You Are A Beautiful Human ((Frerard))
Chapter 6
TW// vomiting, mention of auditory hallucinations
Frank POV
I wake up with no idea what time it is. I can hear Gee adorably snuffling as they sleep and I become aware of a familiar twisting in my stomach. I can feel beads of sweat form on my forehead and an unpleasant sensation bubbling up inside me, threatening to erupt. I’m gonna puke and if I do right there with Gee next to me, it’ll be the single most embarrassing moment of my life. In a panic I leap out of bed and stagger quickly in the direction of the bathroom. I hear a bang as I knock something over but keep going. Ow fuck there’s a doorframe. I stumble forward, tripping on something. Where am I now? I lose all sense of direction and the floor seems to be spinning. And right there, a matter of seconds later my stomach contorts, my throat burns and a tidal wave of warm, lumpy liquid leaves my mouth. I groan, manage a breath or two and become aware of a soft hand rubbing my back and tucking my hair behind my ears before my stomach decides it’s time for round two. Tears escape my squeezed shut eyes as I dry heave before the hand guides me to a solid surface, the wall. Thankfully, I slide down it and sit on the floor. I think I’m on the landing, it’s carpeted and both my room and bathroom have laminate flooring. I feel humiliated and self-conscious and hide my face in my hands, the stench of puke reaching me.
“Okay?” A voice murmurs. Gee’s. Oh god. Kill me.
“I am so sorry” I mumble.
“What why?”
“You just watched me puke”
“Yeah well you can’t help that”
“I think I’m about to die of embarrassment”
“Yeah well so did I when I stumbled in here having some kinda meltdown”
That wasn’t their fault! Okay I see their point. I nod knowing they’re right but still completely humiliated.
“Did I make a mess?” I ask after a few moments.
“Not really to be honest, there’s a single patch on the floor but that’s it, you didn’t get any on yourself or anything” they explain.
“Good” I state “What’s the time?”
“Not sure, it looks like it’s about to get light” They inform me “Oh and do you want a glass of water?”
I nod, my eyes still shut, I feel disorientated with them open and no sunglasses. Like I don’t know where to look and even then I don’t know if I’m actually looking that direction. I can hear Gee stand up and their footsteps scuttle downstairs before they trip on something.
“It’s like pitch black down here, I can’t see a thi-” they laugh before stopping abruptly.
“It’s okay” I giggle “You and me both”
I hear a faint chuckle and movement downstairs and moments later, their footsteps rush back up the stairs and crouch next to me.
“You okay?” they check, pushing a cold glass into my hand. I nod and take a sip.
“Thank you so much honestly” I reply trying to muster a smile as I look away.
“One sec” they whisper and I hear their footsteps scuttle away. I wonder what they’re doing but within seconds I’m aware of them by my side again. I feel their hand cup my cheek and I turn to face them still keeping my eyes shut. I seems like they’re about to kiss me for a split second but then I feel my familiar sunglasses gently being placed on the bridge of my nose. For a moment I’m overcome with appreciation of this kid, that was such a simple thing but it’s one of the nicest things anyone’s done for me in a while.
“W-wow, thank you” I breathe.
“It’s alright” they murmur.
“How did you know I- that’s what I-” I trail off.
“When Mikey stopped being able to focus he got really self conscious and I don’t know, you were acting the same like looking away and keeping your eyes shut” He explains with a slight bleak tone at the mention of his brother “So how are you feeling? Are you ill?”
“Okay, nah I doubt it, sometimes I just puke up for no reason because my stomach hates me, I feel much better now though”
“Okay good, do you wanna go back in your room? It’s freezing out here”
I nod suddenly noticing the chill in the air. My heart flutters as I feel them take my hand in theirs and pull me up. I don’t know why, I mean, it’s not like it’d be anything romantic, it’s literally just a friendly gesture. Either way, we stay hand in hand as we walk into the other room and I savour the moment and their warm reassuring grip. I feel the bed next to me and sit down on the soft surface, Gee next to me and we reluctantly let go. Well I reluctantly let go. They probably were just helping out and are now creeped out.
“So what are we gonna do about the pile of vomit on the landing?” I ask eventually.
“No idea, would it be mean to leave your mum to deal with it?”
“Probably yes, but I’ll text her” I laugh. Gee passes my phone and I begin composing a message. I can sense him watching me.
“I have this app that talks and vibrates so I can use it” I explain.
“That’s cool. Mikey was gonna get a phone that had that”
I feel my heart ache slightly at the mention of their brother, they must miss him a lot. Still I’m not sure what about a short freak in jogging bottoms blindly vomiting is making them so reminiscent.
“He had a bit of chemo, it made him puke someti- well kinda ofte-” they trail off almost reading my thoughts.
“Cancers a dickhead” I state “I’m just lucky in that it’s never got anyone close to me”
I hear them sigh in recognition of what I’ve said. It must be so shit for them. Their mum committed suicide and their brother died of cancer. Wow. I take a risk and give them a hug, conscious of the fact I could end up accidentally punching them but not really caring. And I hate hugs. It’s a tight squeeze but over quickly.
“What was that for?” They ask.
“I just think you deserve a hug” I say.
“Thanks” They reply. I feel skinny arms wrap round my neck and gently pull me close for a few seconds “I think you deserve one too”
“You are such a nice motherfucker” I comment, doubting myself immediately after.
“So are you, Mikey would love you, in fact I’m pretty sure he does”
I frown, unsure of what to reply.
“For a bit, I kinda lost it and I started hearing voices and one of them was his and I’ve still not worked out whether I was just went a bit crazy or if he was actually talking to me. I’d rather believe the latter”
Wow. I still can’t manage a reply, I mean what do you reply to that?
“Sorry I’ve freaked you out, I’ll be quiet now” they mumble.
“No no no, you’ve not keep talking if you want, I like it”
“Well yeah basically, if that really was him then and he was around then, there’s the potential for him to still be around now”
“I guess”
“Okay say it was just a chemical imbalance, I mean I’m not gonna deny the fact I have one but how could a simple chemical perfectly construct the exact sound of a voice I hadn’t heard in months and could barely remember? How could it get all the tones and little mannerisms and recreate how he enunciated every word so clearly? I mean at the time my head was full of noise and negativity and I could hear all sorts, muffled snippets of things, angry yelling, gruff commands but his voice always pushed through, calm and clear if slightly awkward just like always”
“I don’t know, brains are weird things, I suppose it’s one of those things we’ll never know” I reply. They hum in response. We sit on my bed together in silence for a moment. It’s almost perfect.
“The suns starting to come up Frankie” They comment after a while.
“Perfect”
***
“Oh my god frank are you okay!?” I hear my mum yell out. I realize both Gee and I had been dozing off on my bed a little.
“Yeah I’m fine now” I grumble. I feel guilty for coming across moody especially as my mum cares for me so much but she just ruined one of the best moments of my life so far.
“Oooh look at you two” She coos from the doorway. I’m aware of Gee moving beside me and I hope this doesn’t look like something it wasn’t. Though that doesn’t mean I don’t wish it was “Are you sure you’re okay frank? I only just saw your text, I was asleep”
“Yeah honestly I’m fine”
“I should probably be getting you both up right now it’s like half 7 ya know you need routine but you don’t have any classes until the afternoon so how would you feel if I left you to sleep?”
“Thank you so much” I smile.
“It’s alright” she replies and I hear my door click shut. Within moments I’m dreaming again.
***
I wake up and sigh remembering the events of the night/morning. To my dismay the bed is empty but I can hear breathing so I assume Gee must of got back into their own bed. I think they are asleep still but they’re moving about a lot so it’s probably light. I let myself get lost in a daydream for a few minutes.
“You okay?” They say groggily snapping me back to reality.
“Yeah good, what’s the time?” I question, rolling over to face their direction. I fell asleep with my glasses on, so I don’t have to worry about the eyes thing. Problem is I do have to worry about the fact I probably have a horrible fucking bruise appearing behind one ear from the frame being crushed against my head.
“Just gone 12. I fell asleep about half 2am and woke up at around 6ish that’s 3 and half hours sleep, then the little lie in, I got 8 and a half hours in total wow” they answer.
“We should probably get up, I gotta be doing maths in an hour”
I take a shower to freshen up, my hair’s in dire need of a wash, and put on some ripped jeans and a jumper. Gee draws, I think, when I return to my room I can hear the scratching of a pencil on paper but he finishes up quickly and darts into the bathroom themself. Now would be the perfect opportunity to be a nosy fucker and look at what they’re drawing except I can’t look. It’s torture.
A little while later, I hear Gee enter the room again and we head downstairs. I can smell pancakes and hear Gee make an excited squeal.
“Pancakes!” my mum announces. We both thank her profusely and take a seat. They’re fucking delicious, I cover mine in lemon and sugar. I hadn’t realized but I’m absolutely ravenous. I think Gee is too because we don’t talk, just eat the lot then ask for seconds. I’m really enjoying having Gee here but they’re going to school and then home on Friday so that’s really only one full day left. I mean obviously we will talk online 24/7 and they’ll be hanging round here all the time but I wish they really did live here, that these few days where nothing really matters would last forever. It’s so weird how we’ve not even known eachother a week and I’ve fallen in love.
Frank POV
I wake up with no idea what time it is. I can hear Gee adorably snuffling as they sleep and I become aware of a familiar twisting in my stomach. I can feel beads of sweat form on my forehead and an unpleasant sensation bubbling up inside me, threatening to erupt. I’m gonna puke and if I do right there with Gee next to me, it’ll be the single most embarrassing moment of my life. In a panic I leap out of bed and stagger quickly in the direction of the bathroom. I hear a bang as I knock something over but keep going. Ow fuck there’s a doorframe. I stumble forward, tripping on something. Where am I now? I lose all sense of direction and the floor seems to be spinning. And right there, a matter of seconds later my stomach contorts, my throat burns and a tidal wave of warm, lumpy liquid leaves my mouth. I groan, manage a breath or two and become aware of a soft hand rubbing my back and tucking my hair behind my ears before my stomach decides it’s time for round two. Tears escape my squeezed shut eyes as I dry heave before the hand guides me to a solid surface, the wall. Thankfully, I slide down it and sit on the floor. I think I’m on the landing, it’s carpeted and both my room and bathroom have laminate flooring. I feel humiliated and self-conscious and hide my face in my hands, the stench of puke reaching me.
“Okay?” A voice murmurs. Gee’s. Oh god. Kill me.
“I am so sorry” I mumble.
“What why?”
“You just watched me puke”
“Yeah well you can’t help that”
“I think I’m about to die of embarrassment”
“Yeah well so did I when I stumbled in here having some kinda meltdown”
That wasn’t their fault! Okay I see their point. I nod knowing they’re right but still completely humiliated.
“Did I make a mess?” I ask after a few moments.
“Not really to be honest, there’s a single patch on the floor but that’s it, you didn’t get any on yourself or anything” they explain.
“Good” I state “What’s the time?”
“Not sure, it looks like it’s about to get light” They inform me “Oh and do you want a glass of water?”
I nod, my eyes still shut, I feel disorientated with them open and no sunglasses. Like I don’t know where to look and even then I don’t know if I’m actually looking that direction. I can hear Gee stand up and their footsteps scuttle downstairs before they trip on something.
“It’s like pitch black down here, I can’t see a thi-” they laugh before stopping abruptly.
“It’s okay” I giggle “You and me both”
I hear a faint chuckle and movement downstairs and moments later, their footsteps rush back up the stairs and crouch next to me.
“You okay?” they check, pushing a cold glass into my hand. I nod and take a sip.
“Thank you so much honestly” I reply trying to muster a smile as I look away.
“One sec” they whisper and I hear their footsteps scuttle away. I wonder what they’re doing but within seconds I’m aware of them by my side again. I feel their hand cup my cheek and I turn to face them still keeping my eyes shut. I seems like they’re about to kiss me for a split second but then I feel my familiar sunglasses gently being placed on the bridge of my nose. For a moment I’m overcome with appreciation of this kid, that was such a simple thing but it’s one of the nicest things anyone’s done for me in a while.
“W-wow, thank you” I breathe.
“It’s alright” they murmur.
“How did you know I- that’s what I-” I trail off.
“When Mikey stopped being able to focus he got really self conscious and I don’t know, you were acting the same like looking away and keeping your eyes shut” He explains with a slight bleak tone at the mention of his brother “So how are you feeling? Are you ill?”
“Okay, nah I doubt it, sometimes I just puke up for no reason because my stomach hates me, I feel much better now though”
“Okay good, do you wanna go back in your room? It’s freezing out here”
I nod suddenly noticing the chill in the air. My heart flutters as I feel them take my hand in theirs and pull me up. I don’t know why, I mean, it’s not like it’d be anything romantic, it’s literally just a friendly gesture. Either way, we stay hand in hand as we walk into the other room and I savour the moment and their warm reassuring grip. I feel the bed next to me and sit down on the soft surface, Gee next to me and we reluctantly let go. Well I reluctantly let go. They probably were just helping out and are now creeped out.
“So what are we gonna do about the pile of vomit on the landing?” I ask eventually.
“No idea, would it be mean to leave your mum to deal with it?”
“Probably yes, but I’ll text her” I laugh. Gee passes my phone and I begin composing a message. I can sense him watching me.
“I have this app that talks and vibrates so I can use it” I explain.
“That’s cool. Mikey was gonna get a phone that had that”
I feel my heart ache slightly at the mention of their brother, they must miss him a lot. Still I’m not sure what about a short freak in jogging bottoms blindly vomiting is making them so reminiscent.
“He had a bit of chemo, it made him puke someti- well kinda ofte-” they trail off almost reading my thoughts.
“Cancers a dickhead” I state “I’m just lucky in that it’s never got anyone close to me”
I hear them sigh in recognition of what I’ve said. It must be so shit for them. Their mum committed suicide and their brother died of cancer. Wow. I take a risk and give them a hug, conscious of the fact I could end up accidentally punching them but not really caring. And I hate hugs. It’s a tight squeeze but over quickly.
“What was that for?” They ask.
“I just think you deserve a hug” I say.
“Thanks” They reply. I feel skinny arms wrap round my neck and gently pull me close for a few seconds “I think you deserve one too”
“You are such a nice motherfucker” I comment, doubting myself immediately after.
“So are you, Mikey would love you, in fact I’m pretty sure he does”
I frown, unsure of what to reply.
“For a bit, I kinda lost it and I started hearing voices and one of them was his and I’ve still not worked out whether I was just went a bit crazy or if he was actually talking to me. I’d rather believe the latter”
Wow. I still can’t manage a reply, I mean what do you reply to that?
“Sorry I’ve freaked you out, I’ll be quiet now” they mumble.
“No no no, you’ve not keep talking if you want, I like it”
“Well yeah basically, if that really was him then and he was around then, there’s the potential for him to still be around now”
“I guess”
“Okay say it was just a chemical imbalance, I mean I’m not gonna deny the fact I have one but how could a simple chemical perfectly construct the exact sound of a voice I hadn’t heard in months and could barely remember? How could it get all the tones and little mannerisms and recreate how he enunciated every word so clearly? I mean at the time my head was full of noise and negativity and I could hear all sorts, muffled snippets of things, angry yelling, gruff commands but his voice always pushed through, calm and clear if slightly awkward just like always”
“I don’t know, brains are weird things, I suppose it’s one of those things we’ll never know” I reply. They hum in response. We sit on my bed together in silence for a moment. It’s almost perfect.
“The suns starting to come up Frankie” They comment after a while.
“Perfect”
***
“Oh my god frank are you okay!?” I hear my mum yell out. I realize both Gee and I had been dozing off on my bed a little.
“Yeah I’m fine now” I grumble. I feel guilty for coming across moody especially as my mum cares for me so much but she just ruined one of the best moments of my life so far.
“Oooh look at you two” She coos from the doorway. I’m aware of Gee moving beside me and I hope this doesn’t look like something it wasn’t. Though that doesn’t mean I don’t wish it was “Are you sure you’re okay frank? I only just saw your text, I was asleep”
“Yeah honestly I’m fine”
“I should probably be getting you both up right now it’s like half 7 ya know you need routine but you don’t have any classes until the afternoon so how would you feel if I left you to sleep?”
“Thank you so much” I smile.
“It’s alright” she replies and I hear my door click shut. Within moments I’m dreaming again.
***
I wake up and sigh remembering the events of the night/morning. To my dismay the bed is empty but I can hear breathing so I assume Gee must of got back into their own bed. I think they are asleep still but they’re moving about a lot so it’s probably light. I let myself get lost in a daydream for a few minutes.
“You okay?” They say groggily snapping me back to reality.
“Yeah good, what’s the time?” I question, rolling over to face their direction. I fell asleep with my glasses on, so I don’t have to worry about the eyes thing. Problem is I do have to worry about the fact I probably have a horrible fucking bruise appearing behind one ear from the frame being crushed against my head.
“Just gone 12. I fell asleep about half 2am and woke up at around 6ish that’s 3 and half hours sleep, then the little lie in, I got 8 and a half hours in total wow” they answer.
“We should probably get up, I gotta be doing maths in an hour”
I take a shower to freshen up, my hair’s in dire need of a wash, and put on some ripped jeans and a jumper. Gee draws, I think, when I return to my room I can hear the scratching of a pencil on paper but he finishes up quickly and darts into the bathroom themself. Now would be the perfect opportunity to be a nosy fucker and look at what they’re drawing except I can’t look. It’s torture.
A little while later, I hear Gee enter the room again and we head downstairs. I can smell pancakes and hear Gee make an excited squeal.
“Pancakes!” my mum announces. We both thank her profusely and take a seat. They’re fucking delicious, I cover mine in lemon and sugar. I hadn’t realized but I’m absolutely ravenous. I think Gee is too because we don’t talk, just eat the lot then ask for seconds. I’m really enjoying having Gee here but they’re going to school and then home on Friday so that’s really only one full day left. I mean obviously we will talk online 24/7 and they’ll be hanging round here all the time but I wish they really did live here, that these few days where nothing really matters would last forever. It’s so weird how we’ve not even known eachother a week and I’ve fallen in love.
Notes
I've not proofread this soz.
I have found out how u overcome writers block. You write in the early hours of the morning.
ALSO GUESS WHICH MOTHERFUCKER JUST BOUGHT TWENTY ONE PILOTS TICKETS
but in two weeks im gonna be homeless
BUT IM SEEING PALOMA FAITH TODAY WELL AFTER I SLEEP (ITS 6:15AM)
anyway to conclude im all over the place n i probably well update pretty sporadically (i mean my updates were totally regular before right?)
also idk if im gonna bother w gee's tumblr i mean im lazy af like franks was a fun thing to do but im bad w commitment n frankly i dont rlly feel like it anymore
tysm for reading <3
plz comment n shit
Megan x
@snailthesaints (twitter)
@snailthesaints (instagram)
frnktasy.tumblr.com
@Gee'sCLUELESSgirl!
tysm for being so understanding omg <3
10/29/15