happy w this chapter i feel like it doesn't flow w the story but idk look forward to some slight gee-a-bit-hyper-and-lacking-some-inhibitions frerard
How is everyone?
ITS SO FUCKING HOT I THINK IM ABOUT TO FALL OUT A WINDOW
Megan x
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@Gee'sCLUELESSgirl!
tysm for being so understanding omg <3
10/29/15