Gee POV

The day goes by quickly, Frank has his lessons and I sit on tumblr. I feel a little guilty but it’s worth it. We’re still pretty tired from the broken night but we listen to music and chat all evening. I really really fancy him. We’re practically joined by the hip and any time he’s in the toilet or lessons I feel all lost and unsure of what to do with myself. I’ve never felt this way towards another person before and it’s verging on unsettling. It’s unhealthy to be this reliant on someone who is just doing you favours because they are obliged to. I mean there’s no chance he likes me back. I think back to our moment in the morning, I felt terrible puking up is always horrible and puking up while blind must be the definition of hell. I feel a pang of sadness, he was in a bit of a sorry state, I don’t want to see anyone I love like that. I haven’t felt like this since Mikey was getting ill. I’m reminded of the fact I told Frank I had heard voices and feel my chest tighten. Even though he didn’t say it, he must have been thinking I’m crazy. He didn’t react to badly and we ended up falling asleep curled up together so he can’t have been too freaked out. I remember the moment the first golden rays of sunlight pierced the room as I lay with the guy I love next to me. If it wasn’t so painfully platonic it would have been romantic. Either way, I don’t think I’ll forget it quickly.
Frank and I are just settling down for bed when Debbie sticks her head round the door.
“Frank has no lessons tomorrow so I don’t know if you two want to go out together just you two, I’m gonna be staying home all day cleaning this place” she suggests. I gulp. Like a date!? No not like a date Gee.
“Awesome!!” Frank exclaims excitedly.
“Okay, night then boys- uh kids” she beams closing the bedroom door. I shoot her a smile, appreciating the effort she had made to respect my gender.
“So where do you wanna go tomorrow?” Franks asks. I shrug before realising its futile.
“I don’t know, up to you” I mumble.
“I know literally nowhere though, all I know is the mall my mum drags me round from time to time, that’s the only time I really leave the house”
“We could go there, but go to the coffee shop and record store and all the cool places ya know” I suggest. He hums in response.
I lay down on my campbed and find myself fantasizing about the next day. I plan out all the places I would take him, knowing full well it probably wouldn’t happen like that. We’d take the bus in the late morning and get off at the very same stop we met at. Then we’d spend an hour in starbucks. We could sip coffee and chat, I’d watch him giggle in all the right moments and smile that smile he smiles if I call him ‘Frankie’. Then we could go over the record store, I’d buy him all his favourite records, it wouldn’t matter I have about 50p to my name. Then we’d head over to this arcade. I haven’t been in there for years but I’d imagine all the beeps and music would be very stimulating for him. We wouldn’t properly gamble but I’d hug him from behind as he plays the 2p falls. We’d lose all our loose change in there, you always do but it would be the best time of my life because it’d be with him. After that we’d go get something to eat. There’s a weird hippie vegan stall if I remember rightly. We’d get some vegetable noodles, sharing them between us. It wouldn’t matter they’d probably taste gross to me. Once we were getting the bus bag it’d be getting dark. It’s November now and by maybe just 4pm the light starts to go. We’d huddle close to eachother as we wait for the bus home, warming eachother up.
At some point my fantasies dissolve and are replaced with a long deep sleep.

Notes

short crappy rambly filler yo
sorry i've been neglecting this fic but i should get something with some substance up soon

Megan x (too tired to add my links)