The Only Way

Gerard P.o.v. This chapter happens right after chapter 7 : The Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
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I had just left Frank's house and I was going straight to Mike's. How could I ever let this happen? I had made a promise to myself, I would take my distance from him, I would remain his friend. Instead I chased him around the house and almost kissed him. If it wasn't enough I made him a promise to think about us, almost telling him there was a possibility. I needed to make up my mind about this or else he would think I was playing hard to get.

When I arrived, Mike was sitting on the chair he used for his sessions with his patients.

"Please sit down, Mr. Way. Would you like a coffee or a tea, before we start, or some water maybe?" He said, acting like a jerk.

"Come on Mike..."

"What? You're practically a patient now.. I might start charging you."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Stop being so funny. I really need to talk."

"Let me guess...your problem is 5"4, lives 2 blocks away from your house and starts with a F"

"Yeah congradulations Mike. You're so clever."

"Thanks to many years of university and lack of personnal life. I would like to thank my mother
for..well...nothing" He said, acting like he was doing a speech in front of a crowd.

"Stop it..it's serious Mike.."

"Alright, sorry, go on."

"I..was at his house, he texted yesterday at 2 am, asking if I could come by today."

"2 am...of course, that's normal, I do that with all my patients. Ahh you reminded me I got to call Diane, for our usual 6 pm bath talk.." He said, a smirk on his face.

"Shut up."

"You're not really helping yourself there, Gee, I mean, you're begging for trouble."

"It's not like that.."

"Okay, I'm listening."

"We were talking and I saw his wrists, he's..he cuts himself, because his dad told him he never loved him."

"What a nice father-in-law you would have.." He said, rolling his eyes.

"I know..but I..it reminds me of us Mike. Remember all the shit we went through?"

"Yeah, thanks, I try not to, y'know..?" He said, looking uncomfortable.

"Well that's why I want to help him so much..cause when I see him, I see you."

"Woah..did you just admit you have had a super secret crush on me all those years?" He was laughing and seriously getting on my nerves.

"Can I talk to my psychiatrist please? My brother's being an annoying little shit."

"Gee..please..you are mixing things, making everything way more confusing than it should be."

"I almost kissed him. And when I saw his disappointment, I..kissed him on the cheek and then on the forehead and then promised I would think about it." I said, ashamed.

"You basically promised you would date him if he gave you time to think. You realise it now, don't you?"

"Yeah..I..but his mom left him with his dad, she just took off. He kept on being so adorable and gorgeous and it confused the hell out of me."

"It sucks for him but..Gee, you are the grown man in all of this, you are the therapist for fuck's sake, you know what you're doing, he doesn't, I'm not gonna pity you, man, he's the victim here, you're not."

"He's not a victim. I'm not forcing him to do anything." I said, defending myself.

"No but you made a promise you won't be able to keep. I mean, think about Alice, how would she react knowing you date a guy who's less than half your age?"

"She would think her dad's pretty cool?"

"Yeah maybe for like a second, then she'd think her dad's a creep."

"You know what? Fuck you Mike. You left your wife for a girl who's barely 21 and you're acting like none of the rules applies to you." He really pissed me off.

"It's not the same and you know it. First of all, I didn't leave my wife for her, we were over way before things started with Suzanne. Second, she's working, had her own place, she acts like a fucking grown up alright? She's far from being a 17 year old boy who's still in highschool and lives with his parents. And third, you're my older brother dude, you're three years creepier than I am."

"Okay..thanks for the reality check Mike. So much for your "I just want you to be happy" crap."

"..cause..you are right? Are you really happy Gerard?" He said, looking directly in my eyes.

"Of course I'm not..I love someone I can't be with because of all the stupid rules, conventions or whatever." I answered, honestly.

"Then be with him, Gee, and stop acting like you don't want these things to happen. Grow a fucking pair, tell him you love him and deal with the consequences of your choices."

"You're..you're right."

"So as I told you, I'm there to help, how you gonna do this?"

"I'll wait..cause I can't right now. I have to deal with Vincent before. Can't have him wandering around, still trying to get me back. I'll have to do this face to face."

"Yeah but remember he wants you back and when he'll realise he can't, I'm not sure he'll drop his demand for full costudy."

"I wished I never would have met him sometimes."

"Yeah but then you wouldn't have a beautiful daughter and I wouldn't be uncle Mikey, and that would just be too sad.."

"Yeah she loves you very much, won't shut up about it most of the time."

"I'm her magic Mike." He said, smiling.

"Euhm....I hope you're not referring to the movie or else I'll be worried." I answered, weirded out by his declaration.

"What movie?"

"The one with the male strippers?"

"Wtf Gee!?!" He said, grossed out.

"Ohh never mind, alright?"

"What kind of movies are you watching these days?" He asked, worried.

"On what planet are you living, man, that's the real question, here." Wow, my brother was an alien.

"Certainly not on a planet where I watch dudes undressing themselves and call it magic."

"Okay, dropping the subject, now."

"Mannn..I don't mind that you're gay but don't mix me and your daughter with all of this."

"Alright, now I need a drink." I told him.

"Sorry I'm out."

"Not even a fucking beer after all we just talked about?"

"Gee, I'm worried about you."

"Don't'...please Mike. It's like I can't even drink a beer without you worrying I might be an alcoholic.." I said, annoyed.

"I know how these things work alright? Been through the same shit and all, remember?"

"Yeah but.."

"Are you taking the pills I gave you?" He said, interrupting me.

"You know how I feel about putting chemicals in my body..."

"Yeah, you'd be ready to drink yourself to death but not take medication that might help you, right?"

"Always been a true champion for self-destruction." I laughed.

"Yeah but you've got Alice now, you gotta take this seriously."

"Alright I'll take your goddamn pills but can I at least have a smoke?"

"Outside."

We went through the back door and sat down on the stairs of his porch.

"How's it going with Suzanne?" I asked.

"Great! We're having sex all the time and by that I mean allllll the time." He said, proudly.

"Wow, that's great but maybe a little too much information."

"What? You can talk to me about how you fantasize on a 17 year old, tell me all about his smile, his eyes and his tight ass but I can't tell you about how great sex is with my girlfriend?"

"Yeah I guess you have a point."

"He always has a point." A voice said behind our backs. It was his girlfriend Suzanne.

"Hey love" Mike said. She answered back with a kiss. She had brown hair, was smaller than me, I guess she was pretty for a girl.

"Hello Gee, still need my boyfriend's advice?" She said, teasing me.

"Yeah he's like my lighthouse you know? Helping me getting my boat across to shore in complete darkness."

"Never thought you were a romantic" she said, winking at me.

"Well I guess you don't know me that well, do you?"

"We'll have to fix that, won't we? Here's a beer, just came out from the fridge" She said sitting down next to me. Mike looked really annoyed but I guess he didn't tell her about my drinking problem.

"I like you already." I smiled.

"So tell me a bit about yourself." She said in a serious way, acting all therapist like.

"I'll leave you two to it. Gotta fix dinner for the woman of my life." Mike said, kissing her on the cheek and going back inside.

"Get me a beer please? She asked Mike, through the door frame. He gave her one then she sat down to listen to my answer.

"I..am a therapist. I live in the part of town where no one wants to live. Huh, I'm Michael's brother." I said, knowing she probably knew all of these things.

"Okay, guess it'll be better if I go straight ahead and ask questions."

"Yeah, certainly..I'm not really good at the "get to know me better thing.""

"Got a girlfriend?"

"Okay going straight to the point.."

"So ? Don't tell me a gorgeous man like you has no one in his life." She said, almost flirting.

"Gay, totally gay." I answered, embarrassed by her attitude.

"Boyfriend then?" She asked with a smile.

"An ex husband, almost divorced and all.."

"So no boyfriend?"

"Not at the moment. May I know why you seem so interested to know about it?"

"Ever dated girl?" She asked, ignoring my question.

"Girls are gross." I said, trying to make her feel uncomfortable so she would lose the attitude.

"Why did you split up with your ex?" It wasn't working.

"Why everyone keeps asking that damn question?" I asked, taking a sip from my beer but it was already empty.

"You're not answering...you might not get another beer." She said, trying to bribe me. Maybe she knew about my drinking problem after all.

"Alright, alright, cheated on him." I admitted.

"With?" She asked.

"A girl." I said, feeling stupid.

"Knew it! So girls aren't that gross Mr. Totally Gay?" She said, handing me the beer she had in her hand.
"I guess not." I said, ashamed.

"So, who are you annoying my boyfriend with all the time? That same girl? Or is it a man?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Michael has been dreaming about doing it with dudes since you started asking for help. I mean, he says you can't shut up about the guy. It's haunting him."

"Typical Michael...dreaming about dudes, telling his girlfriend about it, then wondering why he's in trouble." I laughed.

"Hey, I wasn't mad, it's kinda hot really, way better than if he was dreaming about chicks. But y'know these are just dreams, I'm not crazy enough to blame him for it."

"Guess you have nothing in common with his ex then."

"Yeah..so I've heard. But are you trying to distract me from finding the truth?!?"

"It's a guy."

"Yeah we had already established that."

"A pretty one. Interesting, funny and all."

"I heard he's kinda young?"

"Michael fucking Way....!!" I shouted. He had tell her about Frank, fucking bastard.

"Sorry...I insisted and he told me cause I wouldn't shut up. You should blame me, I can be pretty convincing when I want." She said, implying she bribed him with sex.

"Yeahhh..so I've heard." I said, rolling my eyes. She giggled and her cheeks turned red.

"Hey I've got nothing to be ashamed of! It means our couple is pretty healthy. From a shrink perspective right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Or that she was manipulative, I thought.

"You know age is just a number. If you're crazy for the guy like Mike told me you are, you should just go for it. If Mike would've focus on our age difference, we wouldn't be together and..we're really great together right baby?" She asked, loud enough for Mike to hear.

"Yes darling, we're the best." Michael answered from inside the house.

"You may be right...but.."

"I know I'm being nosy but I just wanted to tell you that cause it's important for me. Michael has change my perspective on things. We only live once.." She said, interrupting me.

"Don't fucking yolo me, Suzanne." I said, laughing.

"I'm not.." She said, slightly annoyed.

"I mean, okay let's say we're together. He has to find another therapist."

"Anyone could help him, Michael could."

"Okay then, what am I telling his parents? Hi I'm Mr. Way but call me Gerard cause I'm dating your son and no worries I'll wait till he's legal to fuck him."

"Omg..stop being so cynical. You don't have to tell his parents till he graduates. Then, he'll probably move out and it won't matter who he's dating cause he won't live with them."

"I don't know in which fairytale you come from, Suzanne but.."

"I come from a world where everything is possible as long as you deal with your shit and accept that it won't always be easy okay?" She said, interrupting me again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to piss you off. I like you." I told her.

"I like you too. You remind me of my older brother, always acting like a condescendant prick." She said, smiling.

"That's a funny one you got there." I said to Michael standing in the door frame.

"Yeah I know. Dinner's ready. If you wanna stay you're welcome."

"You're more than welcome" Suzanne said, taking my hand, dragging me inside so I would sit at the table.
The rest of the night was filled with laughter and promises of more beers. I was grateful for Michael and his new girlfriend. They kept my mind off the divorce and made things almost possible with Frank. Mike insisted to drive me home after the tenth beer I drank. I wasn't that wasted but agreed cause it really wasn't safe for me to drive.

I crashed on the bed when I arrived home, too tired to do anything else, when my phone vibrated. It was Frank.

From Frank
Panic attack. Right now.

I called him right away. Mr. Way to the rescue. I could hear him breathing heavily in the background.

"Breathe slowly. Is there anyone home?"

"No. I'm alone. I'm scared..I'm gonna."

"Remember how I told you that you were not gonna die from this? I really meant it Frank."

"Can you come home?" He asked, almost begging.

"I can't..I'm sorry, I've been drinking."

"Okay." He said, still trying to find his breath.

"I'm really sorry Frank, I would if I could you know that right?"

"Yeah.."

"Focus on my voice, alright? Just close your eyes. You are safe now. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere..."

I spent the next half hour saying soothing sentences that I knew would help him. He was brave and I was proud of him. I sang to him till I made sure he was asleep. I liked signing for him, it made me feel like I had a super power or something. Even tho he was a mess, I liked everything about him. Maybe I liked the fact that he needed me but I didn't care, at this point I was too far gone into this wonder, lust, love, call it whatever, I wasn't being rational, hell there was never anything rational about it. I loved him to death.

Notes

Enjoy <3