The Only Way

I woke up to a smiling Gee caressing my hair.

"Hey sweetheart, today's the day you come live with me." he said looking at me like he was afraid I would change my mind.

"You need to pack your things up and we need to go before Mike wakes up." he said, trying to wake me up with kisses all over my face.

"Oh no, Gerard. I'm not leaving here like a thief. Mike was generous enough to offer me shelter when I had nowhere to go. I'm not leaving without saying goodbye." I said all serious.

"Okay, but I warn you. He's gonna make a scene and don't count on me to make things less awkward." he said.

I got up and started to pack my things which took me less than 10 minutes. Everything was still in boxes in the closet.

We got out of the room and were greeted by Mike who looked still half asleep.

"There's coffee in the kitchen and please tell me what happened yesterday." he said, looking at Gerard.

"I'll let Frank explain." he said smiling like a motherfucking prick.

"Well...got into a fight with April, got lost in the wood and they found me and then Gerard asked me to go live with him and I said yes." I said without blinking. The faster we would have this conversation, the better I would feel.

"Can you repeat the last part, I must have hallucinated it.." he said half pissed off and surprised.

"I'm moving in with Gerard." I answered calmly.

"Well no, you're not." he answered back.

"Hey, he doesn't belong to you Mike, come on, don't be a dick about this." Gerard said, trying to convince his brother.

“He might not be mine but he is my responsibility. Every time you couldn't be there for him, I was there. I picked him up when you let him down. And now you're just taking him away from me?" Mikey said. I had never seen him being that emotional.

"Told you he would make a scene." Gerard said under his breath but loud enough that Mikey could hear him.

"Fuck you, Gee. I don't understand why you want him to go live with you suddenly when 2 days ago you were still..." Mikey said but Gerard interrupted him.

"Don't you fucking dare. What goes on between me and Frank is none of your business. I made up my mind now and I'm gonna take care of him even better than you did." Gerard said with anger in his voice.

"See, I highly doubt that." Mikey answered back.

"Hey, come on you guys, I just want everyone to be okay with this. Gerard I love you and I wanna go live with you. I trust you with my heart. Mikey, you did for me what no one else ever did and I will be forever grateful. I love you both, alright, just stop fighting." I answered hoping my words would make everyone understand how I felt caught up in the middle of this.

"Okay. If this is what you want then I'm okay with it. Just remember you're always welcome here." Mikey said hugging me so tight that I thought he was gonna break me in half.

"I'll let you guys say goodbye, I'll be in the car." Gerard said, not wanting to ruin the moment.
We heard the front door closing and Mike let go of me.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked me, looking concerned.

"Yeah, I am. I love him, Mike. I know he loves me too. We can make this work and if it doesn't I will come back here."

"Stay in touch and remember I am still your psychiatrist. We still have to meet once a week." he said, like if he was afraid I would stop my treatment now that I was moving in with his brother.

"I know Mike, I know." I told him, smiling.

"You better take care of yourself, you stupid shit." he told me, hugging me tightly again.

"I will. I promise." I answered, struggling to catch my breath once again.

He let go of me and followed me to the front door, helping me carry the rest of the boxes that Gerard had forgot.

"See, you still need me in your life." Mikey said, as a last attempt to make me change my mind.

"I need both of you." I said, smiling at him again as he helped me pack the boxes in the trunk.

"Alright bro, get the fuck out of here before I start crying and things get really awkward." he said, punching me lightly on the shoulder.

"Oh cause they weren't already?" I asked teasing him.

"Smart ass." he answered laughing.

We said goodbye one more time and I got into the car. Mikey was still standing next to the car pointing at Gerard as if to say ''I'm watching you.''

Gerard started the car and we drove away. I hated goodbyes, I had never been good at them. It always left me overthinking things, making me doubt that I was making the right choice.

"Told you he would freak out." Gerard said, taking my hand.

"It was sweet tho." I answered looking away from him so he wouldn't see how upset I was.

"Yeah. Mike loves you as a brother. He does that to people, once you know him you never want to let him go." he said, all serious.

"But now that you're mine, let's cheer up a bit." he said as he put on the radio and started singing along.

I had miss his voice, god, I had miss everything about him. His crooked smile, his lips, his perky ass, the way he made me feel like I was the most beautiful human being on the planet. When I was with him, everything was possible, everything was an adventure and I wasn't scared anymore. He made me truly feel like I could have it all.

We arrived at his house and since it was so close to my previous home, I wondered if I would ever bump into my dad. Now that I was dead to him, he would probably ignore me anyway. I shook that idea out of my head as we entered the front door. The entrance lead to a hallway. It was a rather small house.The first thing that I noticed were the white walls of the hallway with yellow spots on them because of the frames that had been removed. All the pictures of Vincent were gone which was a good sign. Gerard observed my every move and reactions as I was looking around, discovering what my life would look like from now on.

''We're gonna get your stuff out of the car later, now I just want you to make yourself at home.'' Gerard said. It was okay with me, I was feeling way to lazy to unpack anything anyway.

At the right end of the hallway was the kitchen, the walls had been painted bright yellow, contrasting with the white counters.

“You’re making coffee tomorrow morning, I wouldn’t know how this thing works’’ I said, pointing the most sophisticated coffee machine I had ever seen in my life.

‘’Ha-ha, it’s not that complicated, I’ll show you sometime. But yeah, coffee and breakfast in bed for my Frankie tomorrow.’’ He said, kissing me. That sounded like a dream.

He opened every drawers and cupboards to show me where things were so I wouldn’t have to ask him. It was a nice gesture even tho I would probably end up doing it anyway.

‘’I warn you, I’m not a great cook unless you want to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.’’ I said, looking at him as he was showing me an object I didn’t know the name of and certainly didn’t know how to use.

‘’No worries babe, I used to cook for Vincent all the time.’’ He said, as I cringed at the mention of his not even ex-husband’s name. It was a constant reminder that he had been living in the same house than Gerard and most importantly, that he had been all over him.

‘’Sorry..I…don’t want things to be weird between us because of him okay?’’ He said, almost pleading as if he thought that he had ruin the mood with his comment.

‘’Its okay, it’s just, give me some time to get used to it and I’ll be alright.’’ I answered.

He gave me another kiss as if to say he agreed and we moved on to the living room. The walls had been painted dark blue and it was meant to be a home cinema. Half of the shelves were full of weird old horror movies I had never seen and the other half of comic books. He had drawings of superheroes that I didn’t recognize all over the walls.

‘’I redecorated a bit since he took everything that was in it’’ He said, smiling like an idiot.

‘’Who are they supposed to be?’’ I asked, pointing at the drawings on the walls.

‘’Nothing you would recognize. They are my creations.’’ He said, half proud and embarrassed.

‘’Whoa, Gee, you’re really good at drawing! Those are amazing!’’ I said, impressed that he had such a talent.

‘’Well, thanks, I’m not bad.’’ He said, sliding a hand through his hair.

‘’A therapist and an artist… man, I couldn’t be luckier’’ I said, kissing him using a little more tongue than I first intended.

‘’As long as it turns you on, I must agree.’’ He said, purring.

‘’Ever fucked on the couch?’’ I asked as I was about to sat down on it.

‘’Is that a proposition or a question?’’ He asked, smirking.

‘’More like a reason no to sit there.’’ I answered, teasing him.

‘’No worries, we only did it on the bed and he left with it.’’ He answered, half smiling.

He took my hand and we climbed the stairs that lead to threeroom and a bathroom. The first room was obviously Alice’s since the walls were full of painted unicorns and rainbows which seemed to have been made by Alice herself. There was a small table with two chairs in the middle of the room which I recognized because of the picture he kept in his wallet of them having a tea party.

The second room was an office, which he used to work from home. He never met clients there since Alice used to live with him. He was more comfortable with his patients not knowing where he lived, especially the ones like April. It was as messy as his real office, I thought as I shook my head.

‘’I..haven’t had the time to clean up…I..’’ He said, scratching his head, trying to make excuses for something I didn’t really care about.

‘’It must feel like home at your office then.’’ I said, just to tease him a bit more because he looked embarrassed.

‘’It kinda does. But it’s not as fun now that you’re not there anymore.’’ He said, thoughtful.

‘’You got me at home now.’’ I said, biting my lips as his smile reached his ears.

‘’Now the last but not the least...’’ He said as he opened his bedroom door.

His room was dark, painted grey charcoal, his bedspread was black and the covers were read. As I was looking around, I noticed something on the bed. He took what looked like a comic book and gave it to me.

‘’Remember, I bought it for you when we went to the comic book store?’’ He said as I recognized the batman cover.

‘’Of course..’’ I said, reading for the second time the note he had left inside of the cover.

‘’You never took it home. I kept it for you.’’ He said, looking at it like it was made of gold.

‘’I love you’’ I said, kissing him on the cheek.

‘’I love you too.’’ He said, as he pushed me on the bed.

‘’My Frankie, I’ll get to wake up next to you every goddamn morning.’’ He said as he let out a sigh.

‘’I hope you don’t snore.’’ I said, just to annoy him and ruin the moment. He was getting a bit too intense and I knew where this would lead us. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to have sex in his bed even thohe had said that he had changed the mattress.

‘’I don’t think I snore…I don’t really know.’’ He said, thinking.

‘’How could you not know?’’ I asked.

‘’Well, Vincent never said anything about it and I never asked. So yeah..you’ll find out by yourself.’’ He answered casually.

Then he started kissing me, caressing my inner tights. I kissed him back with less passion than he was expecting.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ He asked, concerned.

‘’Nothing.’’ I answered, not wanting to completely ruin the moment.

‘’Frank, come on. You can’t lie to me. Nothing means everything is wrong.’’ He said, looking at me directly in the eyes.

‘’Not everything. I just need time.’’ I said.

‘’Alright, wanna watch a movie instead of having sex?’’ He said, smiling as if he had read my mind.

‘’How did you..?’’ I asked, surprised.

‘’ That’s one of my magic powers.’’ He said, all mysterious.

Then we went into the living room. He let me pick the movie; Evil dead, an old movie made in the 80’s. I read the description on the back cover.

‘’Five friends travel to a cabin in the woods, where they unknowingly release flesh-possessing demons.’’

That sounded like fun.

‘’There’s even a sequel, if you like it’’ He said, smiling.

‘’Is it bad?’’ worried that I picked a movie that he didn’t like.

‘’Well, it’s old. I think it’s more hilarious than scary. If I bought it means I like it babe, so no worries. I’ll watch it again.’’ He said, reading my mind, once again.

‘’Alright.’’ I said, sitting next to him.

He got up again, all excited, to close the blinds then started to cuddle. I liked when he put his arms around my waist, it was the most reassuring thing I ever felt. I loved when he rested his head on my shoulder. There was nowhere else I ever wanted to be but with him.
The movie had ended since almost half an hour when the front door bell rang, surprising both of us and waking up Gerard who had fallen asleep on my lap.

‘’Are you waiting for someone?’’ I asked, concerned.

‘’Nope. Must be a hawker or something..’’ He said, getting up and falling down because his head was spinning from still being half asleep.

I laughed at the scene as he got up and disappeared in the door frame. After a few minutes, I became curious so I got up to see who he was talking to. As I was getting closer to the door I heard Vincent’s voice.

‘’I don’t remember..at all. You sure you called me?’’ Gerard said, kinda surprised.

‘’Maybe you were drunk or high, never know what to expect with you’’ Vincent answered, harshly.

‘’You don’t have to act like this in front of her. It’s okay, you can come sweetheart. We’re gonna have a blast together.’’ Gerard said.

‘’Alright, I’ll come take her on Sunday. Be good. I love you’’ Vincent said to Alice before she entered the door.

I backed up no knowing exactly what to do. Maybe Gerard wasn’t ready for me to meet his daughter. That was such a strange situation and it was certainly nerve racking. I thought that I would have more time to make my mind up around meeting someone so precious to Gerard. I sat down on the couch, hyperventilating as I heard Gerard talking in the hallway.

‘’I didn’t think it would be so soon, but daddy’s got someone he wants you to meet.’’ Gerard said, as he appeared in the door frame, followed by Alice.

She was wearing a pink princess dress and was holding a white teddy bear in her hand. She looked so much like Gerard even tho he wasn’t her biological father.

‘’Say hello to Frank.’’ Gerard said, standing in the background as Alice was walking towards me.

‘’Hello Frank, I’m Alice. Are you my daddy’s boyfriend?’’ She asked rather directly.

‘’Humm..hello..’’ I answered, destabilized by her question.

‘’Yeah she’s pretty clever.’’ Gerard said, laughing.

‘’You look really young.’’ She said, observing my every features as if to decide if I was worth knowing.

‘’It’s cause he is, sweetheart. Frank is 18.’’ Gerard said like if it was the most normal thing in the world.

She sat down next to me looking at my skeleton hoodie.

‘’This is Hector. My bunny. He says hello.’’ She said, making her bunny wave his paw.

‘’Nice to meet you, Hector.’’ I said, shaking her bunny’s paw.

‘’You seem pretty cool. Mikey said he likes you.’’ She said, smiling.

‘’Yeah Mikey can’t keep a secret.’’ Gerard said, schooling him like if he was there with us.

‘’Mikey is the best uncle ever.’’ She said, defending him.

‘’If Mikey likes you and my daddy likes you, it means I like you too.’’ She said, hugging me tightly.

Gerard sat down next to Alice and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She looked really happy to see him.

‘’Did you really forget about me?’’ She asked Gerard, pouting.

‘’Yeah, daddy’s got a lot of things on his mind lately. I’m sorry baby.’’ He said, trying to make up for it.

‘’Is it because of Frank?’’ She asked, like if I wasn’t there.

‘’Not really. I don’t know…maybe a little bit. Frank does take a lot of space in my mind lately but it’s work and..’’Gerard said, interrupting himself.

‘’And daddy Vincent?’’ She asked, finishing his sentence.

‘’Yeah..me and daddy Vincent are not in really good terms lately.’’ He said, sadness in his eyes.

I wished I could’ve disappear under one of the couch cushions.

‘’Because you love Frank?’’ She asked, not minding the fact that I was obviously uncomfortable with the topic of the conversation.

‘’That and other things. You know that daddy and I fell out of love a long time ago. I told you all about this already. It’s true that things got worse now that Frank is part of my life.’’ Gerard said, ignoring me at his turn.

‘’Yeah. I know. Daddy Vincent is not really funny lately. He always stays in his room and barely talks to me.’’ She said, pouting.

‘’It’s a hard time for everyone my love, it’s gonna be alright soon tho, I promise. What do you say if I tell you Frank is gonna stay all weekend with us?’’ He asked, trying to cheer her up.

‘’I say yayyyy!!!!’’ She answered, hugging me again. Making friends with Alice was going to be easier than I had thought.

‘’Alright, why don’t you get your bag upstairs and let me talk to Frank for a few minutes?’’ He asked her in the nicest way possible.

She ran out of the living room yelling that the weekend was going to be the best and Gerard and I started laughing.

‘’How cute.’’ I told him, smiling.

‘’Yeah. She is. Are you alright with this tho? I didn’t think..I should’ve asked you.’’ He said, uncomfortable.

‘’Of course, she’s your daughter, she’s part of the package deal. The sooner, the better.’’ I told him, knowing that Alice was right. This was going to be an interesting weekend indeed.

‘’Just when I thought it was impossible to love you more than I already did.’’ Gerard said, leaning over and kissing me softly. Right at this moment, I couldn’t have been happier. It was exciting to be part of a family again.

Notes

Frank is part of a family again.

Happiness.