The Only Way

My mom had called in the afternoon. She wanted to meet me so we could talk about what was going on in our lives. I still wanted to go live with her but finding a place where to live seemed to take more time than I had expected. My dad dropped me off at her hotel around 2 pm. She had told him of her intention to take me with her so we could live together.

"Oh my god, what happened to your face, baby?!?" She must have missed me because she never had called me baby before.

"Got into a fight will Miller. I let him win."

"I hate it when you use violence to prove a point, honey, such a pretty face, all swollen." She said, squeezing my cheek.

"Outch, mom, it still hurts." I said.

"I thought for a moment there, that it was your dad that had done this to you." she said, sadness in her eyes.

"Nah, he hits where it doesn't show." I told her, relieved that I could finally tell her about it.

"I didn't know it, my love, I thought you were having trouble at school, if I had knew I would've done something, I would've taken you with me." she said, feeling guilty.

"Yeah, but now you do, so can I come live with you?"

"Of course my love, I found a place downtown, it's a four bedroom apartment, nothing luxurious but, for just the two of us, it'll will do."

"It sounds great, I hardly can't wait."I said, excited about the idea.

"How are things going with your therapist?" she asked. This felt like an interrogatory.

"I am now seeing a psychiatrist, Mr. Way recommended him, he prescribed me pills for my panic disorder cause it was getting worse."

"Oh, your dad didn't tell me."

"Yeah it's cause he doesn't know."

"Who's paying for it then?" she asked, worried.

"Mr. Way..he transfers the money to the guy. I don't know exactly how it works but it's his brother so..he did me a favor."

"So you've trade a Mr. Way for another one?"

"Yeah."

"That's kinda funny. What were the odds that his brother was a shrink too." she said, amused.

"Life is weird like that sometimes."

"Does your father treats you right lately?" she asked, concerned.

"Yes and no. He's drunk all the time and often forget I exist which it's fine by me."

"And school?"

"My grades are okay."

"Only okay?"

"What did you expect ? Most people are faking sick not go to school while I'm faking healthy to go." I told her, shrugging.

"At least you didn't drop out...I'm sorry, I realise now that I haven't always been there for you baby. I wanna make it up to you." She said, kissing my forehead.

"Alright mom, don't need to go all sentimental on me. I forgave you already."

"My baby's growing up, becoming a wise young man." She said, tearing up.

"I love you so much." She said, hugging me.

"I love you too mom." I said slightly weirded out by all the attention I was getting.

"Your dad told me you invited a girl to sleep over the other night, is she your girlfriend?"

"No, mom..she's just a friend, I'm..I'm gay."

"Oh..I..of course you are. I..I'm so sorry Frank..I should know these things." She looked helpless.

"It's okay, it's not like I'm advertising it either. Dad would kill me."

"Oh no he won't. I won't let him make you ashamed of who you are."

"Thanks, mom, that's really sweet." I smiled.

"So then, I guess you find Mr. Way kinda hot, don't you?"

"What..? Euhm..I haven't noticed.." I said, surprised by her question.

"You're such a bad liar."

"Is his brother as hot as him?" She asked, giggling.

"You wouldn't believe." I told her, smiling. It was nice to talk to my mom about these things. I really had missed her.

We talked for another hour then she dropped me off at home so I could pack up my things. I picked up a couple of cardboxes and got out of the car.

"I'll come get you at 8 pm, mommy's got things to buy, alright?"

"Okay, see ya mom." I said, annoyed that she was talking to me like a baby.

"I can't wait, baby." She kissed me on the cheek and finally let me go.

My dad was waiting for me inside. I tried to go straight to my room but he stopped me.

"Where do you think you're going with all those boxes?"

"To my room, I'm packing my things, you should be happy." I was pissed off already.

"You bet I am, but not so fast."

"Did she tell you something about me? Does she want to see me again?" He asked, hoping I would reassure him.

"Nah, sorry. She thinks you're a fucking asshole and she's right." I said, almost laughing.

"You think because you're leaving you have the right to talk to me like that?" he asked, anger in his eyes.

"Once I'm out this door, I won't see your fucking jerk face ever so I don't really care." I wasn't afraid of him anymore.

"You want me to add some bruises to your face? No one would notice." He said, threatening me.

"You won't cause she will notice and if she doesn't, I'll tell her then you'll never get her back."

"I'll take the chance you little shit, don't ever threaten me again." he said, kicking me in the nuts. I hit the floor instantly and an agonizing pain tore through my lower body. He walked over me and went out the door, leaving me laying on the floor. I didn't move for several minutes because it felt like I was going to vomit. I guess I had deserved it, in a way. When I was finally able to get up, I went upstairs and started packing as fast as I could. I was afraid he would come back to beat me.

It took about an hour to pack all my things. I sat down on the bed, playing on my phone, waiting for my mom to arrive. It was about 7:30 pm when I received a text from Gerard. Mike must had told him he could text me.

From Gerard
Hi, how are you lately?

To Gerard
Great. I'm moving in with my mom. Couldn't be happier.

From Gerard
Can I call you?

I had no time to answer because my phone rang. It was him, he hadn't not let me answer.

"I was too afraid you would say no"

"I would've have said yes." I told him.

"I'm glad that you're moving in with your mom. I told you things would get better."

"I'm glad that you were right cause, sincerly, I had lost faith."

"How are things with Mike?" He asked.

"Great, he's really good at his job."

"I had to wait a week before texting you..he made me promise." He admitted.

"I'm glad you did, I was so pissed off. I wouldn't have texted you back. And now you're catching me in a pretty good mood."

"Yeah, all thanks to Mike and your mom of course."

"Yeah.." I didn't know what else to add.

"It's good to hear your voice. I really missed it" he said, softly.

"I.."

"You don't have to say you did too. I get that you are still pissed at me." he said, interrupting me.

"I'm not, it's just..it's awkward."

"My feelings are still the same in case you wonder.."

"I haven't wonder. In fact I've tried to get you off my mind. It's getting in the way of my recovery from my panic disorder." I didn't wanna be mean but I didn't want to lie to him either.

"You don't have panic attacks anymore?" he asked, excited.

"Not since a week, not since I'm taking those pills. I know the effect is only supposed to show in a month but I can already feel it."

"I'm glad for you, really I am."

"And how have you been, with your drinking problem and all?" I asked him.

"Well it's not like I can pop a pill and it's over. It's a daily struggle but this time I'm doing it for myself, not for anybody else."

"You seem..better, well sober anyway."

"Yeah, I am but I'm not gonna lie, my life's empty without you. I got no one to comfort at 2 am when I can't sleep." He said.

"I need time, Gerard. You broke my heart pretty bad and now it's trying to heal. I'm not sure I can trust you again."

"I'm not asking for it, I'm just saying I missed you fucking much." He said, sadness in his voice.

"Yeah, I got that." I was too proud to tell him how I felt.

"Okay, well it was nice talking to you. Say hi to your mom for me."

"Alright, have a good evening, Gerard."

"You too."

Then I hanged up. Maybe I had been too hard on him but I would take Mike's advice. He had told me to wait till I felt it was right and I wasn't ready yet. I looked at the clock and I realised my mom was running late, again. It was so typical of her that I wasn't even mad. It was now 9 pm and I was getting a bit worried when I heard the bell ring from our front door. It was her, I thought, running downstairs. I opened the door and saw a police man, standing there awkwardly.

"Can I speak to Mr. Victor Iero?"

"He's not there at the moment, I'm his son."

"I regret to inform you that Margarett Hudson has died from a car accident, about an hour ago." It was my mom's name.

"It can't be right, she...was supposed to get me...I.." I said, confused.

I fell on the floor. Everything became blurry around me, it felt like the weight of the world was sitting on my chest. I couldn't believe what the man in front of me was saying. It couldn't be her. She would arrive in a minute to tell that policeman that he was wrong and we all would laugh about it. She couldn't have left me there. She was my only hope of leaving this hell hole, the light blinking at the end of the road.

The man in front of me was speaking but his words made no sense. Something about a drunk driver and my mom being projected out of the car because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt. He told me she had died instantly like I had to be happy that she didn't suffer. He tried to help me get up but my head was spinning and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground again, losing conscience, joining my mom in eternal darkness, so I thought.

Notes

Death. Sadness. Regrets.