Gerard p.o.v : this happens two days after chapter 5 : The Savior Of The Broken, The Beaten And The Damned
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I was parked in front of my office, waiting for this feeling to fade. I didn't want to see Frank so soon after what I had done. I should have known better, it wasn't a great idea to drink on the job. Lately I didn't know what was happening to me, I was supposed to help the kid but he made me so nervous all the time that I couldn't think straight. I have to cancel our session, I thought. My hand was shaking as I tried to put the keys in the ignition. I took my phone and texted him.

To Frank:
I'm sorry Frank, something came up and I have to cancel our session. See you next week. You can still text, call or whatever.

I didn't want him to think I was letting him down, I just needed time to think.

I called my brother Michael who was a psychiatrist. It was common for therapists to have their own shrink and god knows how I had been needing one lately. My life was crambling and all I was left with were broken spare parts.

"Hey Mike, can I see you, like, right now?"

"Yeah, I'm free for the rest of the evening."

"Great, see ya."

I really needed to talk to him about Frank. My mind was filled with things that concerned him lately, from dusk till dawn, all I could think about was him, his smile, his beautiful but yet so sad eyes, his laid-back attitude even tho he was always panicking on the inside. His life was so shitty that all I wanted to take his pain away. I couldn't fall in love with a patient tho, I wasn't allowed, plus he was 17...what the hell was wrong with me? He was just a kid trying to figure out why shit was being thrown at him 90% of the time. And it certainly wouldn't help him if he had to deal with my problems in addition of his own. He was barely getting by as it was. He was strong but he didn't see it and no amount of love from me could make him realise it. My life was no fairy tale either. I needed to calm down and give him some space. Hell, we both would benefit from it, if I could just stop picturing him in my bed for one second.

I arrived and knocked on Mike's door. His office was at home, in his four bedrooms apartment, located downtown.

"Hey what's up bro?" Mike said, opening the door.

Mike was my little brother. I had been so proud when he had told me that he wanted to become a psychiatrist. He had walked in my footsteps, growing up I had been his role model since our dad walked out on us when he was three. I loved him more than anything and was glad that he was so eager to help me everytime I needed it.

I sat down on his blue armchair and started to make small talk about the weather and our respective jobs.

"So what's the emergency? I heard a hint of panic in your voice." He said, looking concerned.

"I need..to talk to you about one of my patient."

"Alright, I'm all ears."

"His name is Frank. He's living with his parents, his mom's practically never there, his dad's abusive and he has a panic disorder in my opinion, but I'm not quite sure yet. He's kind and funny..he's really something special."

"Huh huh." He noded, listening carefully.

"I..think I'm..I would like to help him but..I'm..stuck with this..thing.." This goddamn feeling I couldn't shake.

"Is this about Vince? I mean with the costudy bomb he dropped on you the other day, I can understand why your mind's on other things."

"No, it's not about Vince, quite the opposite, I'd say." It had nothing to do with my ex.

"The opposite?.." He said, not sure he understood what I meant.

"Yeah I'm..let's say I'm pretty distracted when I talk to Frank."

"Distracted by?"

"I think..He got a ...crush on me" I said, avoiding to tell him I had been feeling the same way about Frank.

"It's pretty common. How old is he?"

"He's 17 and...I did something bad.."

"Don't tell you've slept with him or I'll slap some sense into you..!"

"No, nothing of the sort. I..it's just..that y'know..I had a session with him on Thursday and I..well the night before, I heard the news about Vincent wanting full costudy and it made me pretty upset. I had a drink and another and then, well, several others and before I knew it we were the next day and it was time for my session with Frank and I..just kept on drinking on the job." I said, ashamed.

"..I didn't know you relapsed...I..you could've called me.." He said, looking really disappointed.

"Don't worry, I haven't been drinking since, it was a one shot deal. I won't do it again." I promised.

"So I bet you made a fool of yourself."

"Yeah, I can't remember it all but based on his reaction I guess it was pretty innapropriate."

"Did you kissed him?"

"No but I may have told him I liked him... more than I should..not explicitly but in a vague way that was too specific for our own good..you know?"

"Yeah..and now you wonder how to deal with this mess...when do you see him next?" He asked.

"Today...I texted him to cancel..I couldn't show my face after what I had done."

"Wait a minute.. You texted him?" He said, confused.

"Yeah I gave him my number the first time we met so he could text me if he had a panic attack."

"Wow...not really professionnal..I mean..no wonder he's all over you."

"No, it wasn't like that. The kid practically lives alone, I mean, he's got no one to rely on."

"And now you're his savior, the only one who cares about him and he wants to be with you. Am I right?"

"I can't stop thinking about him. I think I'm in love." It came out of nowhere but it felt good letting it out.

"You what?... Omg...I wasn't expecting this." He said, scratching his head.

"I can't help it..believe me I tried ! But..everytime I close my eyes, he's there, even in my dreams, I mean, the guy's printed on my retinas."

"That sounds intense."

"I'm falling for him, hard. I don't know what to do, I can't let this happen, I'll ruin it all for him."

"Well, maybe you should refer him to a collegue and stop being his therapist."

"No...I..can't let him down. Everyone in his life did and I made a promise that I would help him. He needs stability and someone to help him who had been through the same shit. When he talks, I can see myself at his age, as lost and confused. I can't do this to him." I knew it was the right thing to do but I was being selfish.

"Then fall out of love." He said.

"Easier said than done.."

"You have to try, Gerard, I mean..it's not like you can be with him right?"

"It..would be nice but it wouldn't do him any good.." It would only add more stress in his life.

"But you considered it?" He asked.

"He's really..he's so..I mean, I can't even put words on it. He's fucking perfect." I said, looking in the distance.

"Using the f word now, well damn..you seem like you're in it, deep."

"Yeah..it's like he put a spell on me, what I feel for him it's...it's irrational."

"Well..I'm the one who needs a drink now.." He said, opening his cabinet door.

"Mind to share?" I asked.

"I..am not sure you should." He said, trying to act like he was the big brother.

"Mike, I promise, I won't start drinking again, alright? I just..it's just one drink." It would probably turn out to be a lie but I needed it really bad.

"Alright...bourbon?"

"Sounds good." Anything would have done at this point.

"So I don't wanna encourage you but I'm curious.. What is he like?" He said pouring alcohol in my glass.

" Short, brown eyes with a bit of green in them, a gorgeous smile that makes you wanna kiss him on the spot, shoulder lenght hair, he looks like a bad boy but he's in fact really sweet. He wears jeans with holes in them and a hoodie. He drives me crazy I mean..he looks so fucking cool." I said, smiling.

"This description could have been made by a thirteen years old girl, Gerard, what's wrong with you?!" He asked, amused.

"I..I don't know man..you have to see him to understand, it's the pheromones y'know..his scent or some shit like that, it makes me wish I was a teenager again."

"Yeah but you're a grown man..and you're his therapist." He said, all serious.

"We already established that and it doesn't seem like my heart gives one single fuck about it." I said, shrugging.

"You're in trouble big brother. Don't do anything stupid. Try to keep your distance and pray for the feelings to go away."

"Praying never really worked for me, Mike, I think the guy upstairs is deaf when it comes to my demands."

"Yeah..he's prolly tired of your shit." He said, laughing.

"Have you talked to Vince ?" He asked.

"Nope. I don't want to anyway." This chapter of my life was done.

"You know he's only doing this to make you call him back right?"

"I couldn't care less."

"I'm not supposed to tell you this but he called me yesterday." He said, biting his lips.

"What for..?" I asked, annoyed that he had agreed to talk to him.

"He wants you back you know, but he's too stubborned to admit he still loves you after what you've done to him."

"I was drunk as shit alright? And I got help afterwards, went through fucking rehad for him, plus it was a girl and she meant nothing to me. I was pissed off, hurt and you know how drinking makes me horny..I should have known better but I didn't and after apologizing for the thousand time, I thought it would be best to break up. We were beyond repair way before this happened."

"I don't know..it would be best for Alice..that both her parents.."

"I have to be selfish on this alright? I am in love and I have never felt more alive." I said, interrupting him.

"But didn't you..want me to help you forget your patient? I mean he's off limits and you know it."

"I'm not sure now...I don't know..maybe yes, maybe no." I was confused.

"You have to think this straight, Gee."

"Yeah, I have to think about it, think about the pros and the cons y'know?"

"Whatever you want, I just want what's best for you, what will make you truly happy."

"I know and that's why I love you so much." I said, hugging him.

Afterwards we talked about what was going on in his life, his new girlfriend Suzanne who had just moved in with him. We talked about how he always chose girls that looked like our mom and had a debate on if he had the oedipus complex or not.

I went home to an empty house. No one was waiting for me there, it felt so lonely. I took my phone and started texting Frank but then decided not to when I thought about the conversation I just had with Mike. I needed time and space to think about this, that's what I would tell Frank next time I would see him.
I sat on the couch and decieded to write down a list, speaking of which, I had to remind Frank to give me the lists I had ask him to write. I started with the cons, it was the easiest part.

Pros and cons to date Frank Iero

Cons
His age
He's my patient
His dad is an homophobic psycho

Pros
He's kind
He makes me laugh
Something about him I can't describe
The way he makes me feel young again
The fact that I can help him
He thinks I'm hot
He's into me
His vunerability that makes him honest
His strenght
He doesn't know he's hot
His smile
His eyes
His whole body
The way he bites his lips
The way he always stares at my ass

I was starting to get horny. I dropped my pen down and layed down on the couch, a hand on my crotch and the other sliding throught my hair. I thought about Frank, his hands on me, his lips on mine. The hand on my crotch had slide in my underwear and was now making soft strokes. His sweet ass that I would spank, his hard dick that I would suck. Fuck I wanted to make love to him. The soft strokes were not so soft anymore. To make him feel like he was the most important thing in my life, to make him moan, to make him scream till the neighboors call the cops and to make him come so I could taste him. I bet he tasted good, a mix of salty and sweet. I pictured him naked on my bed on all fours, while I was fucking his tight ass..man..I was close. I would be his first, he was a virgin I could bet my life on this. He looked so pure but yet so sinful. I wanted to make him mine..

"Fuckk....humm..fuck..yeah." I came, screaming, shooting on my shirt. Well fuck. Now I needed to change.

I went upstairs, still panting, looking for my pjs. My phone vibrated. It was Frank.

From Frank:
Just got your message. Would have cancelled anyway. Was in the infirmary, trouble breathing and all.

To Frank
Are you alright?

From Frank
Yeah but I'm going to bed. I'll text if something comes up. Goodnight

To Frank
Sweet dreams

A part of me was glad he had went to bed cause I might have started to sex text him. Everything I felt about him was so intense. I wanted to be his savior, I wanted to be the only that would make him smile despite all he was going through in his life. It was selfish and it was stupid but I couldn't help it. He was the one I had been searching for all my life but I needed to be careful and take my time with this. I didn't want to screw up whatever this was before it even started.

Notes

Kinky Gerard!

The next three chapters are going to be from Gerard's point of view.
Thought it would keep things interesting.

Hope you still like it ;)