Troubled and Hurt

*POV Frank*

I was officially 16. It, like very year, feels no difference age wise. But I do feel very different because I am old enough to drive, and have a car. Oh and then there’s the fact I came out to my parents a few weeks ago. Yeah, I’m gay. I never really realized until all the guys kept talking about girls and how hot they are, and I could only find myself thinking about guys and looking at them. I don’t really think it’s a big deal. I have never been popular so people would make a big deal out of, and I don’t exactly having a dating history, so nobody has to be embarrassed for having a dated a gay dude.

I came out to my best friend first, Ray. He encouraged me to tell our other friends, Pete and Bob. They also fully supported me, and told me to tell my parents. Knowing I had the support of my friends, how could my parents not support me, too? I was only partially correct there. My mom was so happy I told her and she told me she secretly already thought that… thanks mom… My dad wasn’t that supportive. I told them while we were having dinner, my mom smiled and starting talking to me and how much she loved me and didn’t have to worry about being unsupported by my parents. My dad had looked at me, almost embarrassed, got up, angrily, and walked away. After a minute or so I could hear a door slam. He hasn’t said much to me since. At first I thought it was just a lot to process, but I guess he really doesn’t support me. I mean, it’s not like I can do anything about it!! My mom tries to make me feel better about it, sadly it doesn’t really work. I had a great life here in Belleville. My family has always been very close, and then my feelings get in the way and fuck everything up. At least I have the full support of my friends and mom, I mean, at least it’s something. I just feel like all the experiences of father, son are just useless and not really meant to be there. I know you don’t understand, but if you just saw the way he looked at me… It just really hurt, it ached, down to my soul, where I could feel every inch of my body become sadder every second, every step he took, getting further away. I play guitar to stop thinking about it, focus on the chords, every chord, focus on hand motion, can I play this any faster? My guitar really helps me get my mind off of whatever. I’ve been playing since a very young age, and come to think about it now, my dad is the one that taught me my first chords, and helped me play. He supported me, not anymore.

Since mom supports me so much, and dad doesn’t at all, they’ve been arguing a lot lately. Sometimes at 11:30 when I’m upstairs in bed, but sometimes also during dinner, right in front of me. It’s been happening so much lately and I feel like they’re going to split, and it will have been my fault. No matter how much my mom assures me that won’t happen, I just really think it will, and it makes me feel like complete shit every second of the day.

Notes

Hii, I'm the co-author and I'll be writing the Frank POV parts!

Hope you enjoy!!

much love,
frerardxx