Secondhand Smoke

Red. All I saw was red. It was all over my hands and I felt it dripping from my hair. It was blood. I felt my heart start picking up it’s pace. Where am I? Where is Frank? I turned my head a little to the right to see if he was still next to me. There was a terrible loud screeching noise, and I realized it was coming from me. I was screaming. Frank’s head was through the windshield, and he wasn’t moving.
“Frank?” I asked as loud as my voice would allow me. He didn’t answer. I tried to unbuckle myself but I couldn’t get it undone. What happened? Why am I here?
“Help! Please!” I yelled, hoping someone would hear me. I reached my arm out to try and touch Frank, but I couldn’t reach. I heard sirens off in the distance, and before I knew it, there were men in uniforms trying to pull me out of my little smashed-up car.
“No! Don’t worry about me, help him! Help Frank! Please! He’s all I have!” I tried to get someone’s attention, but no one payed any mind to my words. Frank was still lying there, with blood coming from his head.
I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier until I just completely blacked out.

When I opened my eyes, I was laying in a hospital bed. I looked around to see my brother, Mikey sitting in the chair next to me, reading a magazine. “Mikey?” I croaked out. He looked up at me and his eyes caught mine. “Gerard! You’re awake! Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?” He rushed out as if we didn’t have enough time for him to ask me anything. I shook my head.
“Where is he?” I asked, my throat filling up with worry.
“The doctor said he will come in and talk to you about him bu-”
“Where is he, Mikey?! Please.. just tell me.”
Mikey’s eyes started to get watery, and I knew that could only mean one thing.
“Oh my god.. please no please no oh my god no!! What am I going to do? Please no!” Tears were streaming down my face and my breaths came out quickly, but went in slowly. I couldn’t breathe. I kept slamming my fist down onto my pillow, while tugging on the collar of my hospital gown. I finally took a sharp gasp in, and I sobbed even harder.
“Gerard, I’m so so so fucking sorry, please lay down it’s going to be okay.” Mikey said, trying to comfort me.


“How did it happen?” I finally asked Mikey after hours of trying to calm down.
“You guys were in a car accident and it was really bad, Gerard. You guys rolled almost ten times. You’re lucky to even be alive.” He said, with sympathy in his voice. I couldn’t even look at him.
“How dare you fucking tell me that I’m lucky, while the love of my life is lying on a hospital bed somewhere, not breathing. I’m not lucky, and I don’t want to be.”

Notes